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Can you 'see' mess?

(55 Posts)
UnquietDad Thu 19-Jul-07 00:33:00

Supposedly we can't, according to a lot of the "aren't men crap./my DH is a lazy sod" discussions on here.

Some people have suggested it is a Mars/Venus thing - that we genuinely look at it from different perspectives and have different needs when it comes to "tidying up". Others think we just don't "perceive" mess, as if it is at the infra-red end of the spectrum.

I make a distinction between dirt/dust and clutter. I hate the latter - am always moving piles of cups, papers, children's abandoned shoes, etc. - but I'm less likely than DW to clean cobwebs, brush up dust, hoover etc. as i don't think it matters as much.

expatinscotland Thu 19-Jul-07 00:34:07

My DH can't.

Not at all.

chipkid Thu 19-Jul-07 00:37:06

my dh throws all his clothes on the bathroom floor. I have told him that I will only wash what is in the laundry basket-so there is a mad scramble on a Sunday night! He just doesn't see the mess he creates

Pan Thu 19-Jul-07 00:46:29

It's the creative part of us. We just don't see the inconsequentialities.

Tortington Thu 19-Jul-07 00:49:42

creative PMSL

i have become so "creative" a friend of my ds's made an excuse not to stay this evening.

i see it - he sees it - he doesn't rightly care - i give the fuck up - fuck it

Pan Thu 19-Jul-07 00:50:49

you're even easier than me to tease....

Tortington Thu 19-Jul-07 00:52:58

oh mr darcy

BigGitDad Thu 19-Jul-07 11:03:16

Of course we see mess, it just doesn't matter quite so much!
You see there is a priority of things like Sport/hobbies, TV, wine/beer, children, money, cars etc and so on. Mess is one of those down the list.

NotQuiteCockney Thu 19-Jul-07 11:11:40

It's not just men who can't see mess - I am largely oblivious to it.

BigGitDad Thu 19-Jul-07 11:13:07

You do see it NQC, but it does not mean anything to you. You only see the important things in life..

NotQuiteCockney Thu 19-Jul-07 11:14:03

I was raised by wolves.

Seriously, I am not sure whether being able to see it would make my life better or worse. If the place was tidier, I would misplace things less often, but I'd spend more time tidying, which doesn't sound like fun.

harleyd Thu 19-Jul-07 11:16:31

i sit quite happily with clutter building up around me. dh comes home from work and gets rid of it. i let him

UnquietDad Thu 19-Jul-07 11:16:39

maybe a lot depends on your peers. We have friends whose varying approaches to tidiness range across the whole spectrum from anally show-home to laissez-faire never-even-clean-the-bog, so we usually adjust the house to the level of whoever is coming to stay!

BigGitDad Thu 19-Jul-07 11:17:23

Ah! Wolves... I see what you mean. Chimps are messy buggers too. I saw Aggie and Kim have a blue fit once over the chimps enclosure at london Zoo

Kewcumber Thu 19-Jul-07 11:20:49

Funny this. I've always considered myself on the masculine end of the spectrum (like gadgets, research things incessantly before buying, don't like shopping etc) and I have to say I don't really "see" mess. Always surprises me when my mum says - "its a bit messy" because there is stuff on the table or the worktop. Of course I see huge piles of rubbish but genuinely don't notice things lying around otherwise.

of course it's not because I'm masculine - it's because I have my mind on higher things.

foxinsocks Thu 19-Jul-07 11:21:09

if we ever tidy properly, I spend weeks complaining about not being able to find anything.

We live for little bits of paper, scattered round the house in locations I'm aware of, with crucial information written on them. Tidying means those bits of paper get moved and that's a complete disaster!

NotQuiteCockney Thu 19-Jul-07 11:21:43

I am quite butch, but I think the mess thing is down to being raised by wolves. The house I grew up in was like something off the telly, in the bad sense.

BigGitDad Thu 19-Jul-07 11:26:44

Kew, is it your pictures of Jonathan Davies and Gareth Edwards you leave lying around the place that make the mess?
[Thread hijack!]
Are you warming up for the world cup yet? Shirts at the ready? It will be your DS's first one won't it? I'll be looking out for you on this board! (Or hiding!)

BigGitDad Thu 19-Jul-07 11:28:03

Are you hairy NQC? Just wondering if it is a family trait...

NotQuiteCockney Thu 19-Jul-07 11:28:34

I'm not notably hairy. I do also walk upright. Most of the time. :-P

Kewcumber Thu 19-Jul-07 11:30:29

nope, Phil Bennett (my idol, swoon)

BigGitDad Thu 19-Jul-07 11:31:48

NQC, pmsl!

Kewcumber Thu 19-Jul-07 11:32:42

was going to get my bro to buy little gherkin a welsh or scarlets rugby shirt for Xmas but on reflection I should get one for world cup shouldn't I.

England are to get thrashed.

FCH Thu 19-Jul-07 11:33:40

No - this is rubbish - I am with harleyd - I make mess (which I don't have a problem with at all) and DH and our cleaner between them maintain our house at an anal - showhome level of perfection in spite of me

foxinsocks Thu 19-Jul-07 11:36:49

it's the middlesex 7s soon kew - you'll have to take your boy to start getting him indoctrinated in the ways of rugby!

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