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Legal advice on child custody please!

(9 Posts)
Robbiesixty7 Wed 28-Jan-15 19:16:27

I am looking for where my legal standing would be if my soon to be sixteen year old daughter came to live with me full time. At the moment she spends her time split between me and her mum and I pay maintenance through an agreement with her mum and not through the CSM. I have never missed a payment in fourteen years and I am not looking to receive any money for maintenance if my daughter was with me full time.
My daughters mum is now married (I was never married to her) and has 3 other young children all below the age of 6 and she rarely has time for my daughter. Which means that I do ALL the usual running around and taking and collecting her from various activities, I always take her on holiday which her mother has done only once in sixteen years and that was when my daughter was two! My daughter also spends every school holiday with me.
My daughter wants to stay with me and has told her mum that she will leave home when she is sixteen and that she will be living with me. To be honest, i think her mum is only worried about losing the maintenance money and possibly child support although like I have already mentioned, i am not interested in claiming anything from her. I already pay for on top of maintenance the majority of my daughter’s clothes, shoes, activities and just about everything else!
I just want to know where I stand if my daughter does come to me and I stop the payments to her mum. I will put these maintenance payments into a savings account in my daughter’s name.

Unfortunately I am not classed as a "responsible parent" as my daughter was born before 2003 and although I am on the birth certificate, this doesn't make me by law a "responsible parent"

Does anyone have a similar story or know where I legally stand?
Thank you.

TheGirlWhoPlayedWithFire Wed 28-Jan-15 19:21:04

At 16 your daughter can decide where she lives. Courts are unlikely to go against your daughters decision unless there are concerns for your daughters welfare while on your care. I assume there are no concerns so your daughter can move in with you.

You can apply for parental responsibility if you want too.

TheGirlWhoPlayedWithFire Wed 28-Jan-15 19:21:40

And if she does move in please stop the payments through the CMS.

HappyGoLuckyGirl Wed 28-Jan-15 19:22:32

What do you mean, a responsible parent?

IMO, if she's 16 it's up to her where she lives. Mum can't do anything about it at that point.

You won't be legally obliged to pay her mother maintenance as your daughter is not living with her. YY to putting the maintenance into a bank account for your daughter.

Robbiesixty7 Wed 28-Jan-15 20:48:17

Thank you for your replies.

as I understand it, the law states that she can leave home at sixteen but only with the consent of the responsible parent. Unfortunately I never realised this until recently and her mum would not agree to me applying now (she needs to sign the form in court) as she knows that my daughter will move straight in with me and she would loose maintenance payments, which is all she is concerned with. This is why I was wondering what would happen if she moved in anyway and I stopped the payments as I believe it wouldn't be lawful.
There are no concerns for my daughters safety, quite the opposite. She has more fun, more friends and participates in lots of activities whilst with me but just sits in her bedroom at her mums.

HappyGoLuckyGirl, FYI a responsible parent is the legal term for a parent who makes decisions on their child such as what school they attend and where they live etc. If a parent is on the birth cert after Jan 2003 then they are automatically referred to as a responsible parent. If the child was registered before this date then unfortunately a form needs to be signed in court by both parents to allow them to make joint decisions on their child. As previously stated, I wasn't aware of this and I can't see my daughters mum turning up in court to sign.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Wed 28-Jan-15 21:04:05

The term is parental responsibility, not a responsible parent. The meanings are quite different.

If your daughter is 16 she doesn't need her mother's permission to live with you.

TheGirlWhoPlayedWithFire Wed 28-Jan-15 21:10:09

OP - you mean parental responsibility not responsible parent.

If you registered the child and are on the birth certificate, and your daughter wants to live with you there's actually very little your ex could do to prevent it.

Not having PR doesn't mean she can't live with you and it's very easy to obtain.

However as I have already said - your daughter is 16 she can say where she wants to live and you can stop CMS payments, once she lives with you. Just ring them and tell the CMS.

You can go and get PR - just apply to the court with a certified copy of her original certificate. The mothers signature may not be necessary in light of the birth cert.

Or go to your local family court - they normally hold a half day advising on such matters. Give them a call, see what they say. Either way your daughter can move in with you now.

WannaBe Wed 28-Jan-15 21:16:33

you don't need your ex's responsibility to apply for parental responsibility. As your name is on the birth certificate there is no reason why you wouldn't be granted it.

Your dd can legally come and live with you at sixteen anyway and the courts wouldn't do anything about it, but if you wanted to cover yourself then you should apply for parental responsibility now.

Robbiesixty7 Wed 28-Jan-15 21:25:25

Thank you all, you have all been very helpful. I will contact my local family court tomorrow and see what they say.

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