DP Discreet pleasure

(11 Posts)
incubus Mon 13-Jul-15 02:57:56

Wondering whether you would be offended to find your DP discreetly pleasuring themselves instead of having sex?

When asked about the subject in the past they deny doing it or make out its been a long time.

It's not that I begrudge it, however I would rather be involved or be the one satisfying those urges...

Any thoughts?

wafflyversatile Mon 13-Jul-15 03:08:17

How long without sex?

Masturbation and sex are not the same thing. There is room for both I think.

It would depend on the context.

incubus Mon 13-Jul-15 03:12:52

There is always rooms for both, I would for instance have sex everyday more than once if possible.

Failing that I would resort to self pleasure, however if the other person is amorous I would have hoped they would come and raise the issue to enjoy opposed to doing it solo discreetly.

differentnameforthis Mon 13-Jul-15 03:57:16

It depends on the circumstances doesn't it. Quite often it isn't workable to just have sex at the drop of a hat, so masturbation can be easier/quicker.

Sometimes you just need it to be quick & can achieve that better by yourself.

I wouldn't be offended if dh needed to do it when circumstances didn't permit us to intimate.

BUT I would be pissed if it was his go to every.time. instead of being intimate with me. I would wonder why he didn't want that intimacy with me.

Best thing to do is bite the bullet & ask!

Also, just because you are happy to have sex daily, or more, doesn't mean your partner has to be.

incubus Mon 13-Jul-15 04:06:46

I concur with what you have said above.

If it were less regular would you be concerned that your DP's default was to turn to self pleasure versus wanting to be with their partner?

differentnameforthis Mon 13-Jul-15 04:30:14

Less regular than what? Our "norm"

I dunno...as long as I felt that we were intimate often enough, I wouldn't be bothered.

He can be belting one out everyday for all I care, because I KNOW that when the opportunity presents itself, his default is to come to me. When that isn't possible (in the morning with kids running around etc), if he decides to lock himself in the shower...who I am to complain?

Drew64 Wed 15-Jul-15 14:53:54

I love knowing that my DW has had a cheeky bit of 'discrete pleasure' and vice versa.
It sets us up for a naughty night or teases and winds us up for another night.

Toadinthehole Sat 18-Jul-15 01:04:54

No I wouldn't mind.

Except, that is, if some 70s funk started playing in the background as I'd be worried that someone was filming us.

inastew Fri 22-Apr-16 12:44:12

I am curious - is Incubus male of female?

", I would have sex everyday more than once if possible."
WOW.

Dewhirst235 Thu 12-May-16 08:28:23

Inastew - I'm pretty sure that an Incubus is supposed to be male, and a Succubus is a female, but to be honest with the fact Incubus wants to have sex multiple times a day I would definitely say he's a guy.

I don't see a problem with a bit of Discreet Pleasure, I have a higher sex drive than my other half, so at least I am 'sorting myself out' rather than getting someone to do it for me.

Also, and rather annoyingly, my partner seems to have her 'peak' libido urges in a morning when she wakes up, and I am generally already on my way, if not at work, so she 'sorts herself out' too sometimes.

ordinaryman Wed 18-May-16 20:56:01

My wife and I are have a more or less sexless marriage, as she is not interested and makes zero effort.

My point though, is that when I challenge her about her low libido, she claims she's fine in that regard and rolls her own quite regularly.

I don't know this to be true (and am hurt if it is, as like the OP, I would like to have frequent sex with her) but if it is, maybe it's a lesson that the more she gets used to getting off without the hassle of a man being involved, there may be no way back for joint fun.

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