Oh god where do I start. Never been on a site like this but I don't where else to turn. I've always been confident, outspoken and felt like I exist on a higher plane to those who suffer from mental health issues. Like mere mortals haha. But here I am struggling not to cry my eyes out all the time and living with such intense heart beat feelings I feel like I could keel over and die. I live in a fairly unique situation. So unique I feel if I describe it in too much detail people may know its me. Which I can't really have. I have a combination of 5 kids. Some my own, others live with my wife and I, let's say step/foster kids too. My wife and I work full time (in 24 hour shifts) so we take turns in being the solo parent and have days together as joint parents. I have always sacrificed my needs, wants and opportunities for my family. I give them everything, I have very little. When my wife describes me and my actions in life to her friends or colleagues she does so with such smugness because I am a good husband and dad. I give it my all. I cherish the time I have and Cherish my wife and my children's very existence. I appreciate every breathe they take and every moment we are all alive and well as I know it can all vanish in a blink. I cook clean fix drive and am a god damn domestic king. Yet.... My wife is never God damn happy, never content for more than a few days, always something wrong, always something I've missed, always huffing about the chores despite it 99 percent of the time being god damn show house level clean and tidy, serious, no exaggeration, our eldest is the most selfish human I have ever met who is doing terribly at school and despite nearly being kicked out in my wife's eyes he can do no wrong. rules and boundaries often get laughed at as mum allows him to do whatever whenever, and despite having hard facts spoke about she denies it all. She mindlessly defends all of the children against evil old dad stating facts again, I am surrounded by selfish spoilt ungrateful people. I feel it has always taken some extra effort on my oart to put up with my wife and non blood kids and I feel like my strength of carrying the nonsense is decreasing. I am now classed as the grumpy old dad/husband when i know in my heart I am a good human but I feel these selfish, hypocritical succubus' are draining me. 5 children ranging from older teen down to 4 y/o. The job of house husband is a massive task especially due to the standard my wife expects, I'm now having real powerful chest palpitations recently bit today it's the worst its ever been, and feel so overwhelmed and feel tears bubbling beneath the surface all the time. When I try to speak to either my wife or children I know I am making perfect sense, I know that logically and factually my gripes are undeniable but in the face of hormones, damaged soul and childish behaviors, facts and logic mean nothing. I have a huge amount of weight on my shoulders and so many depend on me. I don't even know what I'm asking tbh. I would never ever go thru with ending my life as I couldn't do that to my kids but I'm at the end of my tether. I don't know if anyone has any words or advice or understanding even. I just don't know tbh.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.
Dadsnet
Hi. Little help? Anxiety and situation issue
11 replies
Superdad12345 · 17/05/2019 17:42
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.