3 month old dad(9 Posts)
So its Monday and its my night, as in DW is not here so its just me and DS who currently is fast asleep. So I thought I'd share stuff that I don't have any friends to share with who will appreciate this.
I am a brand new father, even though I've been a dad for 3 months. So I don't know everything, I don't claim to. I haven't talked to anyone about what it feels like to be a father at all. Abroad its not that easy. For example I would love to share not just the hard times, but the cool times too.
I think we have a perfect son. He is already quite good at sleeping almost through the entire night, even though he is only 3 months. It was really fucking stressful in the first 2 months, when I came from work and DW was holding him and he was happy. I took him, and he started hysterics. I was, until last week, convinced he hated me I couldn't understand, whether my holding was different to my DWs. Since last week we have grown up and have started laughing, smiling and giggling. Daddy is now interesting.
For the first two months I was terrified of failing. I assumed, not anymore, that a mother knows best and if I had to change the nappy or do anything, it would be done when DW was not near by, as I was convinced that as a mother she knows better and will inspect what I do. But I still did everything that I could apart from breastfeeding. After all, she carried him for 9 months.
The birth itself was amazing. We watched One Born Every Minute, and managed 3 seasons before we ended up in the hospital. Contractions started at 4pm, hospital at 5pm and DS came out at 9pm. Birth was not in UK. But there was just me, DW, and a MW. But what was amazing is that despite the language barrier with the MW, I was expected to participate and I did. I changed the sheet under DW, held her other leg, and talked to her. It was very hands on.
Then 3 days in hospital waiting for the strict doctor to decide whether we can go home. Waking up at 6am to go hospital, then going home for the quiet hour, and coming back to leave at 9pm.
I have learned how to calm him down. White noise work wonders. Sometimes techno music also helps, not sure whether its because he hates it and decides to fall asleep to avoid it, or its very rhythmic for him. Or monotonous.
My previous post maybe came across very much weird and not entirely clear. I just need to talk. Sorry for long post.
I was disappointed that at birth I didn't cry, like everyone I saw in One Born Every Minute...
Neither did DW. Yet we recently watched the John Lewis advert, with the penguin, and were both sobbing.
I didn't cry after I gave birth, well maybe when the bitch doctor poked my fanny to assess the carnage without anaesthetic. Sounds like you are both doing a great job with a lovely baby
By the way mumsnet has an endless tolerance for baby chat, you might want to head to other boards too not just dadsnet, gender of posters is not relevant
For the first two months I was terrified of failing. I assumed, not anymore, that a mother knows best and if I had to change the nappy or do anything, it would be done when DW was not near by, as I was convinced that as a mother she knows better and will inspect what I do.
Agreed, I came to realize that there is no female mystery to it, if anything all the 'dads are shit adverts for products' wind me up now. DW expressed as he wouldn't latch very well so got to do and continue to do lots of feeding to help cement that shared bond.
I absolutely didn't want it to be the situation where crying baby only consolable by DW.
I love coming home and little man puts his hands up to me.
I did cry at birth though was joyous and I don't usually cry, didn't cry at mums funeral.
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