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Male opinion required....possible tmi.

(23 Posts)
TheDuchessofYork Sat 16-Jul-11 00:49:13

Hello gentlemen!
I'm pregnant with my first child and I'd like to ask you all a question. Please don't be offended by it!
How many of you noticed a change in vaginal tightness in your wife/partner after childbirth? I'm very worried about how childbirth will affect our sex life.
Please be brutally honest. I'm not asking the ladies because I think some of them can be a bit in denial;)
Could you also specify what kind of delivery she had? ie; forceps, ventouse, normal, episiotomy, ceasarean etc.

sm2k Sat 16-Jul-11 02:01:56

Obviously I can't speak for all but for us there was no real difference that I can pinpoint. Though my wife was assiduous in doing her pelvic floor exercises, maybe that helps! Of course, its not exactly a direct comparison as there's clearly been a few months of unusual angles etc, but it really isn't something to worry about. It's all part of the experience! My wife was definitely of the 'lets get this over with' frame of mind when getting back in the sack, it did hurt a bit the first couple of times but not so much she couldn't enjoy it.

My main tip is, make the most of having a baby that can't crawl around and sleeps half the day. If you have a second, the main problem is any tightness or lack of, it's tiredness......

Delivery: 2 x normal, grazes with the first and a snip with the second.

TheDuchessofYork Sat 16-Jul-11 14:36:51

Good to hear sm2k.
More answers pleasesad

Truckrelented Sat 16-Jul-11 14:40:28

In my experience sex was the last thing on the agenda after the birth of our children.

I'd give birth first and then worry about it, I think it'll be far down the list.

BertieBotts Sat 16-Jul-11 14:40:28

You know some of us ladies read this section too? grin

Honestly childbirth doesn't leave you with a bucket fanny. You'll be fine. Things will change down there, probably, but not massively. Pelvic floor exercises are good though - do them during sex, that usually gives them a surprise (especially just after he's ejaculated) grin

Truckrelented Sat 16-Jul-11 14:42:50

I think posters posting in Dadsnet should make it clear that they're a woman, we'll think you're hairy truckers and you could be female.

Very confusing.

AuntieMonica Sat 16-Jul-11 14:45:50

so far Truck, yours are the only posts on this thread which don't say which sex you are grin

<def a no-tail>

TheDuchessofYork Sat 16-Jul-11 14:49:12

Sex is always on DH's agenda Truckrelented;) Sorry BertieBotts! I should have realised the ladies read this section too.

Truckrelented Sat 16-Jul-11 14:55:28

It may not be on your agenda though.

TheDuchessofYork Sat 16-Jul-11 14:59:23

It will be eventually Truckrelented.

nocake Mon 18-Jul-11 13:01:22

I'm a bloke smile and I've noticed no difference, but then DW did have a CS so I'm not sure we expected a difference. TBH tightness, or lack of, is the least of your worries when it comes to having sex with a newborn in the house. Finding time to do it when you're both awake and feeling like it is the biggest issue.

BelleDameSansMerci Mon 18-Jul-11 13:05:06

I'm not a bloke... Sex was back on my agenda pretty quickly, fwiw. For me, sex is even better since giving birth. Something has changed for the better grin and, allegedly, no difference in elasticity/tightness.

Toadinthehole Wed 20-Jul-11 10:52:38

I'm a bloke. The sex got better, not least because the DW worked out how to squeeze... if you take my meaning.

Orbinator Tue 26-Jul-11 01:34:08

Great question Dutchess. Same issue has worried me (6 days overdue here and these things do tend to occupy one's every increasing time...). All my partners have commented that I am tight, one said "tighter than a choirboy's arse" blush and when I have smears they have twice said that as I am long and narrow I'll have a very tough time in labour (gee, thanks!).

I know I have the muscles trained pretty well down there - was doing anyway before told to do kegals - surely these get stretched/torn and have to be rebuilt?

Really my concern is because I am single and the next guy will never have experienced me "taught like a tiger" so to speak. Would it be wrong to mention to the next guy he is the first since I squeezed a melon sized creature out? I feel there may be a need to warn or get advice...?

GiveMeSomeSpace Tue 26-Jul-11 04:04:16

We had no4 2 years ago (all natural births) and I can honestly say that my DW is in the best shape that she ever has been "down there". She has done pelvic floors religiously and I think carrying on with a regular sex life has also made things recover quicker. I'm guessing that all the relevant muscles tend to work better if she's having regular orgasms. I suppose it's like any other exercise really - keeping toned and tight etc.

SilkySilky Thu 28-Jul-11 22:36:18

A midwife I know is asked almost daily by a partner at a birth to "stick a few extra stitches in down there please" , seriously.

Macaroona Thu 28-Jul-11 22:40:07

Silky shock seriously?!

eeore Tue 16-Aug-11 01:27:46


HedleyLamarr Wed 17-Aug-11 23:03:54

I "know" a lady who has had 4 DCs. She has a really tight chuff. Either that or I am have a massive cock. No, definitely the former. grin

Andrewofgg Fri 19-Aug-11 20:40:54

You will soon be back as you were - or at least you will feel so to the gentleman who is in a position to talk about "before and after".

DW's delivery was the old-fashioned method and it went very well.

Good luck with your pregnancy.

thechairmanmeow Sun 21-Aug-11 14:55:09

no difference attall, really, you dont have to worry about this .

DecapitatedLegoman Sun 21-Aug-11 15:01:04

For us something has changed for the better - DH is now having prematurity problems which we're working on. Thought it was just infrequency causing it but he's adamant the sensation is stronger and increasing the frequency hasn't really helped. And i had an unstitched 2nd degree tear!

Gomiboy Mon 10-Oct-11 11:57:20

The vagina is extremely elastic, and even the most difficult of natural / standard vaginal births won't permanently stretch the vagina. I wouldn't worry about it.

My DW is tiny, had two kids who were huge (8lbs 8oz and 8lbs 13oz) and there is no noticeable difference to me.

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