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Daddy to be advice

(7 Posts)
Daddy2bee Mon 13-Jun-16 09:48:33

Hey all,

So I'm new around here and just found out that my fiancé is 4 weeks pregnant.. I'm looking for some advice on how to deal with my anxiety during the first trimester if at all possible!

I suffer with anxiety which really doesn't help, but I just cannot stop panicking and worrying with it being such early days. As much as I'm trying not to get excited I just really can't help it, not matter how much I try to keep it in check. I'm trying not to worry my fiancé with my anxieties, but as I shouldn't tell anyone post 12 weeks I'm really struggling with it all.. I reallllly need to vent my anxieties but have noone to vent them too.

So, here's the big question.. how did you deal with it? Was there anything you did or read that helped you take your mind off things a bit? Did you also try and contain any excitement or just go with the flow? I know that what will be will be, but I feel on the verge of a mental breakdown right now haha.

Well typing that out has helped a bit at least smile.

Cheers all

Sarahwx23 Mon 13-Jun-16 13:15:56

Hi congrats! My sons now 2 coming on 3 and I'll tell you I was exactly the same through the whole pregnancy I found it very very hard and didn't really come to terms with it all so when he arrived I was in utter shock but now it's the best thing that's happened, the only real advice I can give is through the pregnancy just read up on things and just let yourself come to terms with it it may take some time but uve got a whole 9 months just enjoy it is all I can really say 😊
Hope I helped (a bit) 😊

ordinaryman Sat 25-Jun-16 11:05:26

It's natural to worry loads, especially with the first.

Just try to keep a hold of some level of normality (work, hobbies, getting out of the house, etc.) and not let the whole thing consume you.

You'll be much more relaxed for the second one! smile

TomVeiga Tue 16-Aug-16 18:02:49

Talk to your doctor. Fluoxitine will help with anxiety.

Illstartexercisingtomorrow Fri 16-Sep-16 00:26:29

Anti anxiety meds definitely worth looking into. I get it you are feeling so many things and it is hard to know how to process it but trust me the last thing your dp needs is a highly strung stressed out version of you. Look after yourself so that you can look after her.

Treddy1982 Fri 03-Feb-17 17:28:45

Hey everyone,
Well as the story goes I'm going to be a biological daddy to a boy. You probably noticed how I stared 'biological', the thing is, I have a daughter who is 9 in a few months and I've been with her and my wife just before she turned 3. I love her so much but when we told her she was going be a big sis to a boy her reaction was anything but expected. She has had the high life as the only child for so long that she gave up wanting a sibling and is content as the only. You see, my wife and I have had a rather emotional roller coaster ride to get this far (16weeks), we've had 7 miscarriages ranging from 4-10weeks along. Each and everyone of them broke my wife's willingness to keep trying a little each time and this one was to be the final shot for me to have my own child. So this is what my little girl doesn't comprehend. We never told her why those times mummy was in pain and crying so she doesn't understand that we have tried to give her a sibling but it's taken this long for it to come to fruition.
Ok, I'm rambling, I'm concerned and so is my little girl that I'll treat my baby differently to the way I treated her. Rules for one but not the other. A favorite I guess. With Chelsea there has always been a limit to the level of discipline I was able to use. I'm sure you understand what I mean by that. So anyone who's taken on the dad role to another persons child and grew to love them as much as you could imagine it would be if they were your biological, then introduced a baby to the home thats your blood, does it feel different? Do you find yourself being harder on your step child and lenient on your own?
If so, how would one go about rectifying that and not having any unintentional sibling resentment?


confusedat23 Wed 08-Feb-17 13:56:49

Hi Treddy I think the problem here is that in tv shows and books etc it is always highlighted to young people that if you are the "step" sibling you will be treated differently. This may be the case in some relationships but not others.

I would recommend that you try and involve her as much in the whole process and focus less on the fact it is your first biological child and more that it is her first sibling!

Things you can include her in are:
- The announcement (Maybe she could announce having a sibling as opposed to you having a child)
- Picking the name
- Choosing clothes etc... would it be worth giving her a small budget and letting her pick things she can give the baby when it arrives

Then once the baby is here you can make sure you get quality father daughter time away from the baby as well as getting her to help out with the bathing, changing and feeding of the baby.

I am sure there will be moments when she has a meltdown but you just need to reassure her that mummy and daddy love them both equally and that will never change no matter how many siblings she has smile

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