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(7 Posts)
Truckamatt Mon 26-Feb-18 07:27:05

Hi. Just recently split up from my oh and sons mum. She always has and always will be the love of my life. I work away all week so see my son on a weekend. Is it nornal to feel like i dont wanna be with anybody else. Im quite happy been single as my son will always come first. Plus i dont want to get over oh. Also im giving her nearly everything so she can keep roof over her head and whatnot. I know thats stupid but in a way shes got the upper hand with having my son. Not arguing about it just dont want to see anything happen to her and the boys. They will always come first

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow Mon 26-Feb-18 07:40:56

What's your point op?
Yes it's normal when you have recently split. Times a great healer, etc etc. Just carry on with your life and one day you will find you've moved on.
(Btw, have you one son or more, you say both)

SoulDad Mon 26-Feb-18 11:15:26

My oh split up with me just before Christmas last year after 8 years together, she moved to another town with my daughter. It still hurts now months later, only less so. I feel alive again whenever I have my daughter to stay.

You just have to let go, no other way. Try to have no / limited contact with your ex (except for contact about your son), this gives you chance to adjust to your new life. If you try to see / speak / convince her to come back, you'll only feel terrible. It's hard to move on but given time it is possible.

Truckamatt Mon 26-Feb-18 19:57:48

She has a 15 yo son which i classed as mine. Dont wanna seem tight but dont wanna be a mug either. I will always want her but our son comes first.

Mini2017 Wed 04-Apr-18 10:51:10

You are a good dad and you putting your son first and he will no doubt appreciate you for that. But, you also deserve to be happy. Take your time. Time is a great healer

AndyNW85 Fri 06-Apr-18 10:47:02

First of all, new poster here, so Hi to all on the board!

I'm in a similar situation to SoulDad and have to say he is spot on in that keeping contact with your ex will only prolong things. I split from my ex of 7 years in November, lost my home, life, and the only thing I have left is my Daughter who I'm 50/50 with. I'm now kipping at my Mum's (sigh) until our old house is sold and I can use the equity to move on.

Since then I have remained in close contact with my ex, she's asked me to hang out, do things together, told me she feels lost without me etc. but is actually seeing someone else while all this is going on. Feelings have remained on both sides but from her point of view I think it was more loneliness or fear of losing me entirely. From mine it was hope that we could work things out.

Unfortunately this led to more arguments and only now have I began to accept things. She decided she wanted to split when our Daughter turned 1 because the relationship had become dull, which was and still is very hard to take, especially when no steps were taken to spice up the relationship. It dawned on me just yesterday this has been going on for 5 months and yet I'm still feeling lower than ever, which is just ridiculous, but because I miss my old life so much, having a house to keep in order, having a family around me, it was easy to be blinded by love/hope and keep the closeness going.

Anyway yesterday I told her enough is enough and we've to keep our distance, and I feel awful for it . Very lost and empty. So I''ve been browsing here and Netmums a lot (!) looking for advice and inspiration. We were best friends as well as life partners, and it feels like I won't get the same again.

One thing I would say Truckamatt, is to consider how you would feel if your ex began seeing someone else, and you still feel attached and not wanting to let go. This is what has happened to me and it's incredibly difficult to accept, especially with a little one involved.

Hope things do work out for you but if not, as hard as it is (trust me, I know) attempting to move on may be best. Just have to have some blind faith that things will work out for ourselves.

Scorpvenus1 Mon 17-Jun-19 11:46:40

I commend this.

Your not on dating sites looking for CF people and wasting peoples time. I commend you!!!!!

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