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Disney Dads

(37 Posts)
Daddelion Mon 12-Nov-12 06:12:21

I'd never heard of Disney Dads until I joined MN.

I must admit it's not a term I much like.

I wonder if people realise the effect

Of going from seeing your children every day to every other weekend,

Of a new man appearing and seeing your children a lot more than you.

Of worrying that you'll gradually be faded out of your children's lives.

I think Disenfranchised Dads would be a better name.

Fortyshadesofgreen Mon 19-Nov-12 13:10:05

Sorry Daddelion can't help with an answer there.

Once seperated all my parenting skills became questioned as was every element of my character. My ex was doing so much 'gaslighting' that she was a concern for global warming experts.... ;-)

See I did learn from that definition !

Its not right by any stretch... but it is commonly touted that "mummy knows best".

It takes them to be really really awful before any concerns from a father are given any weight whatsoever from my experience.

GetAllTheThings Mon 19-Nov-12 14:21:41

forty yes , I experienced it first hand to a degree, I kept having to say to my XP ' I am her dad you know, she does have a right to see her own father'

In the first 10 days of the split I didn't see my dd once as my ex said 'oh I've been really busy this week so you can't see dd as I want to spend time with her'

It takes a lot of restraint not to go ballistic when someone starts dictating how much you can see your own child.

My one 0.33ltr evening after work beer suddenly became a drinking problem, all the times I'd looked after my dd on my own were all forgotten.

The killer was when I was told, when trying to organize more time in the week with dd, that nursery rhyme class was more important than time with daddy.

Peterpan101 Mon 19-Nov-12 20:00:35

Very little in this world is more important than a capable and devoted NRP spending time with his/her child......that is why the RP some times feels the need to tarnish the NRP.

Think we could all come out with many examples where the former partner has behaved unreasonable to our I am sure the other side could match. I wish people could stop feeling the need to undermine the other partner!!

Forty, not heard: "hoovering"? sure it isn't the result of a hate filled predictive-text explosion where the coven member meant: "helicoptering"??.....a term meaning to hover over said children just in case they might need adult supervision and so never leave them to play by themselves???.......god look at that outburst!!??

Fortyshadesofgreen Tue 20-Nov-12 13:48:06

Sorry PeterP you have another phrase to learn - its basically the victim of abuse being sucked back in to a situation because the abuser exhibits 'temporary' changes. Hence 'hoovering'.

I think thats what it is anyway.

Of course a balanced viewpoint might say - there are problems, other party changes BUT this is the still the cycle of abuse ?

It depends on viewpoints used - but if someone deems they are being abused, or others tell them they are being abused - I am not talking DV here. Then it would seem logical that the only way to break the 'cycle of abuse' is to leave them anyway, as if they do change this is probably only 'hoovering' and they are still abusing - just in a different way. Hmmm its confusing.

There will be others who know much better than I.

Peterpan101 Tue 20-Nov-12 16:42:04

The 'others' being the passive aggressive abusers pointing the fingers in the first place!? stay single and devote my time and effort to my DD?!!

GetAllTheThings Tue 20-Nov-12 17:15:47

"L'enfer, c'est les autres,"

hell is other people grin

SilkySilky Sun 25-Nov-12 21:24:49

OK, my hands are up, I had NEEVR heard this phrase before.

Guessed it was like "well Dad disnae make me go to bed at 7,
Dad disnae stop me watching this film".

Every day is a school day here. Always learning ;-)

GetAllTheThings Mon 26-Nov-12 10:01:22

I'm guessing your Scottish silky grin

GetAllTheThings Mon 26-Nov-12 10:01:30

you're !

SilkySilky Tue 01-Jan-13 22:48:56

Was sent this explanation today, and remembered this thread....

^Disney Dad
A weekend father that let's his children do anything they want when they visit. Also gives them anything they want creating very spoiled kids under the premise of not wanting them to be mad at him. Often the children boss the dad around even yelling at him with no reprisals.^

Xenia Wed 02-Jan-13 21:54:20

And we should change the law to force men to have children with them for 50% of the time so that this Disney D concept does not arise and both parents do their share of washing, homework and the like.

Peterpan101 Thu 03-Jan-13 18:31:55

Ha ha ha ha ha......good joke Xenia.

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