Le Tour de France 2016! - MN Peloton takes to the road again!

(579 Posts)
thewheelscomeoff123 Thu 30-Jun-16 00:02:33

bike
Yes it's July almost, which means only one thing. The biggest, craziest, Frenchiest push bike race in the world. Three weeks of riding round France in multi-coloured lycra, sweating, swearing, playing poker on 380 wheels, tears of joy and frustration, in the saddle for about 5 hours per day, up and down massive hills, throwing the odd tantrum. Then going to bed, and getting up in the morning and doing it all again!
Questions:
Why?
Well we just don't know.grin
When?
Starts on Saturday 2nd July with a flat bit from the beautiful Mont Saint- Michel on the Normandy coast to Utah Beach, and ends with the sprint finish on the Champs Elysee, Paris on Sunday 24th July.
Where do they go?
Essentially they ride for 2,200 miles around the edge of France, and wandering a bit into Spain, Andorre, and Switzerland. This is for the sake of going up and down the Pyrenees and the Alps. Which we know as the 'lumpy bits'. There's a route map coming up. There's always a route map.
Is it tiring?
Evidence suggests it might be. In the 3 weeks the riders consume the calorific equivalent of eating 252 McD's double cheeseburgers. Some of us are both proud and ashamed of the fact we could eat all of that in the 3 weeks without riding anywhere.....
So who wins?
It's the person who covers that distance in the shortest time. BUT..it's a team game and the winner cannot do it without all 9 team mates. The prize is 500,000 Euros, which the winner will partly hand out to his buddies.
Is it on UK tv?
Yes, ITV and Eurosport carry a lot of live action and both do a highlights package for an hour or so each evening.
Is there a 'virtual' competition where you can 'buy' a team of riders within a budget and see how they do?
I'm glad you asked that. here is a link to everything you will need to show off your directeur skills and have a bit of added interest for the race
Do I have to know loads about pro-cycling to understand what's going on?
Nope. Have a watch, have a read, ask anything on this thread and your layered knowledge will build and you will get so much more out of it.
When are you going to shut up and show the route map?
Now.
bike

thewheelscomeoff123 Thu 30-Jun-16 00:05:14

Route map. Tap it once and it will open up nice and clearly......

MrSlant Thu 30-Jun-16 07:56:01

bike grin bike grin bike grin bike grin bike grin bike grin bike grin bike grin bike grin bike grin bike grin bike grin bike grin bike grin bike grin bike grin

Sorry, very sorry about this next bit but I just have to SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE <bounces>

MrSlant Thu 30-Jun-16 07:58:18

Is there a very poorly named league where I can compete against you bunch of weirdos with my virtual team of riders?

Glad you asked, here is the code; 762810591855

MrSlant Thu 30-Jun-16 18:48:17

In a shocking piece of news, in the key sprint rivalry between Greipel and Kittel, Griepel has actually edged ahead in the hair stakes, shinier, more body, higher quiff. Kittel obviously off form now he no longer has Alpecin on tap, just a warning if any of you have him in your teams.

refereerendum Thu 30-Jun-16 20:55:20

The MN League is somewhat lacking in takers. There are more in the League of people who live in my house smile.

thewheelscomeoff123 Thu 30-Jun-16 21:09:41

I'm doing my sky train tomorrow for what it's worth. Just making sure G. doesn't have too many G & Ts in a prior celebration for Saturday...

MrSlant Thu 30-Jun-16 21:09:44

Hmm, that does look a bit rubbish doesn't it? Hopefully there will be more takers before the broom wagon comes through.

AtiaoftheJulii Fri 01-Jul-16 09:37:45

Well, today's the day that's been planned for for nearly two years in this house - dd finished her A levels (including French handily smile ) a week ago, and she and dh set off today for 3 1/2 weeks following the tour!

(His mum asked, will you come home early if you get bored?)

The giant Welsh flag has been procured, everything's booked, the race book (in French) is printed (not for team hotel stalking purposes, I am told), they're mostly packed ... They're both very excited and rather nervous.

I'm busily deleting everything off our Tivo so there's room to record every stage and try to spot them!

The other big question on my mind is ITV or Eurosport, given that I'll mostly be watching the highlights not the live race? Obviously Gary and Ned and Chris are pretty much unmissable, but I have also become very fond of Ashley and Juan Antonio ...

AnnPerkins Fri 01-Jul-16 09:47:26

Wow Atia, your lucky DD and DH! envy

Thank you for this thread, thewheels, I love TDF and have been so looking forward to this year's start. I'm no cycling expert but this year more than ever I'm looking forward to watching lovely French moving wallpaper every evening to soothe my fevered brow. And of course I'll be caught up in the drama of the race in no time.

I don't even know who to support. I've followed some things on Twitter and FB but what I really need is a preview show on the telly, why don't we get one? sad

MrSlant Fri 01-Jul-16 10:40:35

How exciting, that's what I'm planning for two years time when we will be post A level and post GCSE. I've already designed the camper van in my head grin. I hope they have an amazing time and get that Welsh flag all over TV. We made the rookie mistake of standing behind a camera position so of course ours never made the screen the one stage we saw back in the mists of time!

Got to be Gary, Ned and Chris for me, have you read Ned's books about the tour, they are brilliant, actually I might get 'How I won the yellow jumper' out to read today as prep.

I am so excited grin bike grin.

Now everyone has to go and make themselves a velogames team and join our league so I have people to hide behind when my team does terribly.

DramaAlpaca Fri 01-Jul-16 10:48:06

Hello all smile

I am so excited!!!!!

DH & I are planning a camper van trip to follow the Tour some day when we've finally got time to ourselves. Can't wait!

I'll be watching Eurosport as usual because it's in HD and living outside the UK as I do I can't see ITV in HD.

I don't think I'll get round to doing the velogames thing mainly because I can't work out what to do I might have another look...

MrSlant Fri 01-Jul-16 10:54:06

Hello Drama <bounces> grin

MrSlant Fri 01-Jul-16 10:58:10

I thought that about velogames, I thought I'd need reams of paper and a pen to plot it all out and would get lost but the actual process is really simple. G'wan, do a team, it will all be very silly because mine is rubbish but it will give us even more investment in the tour, if that is possible bike bike bike.

AnnPerkins Fri 01-Jul-16 10:58:46

I've already designed the camper van in my head

Make a start now then. We started building ours two years ago and are only now on the finishing touches before our post-tour trip to France in three weeks.

I would love to spend three weeks following the tour but will never have enough annual leave, sadly.

Is there a Alpe d'Huez stage this year? If so what day? We'll be travelling on Friday 22 July without TV or WiFi so I hope it's before then.

DramaAlpaca Fri 01-Jul-16 11:16:34

MrS something tells me you are very excited about the Tour... grin

OK, I'll have another look later bike

MrSlant Fri 01-Jul-16 11:21:37

I think Ventoux is this years iconic mountain.

I can't really afford one Ann but I could possibly have a cushion in this fabric.

MrSlant Fri 01-Jul-16 11:25:19

A bit Drama.

AnnPerkins Fri 01-Jul-16 11:30:55

I would love that fabric in my van MrSlant, it would totally go with my colour scheme.

I've joined the MN league. Guess which team's mine smile bike

Very excited for the start now.

AtiaoftheJulii Fri 01-Jul-16 11:50:31

Ventoux on Bastille Day grin Will be epic grin

MrSlant Fri 01-Jul-16 12:20:59

That is a GENIUS name Ann grin.

Ventoux on Bastille Day will be wild.

ThisPanCanCan Fri 01-Jul-16 12:24:41

That OP is rubbish.....grin

The parcour designers have been picking up tips from those twisted folk at the Giro. In the last week there is a time trail that goes up hill.
Just mean.

MrSlant Fri 01-Jul-16 12:28:30

Why Pan, where have you been? Some idiot started a thread without you grin.

Love an uphill time trial, can't be as bad as the giro. Can it?

ThisPanCanCan Fri 01-Jul-16 12:46:58

Just took a small de-tour there MrsS, thanks.

But by the last week they''ll all be absolutely knackered, which makes an uphil time trail twice as hard and quite vicious. Oh I seeeeee!!! That does appeal to ones internal sadist. bike

DramaAlpaca Fri 01-Jul-16 12:52:40

Team done bike

Who's the cheeky monkey who's called their directeur sportif DramaIguana? angry grin

<glares suspiciously at Pan>

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