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Relationship full of love but very little sex

(6 Posts)
StirlingStu Wed 07-Aug-19 09:53:09

I'm sure this is one of the oldest stories in history, but here it goes.

I've been with my wife for over a decade. We love each other and have a beautiful daughter (2.5 years). For much of the marriage, my wife has had low libido. We're not talking ebbing and flowing; we're talking mainly on the floor with brief periods where things look like they're getting better. We've ha counselling before and things got a little better for a while (hence the daughter), but the norm has returned.

We both pull equal weight with parenting and housework, and both work similar hours. And to be clear, she would agree that this isn't due to an imbalance in domestic effort - I ask continually.

She just has very little. I've asked if she needs someone different, or if it's an attraction thing. It isn't. We love each other and don't want to break up, but it doesn't look like any change is coming.

Has anyone here had any success in beating a similar situation?

sad

Papersizes Mon 02-Sep-19 12:37:09

Yep. Pretty sure the reply will be censored.
You say: "I ask continually. "
Nothing less sexy than that.
Say to her, don't ask her:
"I've made arrangements, we are going out, somewhere you've never been before and do something you've never done before. Then at some point during the evening I'm going to fuck the most beautiful woman I've ever met."
Give it a try.

Surfskatefamily Tue 17-Sep-19 09:52:19

I'm in a similar place.. I'm the wife. However when my husband asked "can we have sex tonight' it's a turn off. He's also got to a point where he only does a nice thing for me to get sex not simply to love me. It's annoying me and damaging our sexual relationship more.

Example... Husband did a nice thing for me, we had sex, he was then a lazy pig for a week as he didn't need to 'woo' me anymore.

I do lovely things fof him all the time, being helpful romantic etc so I promise it's not one way.
. Try not to be a turn off with asking. The pp has a great idea and I'd second that

InDubiousBattle Sat 21-Sep-19 07:59:16

How were things pre marriage /early marriage? If your wife has pretty much always had a low sex drive I think that's unlikely to change and since noone should have sex they don't want you need to decide how you want to proceed.

EmbarrassingMama Thu 26-Sep-19 16:00:42

I don't think the OP is asking for sex continually! I think he's saying that he's constantly checking his wife is content that the balance of housework is equal.

If I've misunderstood and you are "continually asking" for a shag OP, that is a problem.

No advice other than revisiting counselling if it worked before?

Mycrazylife85 Wed 02-Oct-19 22:09:22

Is she on the pill? Contraceptives can zap any form of flicker from you

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