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Fiancee hiding credit card debt

15 replies

Youcantpolishatuuurd · 03/04/2019 21:35

Briefly, met lady on OLD. 3 Years together propose and she says yes. I sell my small home and move in with her. All is going well , wedding plans made. Her home needs some TLC so in agreement to having 50/50 share in her property my equity in my sold property is to be used in upgrading and repairing hers. At meeting with the building society she has to declare an £18k credit card debt that I have no prior knowledge of. Bells ring in my head. What else has she hidden or would hide from me ? She knows everything about me. I'm seriously considering cancelling the wedding and leaving. AIBU ?

OP posts:

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stanski · 03/04/2019 21:37

Depends if it's just never come up in conversation or whether it's purposely been withheld ..

Youcantpolishatuuurd · 03/04/2019 21:41

She mentioned a small amount. I don't consider £18k small

OP posts:

DonnaDarko · 03/04/2019 21:45

Did you talk about finances before and make it explicit that you wanted to be transparent about everything? 18k is a lot, I 100% agree, but Is she making payments? If she's managing it responsibily (as much as you can with that much debt) I think YWBU to stop the wedding.

Youcantpolishatuuurd · 03/04/2019 21:46

During the disclosure to the building society she asked me to cover my ears....

OP posts:

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 03/04/2019 21:49

You need to make sure you ringfence your deposit

Youcantpolishatuuurd · 03/04/2019 21:50

Donna , as far as I know she was making minimum payments. Planned to do extra shifts at work to repay it. I worked out it would take 7 years to repay it. Not how I envisaged married life in my late 50s

OP posts:

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 03/04/2019 22:09

So did you hear what she said or has she only admitted to 18K. I’d ask her to run a credit check in your presence.

Is your money the whole deposit or is she contributing part?

TwitterQueen1 · 03/04/2019 22:14

Doesn't her debt become your debt if you marry? Not sure how it works.

Personally it would be an enormous red flag for me and I would seriously reconsider your plans...

TheGodmother · 03/04/2019 23:14

Yes def a red flag!!!

Casimir · 02/05/2019 09:22

You still have the money right? Exit. She has to demonstrate responsibility for loan repayments. 'Cover your ears! ' Not demonstrating.
She will get your money, pay down her debts, get pregnant, you are then the indentured servant. Find a less expensive woman. Go to gym, pick up heavy stuff, put it down, Repeat. Also look for advice on Mens website, not Womens.

HollowTalk · 02/05/2019 09:30

Get out of that relationship. You're in your late fifties and need to be saving money for your future, not getting involved with someone with debts.

SihtricsHorseWitnere · 02/05/2019 09:31

I wouldn't hesitate to bail on this.

HollowTalk · 02/05/2019 09:38

Has your house sale gone through? So you are going to fund her repairs and have a share in her house? Have you thought about what would happen if you wanted to split up? How much would you put in and how much value would it add?

stanski · 04/05/2019 19:35

How did it go OP?

Manclife1 · 01/06/2019 12:17

I’d be backing away slowly if I were you. £18k in debt and made no mention of it during the planning phase. She’s a problem with money and it’ll cost you in the long run.

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