life with first child.... (or not?)(3 Posts)
Hi, I hope no one minds me asking this in the Dadsnet forum, but I'm just a bit concerned...
My DH and I are expecting our first child in Dec, and he's wanted them for ages and is really pleased and excited, which is great, but just every now and then I read stuff or just find myself thinking that this will change everything forever. We're really happy now, and were really happy before conceiving too, and hopefully this will just be an extra good thing to add to that, but I have always feared that there is a chance he'll a. never want to sleep with me again after seeing all the chaos and horror of labour, b. want to but be too tired to or stop seeing me as a sexual object and just see me as his child's mother, c. simpy be more interested in the baby than me in general... These fears arent founded on anything he's ever said or done, more on what I've heard and read elsewhere, and I'm probably being an irrational nutter, but DID it change anything for the worse? Or am I being a hormonal pregnant berk? Be as honest as you like, even if it's telling me to shut up!
Obviousl all men are different, but look around and see for yourself how many couples have more than one child. If you're still having sex during pregnancy you'll still have sex after childbirth. Maybe not for a while, 'cos you need to recover from the trauma, but you will soon enough.
I'd say that he will only go off you sexually if he has issues relating to sex and mothers. My OH couldn't keep his
randy little bugger hands off me until the Dr told him too and then was very keen start again just as soon as the DDs (we had twins) were sleeping for more than an hour at a time. He's still a randy little bugger attracted even now , 11 years later. I can't see you having any major problems if he hasn't given you cause to think he has issues, just be patient with yourself and him.
A lot of couples are probably
sleep deprived zombies extremely tired for a while after the baby arrives. Also, I think if we fully remembered the shock and horrors of childbirth then no family would be larger than 2 parents & 1 child. The mind has ways of blurring these things in order to continue the species
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