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Once a cheater, always a cheater??

(5 Posts)
complexo Fri 17-Aug-12 01:06:10

My exH cheated on the girlfriend he had before meeting me...
We had an - on off relationship and he always instantly were out with new girls just a day or so after breaking up with me, so he proably was cheating on meor at least flirting behind my back.
Than he would break up with them and I would take him back... (I know)
At one point we were separate or months and he was getting serious with this girl, I was finally nearly over him but he tried to cheat on her with me...I told him I wouldn't be an OW so he brokeup with her and asked me t marry him.
We got married knowing he would have to relocate to another country and I would come with him but I had to wait 6 months before going because of a delay on my graduation...
During this 6 months I found out he was exchanging emails, letters and gifts with the 1st girlfriend in this post...but because I knew they had a strong relationship and she had a fiancee too I went ahead an moved to the other country to be with him (I am too good friends with exs)
Getting in there, I found a letter of a woman who he was having an affair with and she was clearly devastated as I was due to arrive and he had break up with her. He than explained to me she was a 'friend' who got obssesed with him but nothing ever happened.
I was so happy to be there pretended to myself I believed but than I became very jealous and suspicious of every women he came in contact with.
He was also a martial arts instructor so women were pouring at his lessons and he was enoying the attention so much that I stopped training myself.
One of them (let's call H) became very close to us and pretended to be our friend, I could sense that she was head over heels for him and couldn't stop worrying about them...he was getting s much fed up with my behaviour and calling me crazy and controlling...
He encouraged me to go and spend one week with my famiy and during that time H moved in to spend romantic time with him...there were lots of candles when I came back and stuff from her work on the computer...(in fact they met up straight after he left me at the airport and that is why he was so grumpy before my flight which was late)
Anyway, as soon as got home from my trip he asked for divorce 1st thing and I agreed as he didn't answer my calls or my emails for the whole time I was away and I was at this point fed up with the emotional abuse that was going on even though I didn't realise it was an abusive relationship.
He left his email logged on, on the computer and while he was asleep I realised they must have been have an affair for a long time because she was demanding him to leave me and he made up his minh while I was away.
I woke him up asking what was going on (didn't tell him I read his emails) and he denied everything, called me crazy, said she went to the house just for lunch and tried to kiss him but he didn't want...(ha ha ha I pretended I believed)
He than begged me for forgiviness and said he wanted to stay with me forever blablabla...I was so in love and ashamed of divorce that I agreed and we had sex just for the next day him to say he actually changed his ming and wanted divorce.
Than he said if we had a child he wouldn't leave me for the sake of the child.
I went back to our country and they started dating overthere...
One year later he came back as her fiancee and while waiting for her cheated on her on many occasions (not with me)
They are no married with a child and I still wonder if he is cheating on her on regular basis and if we were together with a child he would probably be cheating on me too.

I don't really expect anyone to be reading at this point but I just need to write this down from time to time because that man caused me serious harm and sometimes I still feel I was the one who gone crazy and created all this in my head or caused me to cheat on me each time...

I later found out that the OW whose letter I discovered had an abortion and moed country just to be way from him giving up her phD...

And this is a man whose father cheated on his mother and keft her for OW and he always said he never quite forgave his dad for that....

So do you think he is still a cheater because I really wish them both unhapiness.

And yes I know I should move on...

Nigglenaggle Fri 17-Aug-12 20:46:20

I'm sure he is, you are well rid, well done xx

complexo Mon 20-Aug-12 10:09:19

Sorry for all the typos and bad grammar, I wrote on the phone on a late night. Thanks for answering.

Jackin Mon 20-Aug-12 17:28:10

You 'left the bastard' you win!

Peterpan101 Fri 02-Nov-12 23:19:15

You should move on....

My ex had cheated on a previous BF......that then increased to both her long term relationships during a moments relaxing of guard. She of course cheated on me.....

Some people NEED the constant attention of multiple relationships....or maybe the thrill of the 'cheat'. My ex came from a broken home. Serious EA from her dad....and maybe her mum??

Its no reflection on yourself other than being a little naive, gullible, romantic??....move on, but be on your guard.

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