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Sexual frustration

(15 Posts)
Blackbinsack Mon 14-May-18 20:41:42

I’m a girl here just wanted some
Male advice. Been with my partner 3 years and the sex is pretty non existent. He works really long hours and really hard so I understand his down time alone is important. I try really hard I give him blow jobs I dress up I get on top for all of it I sext him dosnt work he just seems
So un enthusiastic. I’ve mentioned it before loads it got so bad I threatened to walk away he cried said what could he do he dosnt want to be this tired. When sex does happen it’s amazing he could be a bit more dominant but i understand not everyone is. I’ve stopped nagging for sex a year ago I stopped trying it on I’ve tried it on what do I do any guys out there

skoda62 Tue 15-May-18 10:17:51

Coincidence you have posted this, as there's a similar post in the relationships discussion. See What to do if your desperate for sex - but single of a certain age?

Tried counselling? As you have stated, he doesn't want to be this tired. So how old is he? Why is he working long hours? Will whatever he is doing grind-to-a-halt if he shortens them? Unfortunately, lots of men (and women) are in a high pressure career that pays well, but requires the long hours commitment. Years back, I was also in a job that entailed long hours. Coming home all hours of the night, collapsing in bed. Then when trying for sex, so tired it failed.

I think the answer may be to choose a time every week when he's not working. Weekends? Does he work weekends? If not, could be a good place to start? Have house free, shopping done, telly off, no distractions. Then spend time in bed. Us men are usually most horny in the morning after a good nights sleep. Also treatment for ED may help? Its widely available online. No longer need to see your doctor for prescription. Just tick the self diagnostic boxes, tick the T's & C's box, and your away! Just be careful where ordering from. There's a lot of foreign sites selling cheaply. Can't be trusted. I get mine from a UK based company with contact details should anything go wrong.

TammySwansonTwo Tue 15-May-18 10:19:51

He sounds very much like me, and in my case it’s down to medical issues and hormones. Has he always been like this, or did it change? Is his exhaustion disproportionate? If I were him I would see a doctor and request some blood tests.

Blackbinsack Tue 15-May-18 21:51:51

Haven’t tried counselling that’s my next step. He’s not a morning person so weekend mornings are never good or weekends. he’s just always so tired and if sex gets suggested he always brings up something more important that I could be doing. He then breaks down saying he does want sex but can’t.

skoda62 Tue 15-May-18 22:50:28

If he can't, then why not try ED treatment? Like I posted, widely available without prescription on the internet. But why is so tired when not working? Most of us usually chill out after a long rest. I think both of you need to see your doctor together, as well as counselling

Blackbinsack Wed 16-May-18 19:57:23

Because he dosnt have erectile dysfunction and buying mess of the internet isn’t something I want to do. I’ve suggested counselling as are next step and then he can go to the doctor a so don’t need to

skoda62 Thu 17-May-18 07:35:17

Because he dosnt have erectile dysfunction and buying mess of the internet isn’t something I want to do

If fact, with UK pharmacies your not buying mess. I get Cialis from one without any problems. But when you stated he can't do it, assumed that ED was the cause of the problem. Anyway, hope this problem gets resolved?

LewisSTV Wed 06-Jun-18 11:46:09

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

decentchap Sun 26-Aug-18 09:16:06

I'm assuming he doesnt have a friend with benefits ?
In which case, he is like most men - usually full of self -doubt and anxiety. Anyone else tells this isnt true isnt being honourable. As you say he isnt adventurous or demanding. I suspect the issue is confidence and a nagging wife wont help. You should perhaps try and understand why he's so lacking in confidence to be sexually demanding. If its libido - I would advise the docs. some men experience a lack of hormones especially through stress elsewhere in their lives. A holiday, even camping might break his routine to the point of helping.
In the end you may have to make a choice - arrange a doctors appointment and tell him explicitly that for fulfillment you need sex - you'd rather have it with him but he must get help or you'll have to examine whether you can live a life partially fulfilled . Your situation is not new or unique - neither is his. People have worked out compromises where there is imbalance in sexual drive for ages. You simply do what you need to do but do think about how you might feel faced with any options you want to put to him.

Glovesick Tue 25-Sep-18 23:31:29

Could he be gay?

Blameanamechange Tue 25-Sep-18 23:36:12

Know you are asking men but a friend if mine was similar and turned out unbeknown to his dw for ages that he was depressed but still held down a job etc so wasnt obvious.

noego Thu 27-Sep-18 16:53:07

If it isn't physical (you say its amazing when you do have sex) then it must be psychological.

Go tantric.

NvHealth70 Sat 06-Oct-18 23:26:57

Hi, I've come to the conclusion, male or female, the problems are the same. I'm a man with the same frustrations as you. Whenever I google how I feel it's mainly women with the same problems, sexual frustration, feel like a commodity, no affection. Sorry, don't know the answer but there's loads of people feeling the same, me one of them. I've concluded my wife must feel all the time the same as I do after I've cum, not interested in sex. I have two sons so focus on the fact I can not imagine life without living with them so finally accept the lack of sex and affection is no sacrifice compared to living without my kids. I like the idea of no strings attached sex with someone interested but being a dad is relentless and I have no excuse to be away. Sorry no answer but you're far from being alone.

Avenellroad Sat 06-Oct-18 23:31:50

He works really long hours?


Sounds like he is getting it elsewhere.

I'd check that out

Sethis Sat 06-Oct-18 23:33:34

Zombie thread. It's dated May.

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