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Can I ever win him back?

(3 Posts)
lookingfoxy Tue 26-Jul-11 00:32:50

Me and dp split a couple of months ago, all my instigation although he admitted things hadn't been right for ages.

I think he would have carried on (put up and shut up so to speak).

I said we should live seperately and try to take things back to the start, he agreed, but we really never let go of any issues and nothing really changed.

We had a great relationship before we ever lived together, it went to pot (for me ) virtually as soon as we moved in together, we were both full time single parents, we stuck out living together for 5 years, many issues that I felt (and still do) that we shouldn't live together again with children.

Otherwise, just me and him, we get on fabulously most of the time, fancy each other etc when given the chance without the kids.

I ended the relationship a couple of months ago, I desperately regret this, but I really needed the time alone to think, I honestly thought it was the end when I finished it, but I have been seriously regretting things after i've had breathing space.

I asked him about 10 days ago to give it another shot, which he declined, said we had been through too much and he didn't think he could get through it (we have both behaved horribly, but no other people involved).

We had a pre booked weekend away last weekend (with kids) and ended up having sex (I instigated) and a cuddle the next day.

I have not contacted him since we got back (he was at door this morning to pick up shaver from trip, but I went back to my bed), I haven't contacted him at all.

I don't know which stance to take?

Should I persue and try to convince him or leave him alone and hope he realises how I feel (he thinks im a bit of a cold fish with reason), although I feel I have already laid my cards on the table.
I don't want to come across as a stalker, althoug I desperatley want to salvabe the relationship if possible.
ps
he said (volunteered) that he hadn't looked at another women since..

GiveMeSomeSpace Tue 26-Jul-11 03:54:51

Hi lookingfoxy

I would have said that your post would have been better placed in the Relationships section, but I'm guessing you're after a man's opinion.

Sounds like you have been open with him and he has been honest with you about not wanting to get back together. If you really want to give it another shot, try and show him what he's missing (ie the 'happy' you) without chasing him down. If he thinks you are a bit of a cold fish, you'll need to show him otherwise.
I would never advocate chasing someone who is not interested, but if you think there is a chance then sometimes you have to put a little bit of our pride to one side if we really want things to work.

Hope it works out for you smile

Can you not try restarting the relationship but without moving in together again? Some people manage that as an option - perhaps suggest it to him?

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