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Separation looming and inevitable... But can't afford to move out

(4 Posts)
Strongfortoolong Sat 13-Jul-19 09:15:30

Hi guys,

So a separation is looming large... Some days it feels like it'll be today and some days I feel like we (I) can hold things together for longer... But it does feel like it is certain just when...

Unfortunately I can't afford to move out...

Has anyone separated in the same house? Any advice most welcome.

UpInTheAir19 Wed 07-Aug-19 11:42:04

Hey mate

Seems like I'm in a very similar situation as you. Have been married for close to two decades but wife and I have agreed that it's probably time for us to go our separate ways.

We get on fine, neither have had an affair, but we've just really drifted apart over time to the point where there's v little intimacy and it feels like we're housemates.

In truth I'm quite excited about the possibility of being able to focus on myself (and the kids) for a bit. I feel like I give a huge amount to the relationship but don't get much back.

The calculations of paying 50% of the mortgage and full rent seems pretty hard but my main issue is finding somewhere to rent with the dog as 99% of rental adverts specific no pets. Surely as a pet loving country there's a huge market for this?

Seperation in the same house can't be good for anyone's mental health (kids majorly) - it feels like if you're going to do it you need to just make a clean break and then get on with moving on. What happens if one of you meets someone else?

It's also really awkward. You'll have times when you're both chatting and one says 'oh we could go here for a break' - before you realise that you're not really together anymore and you have that silence for a few mins.

Can you put the house on the market or is your OH looking to stay in it?

Seva Fri 09-Aug-19 19:54:35

Up in & strong,

I'm envious of your separations. The fact that you are both on talking terms with your partners is alien to me, mine up and left with the kid without notice the morning after a row.

But I guess a relationship fizzling out can be a long suffering instead of the way mine went out the window.

As for the dog, I rented with one. I found the best answer is to pick property you like even if it says no pets, ask the agent for the proposed lease, if it mentions nothing about the dog there then move in smile with your mut and plead ignorance to the advert. All that matters is the lease.

SussexJohn123 Fri 27-Dec-19 15:21:59

Gents, I feel like I'm about to fall in to this situation too - my wife blames me with a passion that we don't have a 2nd child and she's now 35 and will be 36 soon - basically hates me for this even though it's only come up recently and it's a toxic atmosphere for everyone in the house .... so muggins here is the one to pay the price

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