Daughter Transition Problems

[Hydrocall]

Hi All,

recently changed the routine, instead of seeing my daughter one night every week and a weekend day and night, to one night in the week and every other weekend for the whole weekend (Fri to Mon)

The first weekend, she got very upset being dropped off Monday morning.

As I type this she's been awake since going to bed, went into see her and she started crying, she wants to stay with me tomorrow and all that.

She's always been very much a daddys girl anyway, but is she playing on saying what I think she wants to hear?

Obviously I hate seeing my daughter distressed.

She's 3 years old.

Any hints or tips would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

A Desperate Dad.

[StrawCat]

Why was the routine changed? If she is staying at yours now and in tears and upset when you return her, I'd avoid letting her stay at yours and visit her at the mothers house.

If you are constantly taking her home in an upset state it's only a matter of time before that COULD be used against you for whatever reason.

Not really enough info in the OP to offer another opinion.

[CatstorTroy]

Just need to give it more time. Children become accutom to a routine and any change to the status quo creates havoc! Is there any way she can stay at yours for longer periods temporarily?

[spottygymbag]

Maybe try breaking down the steps for her into small chunks and keep repeating them so she knows what's coming next. It might help her to feel a bit more secure knowing what's coming next. Try to cover the key steps for each transition like picking up/dropping off/bed time/getting ready to leave in the morning etc.
I had trouble with my DD over any transition but this really helped. Like for daycare we say "through the gate, through the door, sign in, bags away, something to play with, big goodbye" She can repeat the steps and gets much less stressed when she gets a breakdown of steps.
Could be worth a try? Good luck!