I’m new to this so apologies if what follows is a bit rambling...
A year ago today I got caught having an affair. It had been going on for three months with a woman from work. My found messages on my phone. At that time, I broke all contact with the OW and although my wife kicked me out of the house I vowed to do everything I could to get her back.
I stayed at my parents house until December and then moved in to my place. I got some individual counselling for me in January this year and all through this time I was faithful, even though I knew my wife was seeing other people (which I don’t blame her for). It was this way until around the end of February or early March.
At this point, I had somehow forgotten everything I’d read about needing to give the parter space and time and absolutely no contact with OW. At first we started by talking and just being friends, then there was a drunken kiss and it ended up with us sleeping together again. This basically all happened over the course of about a month or 6 weeks.
Since then, my wife and I have been starting to patch things up but I was still friends with OW and I hadn’t told my wife. The next bit is obvious... a couple of weeks ago she found out about the OW still being in contact with me when she called me one night when we were together, after a really nice date in fact.
What makes it worse, is that I lied to try to save my arse (I tried to convince her we just kissed) then deleted all OW messages when my wife asked to see them and went on to wipe of stuff so my wife couldn’t recover it.... I basically tried to bury the thing that was about to ruin everything I was trying so hard to rebuild.
To get to the point, because I didn’t think about wtf I was doing and the impact it would on my wife I have put us back to day 1. She says it’s worse that I lied and I see that.
I have broken off contact with OW again. I love my wife. How do I stop being this man that can’t see the impact of my actions and tells lies.
Am I deluding myself that I have a chance at changing and getting my wife back? I know many other people on MumsNet (men and women) are on the other side of this thread and the advice to them is clear and very often LTB, would value your view too as someone that has made too many mistakes but wants to do better.
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How do I stop this
45 replies
Lookingfortruth · 17/07/2018 02:13
OP posts:
Lordfarcroft ·
18/07/2018 14:18
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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