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Are we taking too much on?

(6 Posts)
SimonArch1983 Mon 15-Jul-19 13:13:50

Long story, basically me and my DW got married in may. Around this time she came off of all contraception (using rubbers). She has mentioned having a baby a few times which I am more than happy with. (we've been together 12 years, we are in a stable relationship). We both work full time, although I'm going back part time (I'll keep current job) to do my MA in September. We are also saving for a house. My main question is, is it realistic to work, do an MA, Buy a house and have baby within sort of an 8/9 month period, or am I going to end up broke or round the twist? What has spurred the rush on is my wife ran into the lounge and burst out crying saying she is too old to have a baby now (she's only 30), I'm trying to balance all this stuff emotionally, physically and financially. It's all gone a bit mental. confused

Blondiejay24 Mon 15-Jul-19 13:43:48

She’s certainly not too old! I’m 30, just having my second. I know a lot of women in 30’s having 1st and 2nd.

Honestly it’s personal choice. Obviously you have to consider that when you’re wife goes on Mat leave her pay will drop. I had 6 months full pay the first time around but most companies only offer 3 months 90% pay then it’s stat. So trying to get a mortgage around the time you are both going to be earning less is not realistic, unless you have a lot of savings and are prepared that you won’t be able to borrow as much to make mortgage payments affordable. When I had my first we moved from our house; we already had a mortgage but wanted to move closer to family. We had quite a decent deposit from the sale of our house but as I was on Mat leave and only planning on returning part time this meant we couldn’t borrow as much (and this was with a substantial deposit) - so worth considering. You do not want to over stretch yourselves. Children are expensive anyway, nappies for 2/3 years, milk (if she doesn’t BF) and clothes.. lots of clothes! There are times we are stretched etc. But I love my daughter and it’s worth the sacrifice 100%. Having my second now and due any time.

In terms of your masters. It’s not impossible. I am studying CIMA, but I have definitely had to slow it all down and I take one exam at a time. I’m at managent level so that is equivalent to commencing a masters and it’s by no means easy. I’ll be taking a break while I’m on Mat leave, and just doing what I can with low expectations.

Good luck whatever you decide.

SimonArch1983 Mon 15-Jul-19 13:55:27

Thank you! She is the main earner unfortunately, 24k to my 18k, her work will drop down to minimum on maternity after a certain period, I can't remember the length of time. We will probably have about 10k give or take deposit (luckily we are in Birmingham and houses are still relatively cheap compared to elsewhere). It's over 3 years my Architecture Ma on the part time program. I don't want her to have to wait really, I know 30 isn't old I've told her this, she said she feels like her ovaries are going to explode! I understand she feels like her biological clock is ticking and I really want to have one. It's just so much pressure! Thank you again!

Blondiejay24 Mon 15-Jul-19 14:28:13

One thing at a time, maybe sort out your house situation. It will be such a relief for you both if you can get on the property ladder before baby arrives. I know how she is feeling, once you get the idea to have one it’s very very hard to put it off. But we already had a house before I got the ‘urge’. I always knew I wanted to do that first. Although getting a mortgage is not the be all and end all, but if it’s something you both want I would try and do it before baby when pay will drop and saving will be much harder etc. But like I said, don’t stretch yourself. You have to consider can you afford the mortgage should their only be one persons income.. If she’s the main earner, you could always consider shared paternity. So she goes back full time earlier and you take time off and study in the evening whilst having the baby? I study online and I fit it around my daughter and working 3 days. It works for me. Maybe you could remain full time and study online in the evenings?

It’s just about finding a balance and something that works for you both.

SimonArch1983 Mon 15-Jul-19 18:52:52

Thanks! Work have already said it's OK to go back one day a week for the MA, they cover the costs of the course and pay for the day out as well. It isn't available as an evening course unfortunately. I suppose thinking about it, it may take a while to conceive and then 9 months. We will have to crunch the numbers I guess.

Blondiejay24 Tue 16-Jul-19 12:20:58

Haha don’t count on it not taking ages.. took 2 months with my 1st and first time with my second! Even shocked me. Then 9 months flies by!
Good luck 😉

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