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Guilt on seperation

(2 Posts)
Vivalaviva Mon 11-Jan-16 09:10:52

Myself and my wife split recently, after a couple of years drifting apart, numerous attempts at giving things a go, me just falling out of love and feeling I was in the wrong marriage and unhappy despite a decent life, home and settled and happy children.
We had been together 15+ years and kids still young. I have moved to a new house locally and we share the time equally with the kids.
I am having almost debilitating feelings of guilt, loss and loneliness in missing my kids and not seeing them everyday, and thinking about the impact upon them. They are coping relatively well, with a few wobbles, but I know they just long for mum and dad to get back together and it'd make them so happy. I care for my wife as the mother of my kids, I used to love our lifestyle which I have now lost due to having to continue help paying the mortgage whilst renting a new place, but just do not love her and despite her best efforts and promises that she has changed, cannot get the feelings back I once had long ago. Too much water under the bridge, it's like I have woken up to everything that was wrong in our marriage.
But I have an overwhelming sadness that I have difficulty shaking, sometimes feel my life is falling apart. My friends have been rubbish on the whole, I think they thing I am mad, and just aren't particularly supportive. Really really struggling and just don't know what to do grin(

ordinaryman Wed 13-Jan-16 11:51:10

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time of it. I can understand. My wife and I are like strangers these days and I can see us splitting if we can't resolve it, so I have agonised over the same things.
Most of the advice I have had on forums such as these is a) don't stay together 'for the sake of the kids' and b) don't stay if the love has gone.
The question I ask myself, is would I stay if we didn't have kids and the answer is certainly "no". If your answer is the same, perhaps you did the right thing?

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