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ex moving in with new guy

(3 Posts)
Edward0 Mon 28-Jan-19 00:46:41

I have recently separated ( 6 months) from the mother of my 2 boys. I am living at my parents while she can get herself a house sorted out and paying all the bills etc to cover her.
She has recently been seeing someone for 3 months, he has a child that he doesn't see and she doesn't know the circumstances.
She is talking about moving in with him next month. I am not comfortable with her doing it, i am not still attached to her but my 2 boys are 2yrs 8 months and 9 months old and i don't want them around someone d know nothing about, and in a different county.
Do i have any say in where she can live, he hasn't even met the boys yet and she wants to live with him.
She doesn't know what he is like with children having never seen him with any.
Anyone been in a similar situation? know what i can do?
at the minute i am seeing them on every day off i have and i go around the house in the mornings ( i work night shift) after work and help her out if she has had a difficult night, the baby isn't sleeping well at the minute. I'm doing everything i can to be reasonable but i dont think this is a good idea.

Smotheroffive Mon 28-Jan-19 00:55:40

I don't think it's necessarily a good idea either. Its a huge worry, it would be to me, that he doesn't see his own DC! Is also not prepared to explain the circumstances!
Also, that its so quick, and, another country, you say? Another country? Your ex wants to move to another country for a guy she met 3 mths ago?
I am sorry to say, from what you've said, it has the hallmarks of an abuser.
I am guessing that you trust your ex, as a good DM to the boys? As a decent woman? I would be worried she is being love bombed.
I think you might be able to use Claire's law to do background checks on him via an application to the police.

I don't know what else you can do, except stay around without making comment on him so she still has someone to confide in or help, if she needs it.

Have you met him

Adam3322 Sat 23-Mar-19 07:47:30

In regard to you helping her out with bills and when she has difficult nights with LO etc. Why? She has met someone else and is happy using you to pay her bills and to get some rest. If she is serious about this man and wants to live with him and the children u need to apply for a child arrangement order so they can explore the situation there , his backround etc. Also they will put a block on her removing the children from the county/country as not in thier best interest. If she wants to swan off with a man shes only known 3 months shes clearly not putting the children first

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