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very concerned about my husband

(4 Posts)
thomasinaticklemouse Thu 18-Nov-10 16:19:22

we have a 10 month old gorgeous baby daughter. My husband and I are very much in love, in spite of all the problems we have had over the last year or so, including problems with a pushy MIL and me getting used to her, and also my husband having to get used to not being able to go out at the drop of a hat while I was breastfeeding( these are just two examples, Im sure many people have similar problems.
I have become increasingly concerned over my husband's wellbeing as the economy has affected his income, but we are managing. We seem to be having a lot of misunderstandings, and I am afriad to ask for support from him at times as things seem to escalate and he loses his temper, cant seem to control his voice level, and I fear our baby will wake up. Also, when I am so exhausted and want to go to bed,hw doesnt let me and carries on what he is doing upstairs whcih leads me to be concerned over our baby's wellbeing if she is woken. He got so angry with me that he told me to leave (angrily) said he was considering separation. He continued to use a loud voice(upstairs with baby asleep) and I felt quite afraid and said I would need to call someone for help if he didnt stop. He then said not to do that, and if I did, then it would definitely be over. We are both from a professional background, with loving parents. I am a stay at home mum, taking a break from working to look after our baby daughter. I have posted a thrread on the relationships page, and the replies I got said this surmounted to abuse. I dont think it is intentional, but I need to know where to go for help, as this has happened on more than 3 or 4 occassions.

kreecherlivesupstairs Thu 18-Nov-10 16:21:55

I'm not a dad, I'm a mum. TBH, it sounds like abuse to me too.
I think you are over worrying about waking your DD up, children will turn over and go back to sleep.
IIWY, i would swallow my pride and have another look on the relationships site.
My DH would never talk to me like that or shout at me. Yours sounds very disrespectful.

Fromage Thu 18-Nov-10 16:34:52

Are you in the UK?

What sort of help do you want - how to get him to behave like a normal person, or how to leave him?

Try Women's Aid

SilkySilky Sat 04-Dec-10 19:08:11

Sounds like the bloke is stressed at work. That is no excuse, but it is a reason.

Sit down with him once baby is asleep and calmly tell him about his behaviour. Its obvious to you, but needs pointing out to him.

He should apologise and try harder in future.
Certainly too early to be considering separation, so talk it thru and give it some time.

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