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(61 Posts)
Willie1973 Sun 12-Aug-18 14:52:41

I told my wife of a 3 1/2 year affair. I was seeing a lady who was going through a rough time in her marriage. Her husband moved out back home in October and I was staying round hers 2 or 3 nights a week. She is now going through divorce and said i was the reason . I told my wife that I wanted to end the marriage and pursue the life with the ow . But last week I had a message on Facebook from her ex husband to be . Wanting to know the last time I say her . She accused me of playing mind games and wouldn't answer the phone . So I sent a screenshot of the message. She then called me back straight away and I told her to tell him truth about us . She wouldn't so I told her she needed to if not if he contacted me again I would tell him . So in the end I had told her anoth is anoth I wanted us to be a cpl to do cpl things and I would leave my wife. In the end I had to tell him as he started harassing me . The thing I am struggling is not the break up it's the fact she told him she hasn't see me in 2 1/2 years and is denying it even it's even happened . At witts end because I sent him all the proof he needs I feel I have betrayed her but I think he needed to hear the truth .

Willie1973 Sun 12-Aug-18 15:22:34

Thanks ivy kitty for that well put i know I don't deserve a second chance .

PurpleDaisies Sun 12-Aug-18 15:22:36

And I blocked them both as me and the wife wants to try at making amends she has been honest with me because I came cleaned and owned up even tho it wasn't over

You seem to want congratulations for that.hmm

IAmInsignificunt Sun 12-Aug-18 15:23:31

I don’t get why the denial matters to you?
If you now aren’t going to be together because your wife is giving you a second chance why do you care that the OW is lying her way into saving her marriage?

YeTalkShiteHen Sun 12-Aug-18 15:25:32

So you didn’t come clean did you?

I’m thinking you live under a bridge.

SymphonyofShadows Sun 12-Aug-18 15:26:29

Can you really blame the OW's husband for wanting to know the details of how long you've been fucking his wife? She's a lying cunt so she's not going to tell him. So he won't leave you alone, boo-fucking-hoo. You made your bed and shit in it too, now roll around in it.

Willie1973 Sun 12-Aug-18 15:26:41

Well it was over for me with ow she wouldn't let go

YeTalkShiteHen Sun 12-Aug-18 15:27:12

You have absolutely no respect for women at all.

Willie1973 Sun 12-Aug-18 15:29:22

Her husband has known all along . What she's been doing. It's him who want to know the in and out . I just think he will not leave me and my wife alone until she tells him the truth

YeTalkShiteHen Sun 12-Aug-18 15:30:21

It’s called karma.

Willie1973 Sun 12-Aug-18 15:32:28

My wife has also been contacted by both parties. We just want to move on . She just needs to tell him . It's all about end result of her divorce

PortiaCastis Sun 12-Aug-18 15:32:41

Take a tip sunshine, keep your knob in your pants and then you'll not get into another hideous mess and ruin more lives

SymphonyofShadows Sun 12-Aug-18 15:33:35

I'm not sensing any shame or guilt here. Perhaps he wants to know because he's going to kick the living shit out of you. Not ideal but we all make mistakes...

SexTrainGlue Sun 12-Aug-18 15:33:45

"Excuse me I haven't tried to control anyone"

Bollocks mate. You're trying to control what other woman says to her husband. Cut it out.

YeTalkShiteHen Sun 12-Aug-18 15:33:56

Portia you’d think he’d heed that eh? I doubt it though, men like him never do.

Willie1973 Sun 12-Aug-18 15:35:16

He knows where I lives he even suggested I met him for a coffee . Yes I am full of remorse . It the hardest days of my life ever

YeTalkShiteHen Sun 12-Aug-18 15:37:20

Bet it wasn’t fun for your wife either, and given that she wasn’t complicit in blowing her life apart, my sympathy lies with her.

Willie1973 Sun 12-Aug-18 15:39:00

No it's wasn't nice . Keep kicking I only come to see if anyone had been in this position

Willie1973 Sun 12-Aug-18 15:40:56

All her husband wants to know is the truth . That's all it none of my concern and me and my wife both told him he needs to ask her himself. She won't tell him so he hounds us

YeTalkShiteHen Sun 12-Aug-18 15:41:29

You’ll be waiting a while, you’re quite the piece of work. I don’t know any men who think the way you do, thank god.

Pompom42 Sun 12-Aug-18 15:42:54

I wouldn't worry. If she wants to lie to him about what happened and how long she hasn't been seeing you for etc I wouldn't worry.
Maybe she thinks she will get less money in the divorce settlement if he knows the truth I don't know.
Just concentrate on making amends with your wife and forget what ow is doing or saying.

Willie1973 Sun 12-Aug-18 15:43:18

I am not a bad person because of one mistake.

PurpleDaisies Sun 12-Aug-18 15:44:28

It wasn’t one mistake. It was a continuous string of mistakes lasting three and a half years.

Willie1973 Sun 12-Aug-18 15:45:04

Thank u pompon that's what we are doing .

MapMyMum Sun 12-Aug-18 15:45:13

If it doesnt matter to you anymore then just tell him everything. Stop trying to make out you're taking the moral high ground by not telling him everything about the affair you had with his wife. One message telling him everything and then both you and dw block both of them and move on

Willie1973 Sun 12-Aug-18 16:18:43

Map my mum that's what we have done . So hopefully we can move forward

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