First of all, new poster here, so Hi to all on the board!
I'm in a similar situation to SoulDad and have to say he is spot on in that keeping contact with your ex will only prolong things. I split from my ex of 7 years in November, lost my home, life, and the only thing I have left is my Daughter who I'm 50/50 with. I'm now kipping at my Mum's (sigh) until our old house is sold and I can use the equity to move on.
Since then I have remained in close contact with my ex, she's asked me to hang out, do things together, told me she feels lost without me etc. but is actually seeing someone else while all this is going on. Feelings have remained on both sides but from her point of view I think it was more loneliness or fear of losing me entirely. From mine it was hope that we could work things out.
Unfortunately this led to more arguments and only now have I began to accept things. She decided she wanted to split when our Daughter turned 1 because the relationship had become dull, which was and still is very hard to take, especially when no steps were taken to spice up the relationship. It dawned on me just yesterday this has been going on for 5 months and yet I'm still feeling lower than ever, which is just ridiculous, but because I miss my old life so much, having a house to keep in order, having a family around me, it was easy to be blinded by love/hope and keep the closeness going.
Anyway yesterday I told her enough is enough and we've to keep our distance, and I feel awful for it . Very lost and empty. So I''ve been browsing here and Netmums a lot (!) looking for advice and inspiration. We were best friends as well as life partners, and it feels like I won't get the same again.
One thing I would say Truckamatt, is to consider how you would feel if your ex began seeing someone else, and you still feel attached and not wanting to let go. This is what has happened to me and it's incredibly difficult to accept, especially with a little one involved.
Hope things do work out for you but if not, as hard as it is (trust me, I know) attempting to move on may be best. Just have to have some blind faith that things will work out for ourselves.