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fathers not allowed to see their children

(15 Posts)
may1940 Tue 12-Feb-19 17:17:50

My sons ex has recently had a baby, we have been told point blank that none of us are allowed to see her, my son met this girl and she got pregnant, then finished with my son as she told him she was gay and has had a girlfriend for the last 6 months, my son is gutted and destroyed by all this plus in the meantime her own father who she lives with has serious mental health issues (he tries to commit suicide at least once a week and has done so for the last few years) I know this cos he puts it on social media, will my son have any rights and will it cost him a fortune through the courts etc ?

Redken24 Sun 17-Feb-19 13:28:34

Is he on the birth certificate?
Definitely his child?
Try mediation first before court.

BIWI Sun 17-Feb-19 13:31:29

What relevance does the mental health of her father have to do with any of this? confused

Is he sure it's his child?

Moominfan Sun 17-Feb-19 13:47:02

Does she live with her father? I'm assuming that's the relevance? First step I'd try mediation and dna test asap

whatsnewchoochoo Sun 17-Feb-19 13:48:18

"Meanwhile her own father who she LIVES with"

Read the OP people

BIWI Sun 17-Feb-19 14:04:42

Yes, I read that! Still wondering why it's relevant ...

RoseAndRose Sun 17-Feb-19 14:07:07

Just how young is the mother? Still at home with parents and described as a girl (not woman)

The child is the one with rights, including that to know both are.

I am assuming your DS is not on the BC, so he will have to apply to the courts for that, and to have PR granted, and to sort out access if that cannot be arranged directly with the mother. I'm nit sure what the current costs would be, but the pale to insignificance when looking at the value of the issues.

I hope he is already honouring his financial reponsibikity to his child, if not, the single most important thing is to get him to do that immediately, it's a catch-up plan for any arrears. If the mother will not accept it, then he should set up a savings vehicle in DC's name and pay it all into that.

AssassinatedBeauty Sun 17-Feb-19 14:19:14

Basically everything that @RoseAndRose has said. If she denies he is the father then he will need to get a dna rest ordered.

He will have to be realistic about contact with a tiny baby - it's best if it's little and often, and without taking the baby away from it's mum.

PixieDust20 Sun 17-Feb-19 14:20:37

Did the girl already have a girlfriend? I'm confused did she just use your son to have a baby? There is lots of legal advice if that is the situation

donajimena Sun 17-Feb-19 14:24:52

You can get a book Family Courts without solicitors (something like that).
He really should pursue contact. It hurts me to this day that my father never even tried. It will be a long road and probably unpleasant given that the woman is adamant that he won't see the child. However the child has the right to see both parents.

may1940 Sun 17-Feb-19 16:59:29

No she didnt but then he doesnt know because not once did she mention she was gay,

may1940 Sun 17-Feb-19 17:03:03

sorry she is a 22 year old woman, she lives with her parents 350 miles away, her father has serious mental issues and tries to commit suicide at least once a month now their other daughter is pregnant she is gay and is 15 years old, he did sent her £500 to help with the costs towards baby things

may1940 Sun 17-Feb-19 17:04:16

because I dont think its healthy for people to live in a house like that anyway

may1940 Sun 17-Feb-19 17:07:50

not sure if it is his child , her father told him he needs a dna test, if it is his child then he would provide for it and would like to see the child

BoneyBackJefferson Wed 20-Feb-19 17:32:47

Get a DNA test and work from there.

But the truth (and its not an MN approved view) is that given the distance and age of the child and other factors he may never be able to see the child.

But it shouldn't stop him from trying.

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