A professional pants fitting service

[TiggyD]

My pants today were a nightmare. I think they must have gone wrong in the wash or something. In the morning they seemed fine and everything seemed snug and cosy as a winter's afternoon in front of a log fire with a hot chocolate and sheepskin mono-slipper. In the afternoon however, the back of my pants kept sliding down and under and generally acting as a buttock hammock and exposing my bare cheeks to unpleasant downward draughts. Further down and towards the front, the gusset width seemed to shrink leaving me in constant worry of a testicular popout. Regular rearrangement was needed the whole afternoon which wasn't easy in a room full of women.

How come women have all kinds of bra sizes to accommodate their chesty substances, and specialist bra fitters in shops while us men have to cope with medium/large/Xlarge/XXlarge/XXXXXXlarge for our booty and our protuberances? When are M&S going to start offering a decent pants fitting service?

[MoreBeta]

I think Jeremy Paxman had a similar set of issues. I suggest you choose a different pant supplier.

I moved over to Calvin Klein for this reason. Problem is that all the ladies can see my waist band poking out over my jeans when I do bell ringing and they rib me mercilessly about it. I am getting really quiet self conscious about it. I know its not a common problem but it really cramps my ringing style too.

I assume your problem is that you are getting quite a bit of 'builder's cleavage' which could be quite an occupational hazard and disconcerting to the customers and other staff at your nursery?

[TiggyD]

I never thought how Calvin Klein underthings would affect bell ringers before.

I avoid the arse crack issue. I've found shirts with quite long tails that seem to cover the crack sufficiently. The trouble with trying new pants is that you can't try them on first, or return them if they don't work out for you. Maybe we could organise some men's groups where local men can meet to try on each other's pants? Tea and biscuits provided?

[MoreBeta]

"Maybe we could organise some men's groups where local men can meet to try on each other's pants? Tea and biscuits provided?"

I think I might need something a little stronger before I tried that.

[TiggyD]

I think I should have posted this somewhere else for better traffic.

I'm assuming Calvin Kline's pants are quite expensive. I'm not keen on splashing out on pants. It's not often they'll get seen.

Maybe I could go without any pants at all? I'm sure I've heard tales of such a thing being done before.

Not tried drawing them on Voyage. Did once colour my leg black through a hole in my trousers to disguise the hole.

[TiggyD]

Just found a great way of disguising builders', or in this case Plumbers', crack.

static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/plumbers-crack1__605.jpg

[PacificDogwood]

Made to measure underkecks

You're v welcome.

Otoh, you could stick with that t-shirt - loverly

[AlpacaPicnic]

[AlpacaPicnic]

And just to point out that all the bra size options just make it easier to be wrong. Just when we adjust our bosoms back into a bra it looks - not unattractive...

[JoanHickson]

Shameless place marking.

[Honeydragon]

Are we talking pants or the man equivalent of the boy shorts women wear?

[elQuintoConyo]

Someone wrote 'hung like an elephant' and my MNradar pinged!

[Honeydragon]

The novelty range at Sports Direct get surprisingly good feedback fom gentlemen I am associated with. I believe the firetrap ones are popular too

[Arsenic]

the man equivalent of the boy shorts women wear?

Trunks Honeydragon?

What other alerts have you got set up Conyo?

[ChippingInGluggingOn]

Do you need help with the measuring Tiggy? [Wink]

[Honeydragon]

arent trunks for elephants, swimming and 1930's boarding schools?

[Honeydragon]

OMFG!!!!!

Tiggy WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

I'm now randomly getting an add for crotchless fucking pants come up on this page.

WHY?

[Arsenic]

I might be able to weave swimming into my mental image. Elephants have already been touched upon. Boarding schools, definitely not.

[Honeydragon]

Da fuq?!

[Honeydragon]

Jury's still out on me Mermaid, I can neither confirm nor deny.

[Arsenic]

Might just be you Honey?

[Arsenic]

The crotchless articles I mean. Fess up, what've you been googling?

[Honeydragon]

Erm.... I last went on La Redoute to order some boots for dd, not kinky ones, school boots.

I have not googled crotchless.


Why is Google forming this conclusion?

Why?