Hey lovely Dads,(17 Posts)
I have wandered over from mumsnet.
There are male posters on mumsnet from time to time.
There are some posters who reply to them with shock horror,but most of us are friendly.
I would say that the AIBU threads and feminist threads can get quite heated for both women and men,so if you wanted to dip your toe in, so to speak,you may want to avoid those 2 boards in the first instance.
The number of times you will see 'leave the bastard' on a thread about a male partner leaving their socks on the floor in the bathroom.... ;-)
And the number of days of consecutive days that it has rained in the UK...
42 is the answer to everything. From Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy"
Sorry about the delay...
I think there is a lot of miscommunication and I think in my experience it comes from the seperation, the reasons for it and the immediate aftermath. Then the issues just keep rolling like a snowball....
Seperation and then divorce tend to polarize peoples opinions and before you know it, you are the devil incarnate and treated like a wife beater and child deserter, when really the issue(s) are at the heart of why the relationship broke up and didn't work anymore.
Adult resentment, insecurity and anger suddenly become the centre pieces whenever the kids and their well being should be. There are also a number of support characters (there were in my case) who polarize opinions further, friends of one party with an axe to grind, ex mother in law etc. There are good parents of both sexes and there are also poor parents of both sexes.
I am with you on the more love that kids get the better for them and it doesn't matter who it is from (within reason of course !).
In terms of the resources of Mumsnet I agree with you, but from a personal perspective I can understand why some might have issue and feel excluded. There are many great threads and advice / opinions but I have seen some, for example where an NRP (Dad) and his account of Parental Alienation is acknowledged with even 'how sad' comments but in the next breath 'dealing with absent runaway dads is a bigger issue'. Well not to the OP it isn't who has bared their soul.
Some of it is the nature of internet forums and how people express opinions and it being the t'internet you often get misreading of meaning and emotion. Sometimes as well there are those that express extreme views and maybe get a bit carried away with topics when if they were sat in front of real life people from a cross section of society (which the internet is) in a pub expressing their opinion they may not be so 'extreme'. With their close circle of friends thats one thing but broadcasting to the world.... Who knows.
And what is 42 QUQ ??
i remember a builder i used to work with stopped working, his wife earned by far the bigger salary and he was fine with it. it was the bosses son who said "not much of a man" but then he was a compleate prick of the first water.
enjoy looking after your kids lord
meow ... I would have loved the opportunity to have that kind of paternity leave. I just lost my job for taking too much time off to look after my children when they were ill and was called a pussy for putting my family first.
Oh well my job was the one that paid the least so im gonna enjoy the opportunity to spend so much more time with my beloved kids.
QUQ ... You are right about the masses of non-communication between parents and others responsible for the care and welfare of children.
i'm not divorced so i dont have the issues you speak about quote.
i do like the idea of paternity leave matching materity leave though, not just because i'm lazy. it would stop making 25-38 year old women a bad bet for an empolyer.
Great - So what are we going to talk about QUQ ?
I don't know, maybe why there sometimes is a miscommunication issue between parents,
I'm of the school, the more people that love the children I gave birth to the better, I have a great relationship with my Ex(so does my husband), but it took a lot of work,
I work in an entirely male environment,(well I just managed to get one woman) so I usually hear the other side of the story,
One of my best mates, who has worked for me(day in day out) for the last 16 years, when getting fed up with me,an ex, wife, girlfriend (he has a lot), goes and put on his favourite t-shirt, "Your lips are moving,but all I can hear is bla bla bla, I love his honesty.
I hate that there are children out there that are missing a parent, maybe down to miscommunication,
MN seems to be an amazing resource for people to explore all things parenting, it seems sad that maybe the people out there that could use this resource the most feel excluded.
It could make a great difference to lots of children if the adults in their lives had somewhere to bounce their issues off,
I have for years operated a flexi time arrangement, as well as maternity leave for men, we realised very early on that if I worked with peoples personal issues, divorce,split up, custody , I got to keep brilliant people and didn't have to keep retraining people, in return I got the most loyal workforces,
It really hurts to see men being treated as a different species, and I hate the tar that comes with the return brush, it becomes boring, so unnecessary, I'm an equalitist,
anyway what do you think would help?
oh and can we discuss 42
why do F4j have such an issue with MN?
i have been told my posts are unwelcome on the feminist section and that i'm anti-feminist , what about the menz/whinny ETC.
it wouldnt attall suprise me if the F4J crowd felt less than welcome.
Great - So what are we going to talk about QUQ ?
I found my way without the welcome mat. I just read the topic titles and took a blind punt... call me a mad impetuous fool if you like....
(Jeysus I am going to regret this.....)
I keep hoping this area will liven up a bit, my husband looked in, and nothing on this board changed in a few days, so he thought it abandoned.
I do hope that they do get someone to talk to, thanks for replying.
Well ... the main reason I dont hang about in here is its a tad quiet for my taste
I tend to be found in other areas of mumsnet. But any FFJ folks that want to have a chat with another father are more than welcome to message me.
I will check back here from time to time as well though.
To any FFJ visitors my advice is give mumsnet a chance and you will find its not such an unwelcoming place at all.
It's just I wondered why this isn't used more?
(especially by FFJ, as they might benefit from talking to other dads)
after all there are just as many dads as there are mums.
Could you lay out a welcome mat for the chaps from fathers for justice, they don't know you are here,
They might fill less bitter towards MN, if they knew where to join in and felt welcomed.
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