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Huge Dilemma - What to do

(19 Posts)
user1499630311 Sun 09-Jul-17 21:42:56

Hi Please help my dilemma of what to do - briefly overheard conversation this evening of next door elderly lady neighbour who we do not get on with (long story lol) and have no contact with, with her daughter (who is very loud and we nickname mouth and is awful lol)- who stated that she had looked in hermothers safe and there was nothing in it - lady states that does not need a safe - daughter states that she does need a safe as nonna ?? (surely term for grandmother so cannot apply here) may steal her jewellery cash etc, Daughter then states that she will buy the safe this evening which will cost about a thousand pounds and needs her mothers credit card - mother states does not want safe conversation continues with daughter stating that she does and she will use mothers card to buy and so needs card -talk continues that even if mother lived for another three years she would have over a thousand pounds per day to spend from savings - so please what do I do - tell police - but no crime as such committed yet - my husband says just ignore but I seem to be ignoring a lot such as the other side when kid hurt head which I suppose is worse but don't want to go there as over a week ago. Please help Thanks

Atkinsfat Sun 09-Jul-17 21:44:03

Sorry I don't really understand that!

skyzumarubble Sun 09-Jul-17 21:44:26


BusterGonad Sun 09-Jul-17 21:49:17

Wtf 😂

Tequilamockinbird Sun 09-Jul-17 21:53:54


user1499630311 Sun 09-Jul-17 21:55:48

Apologies if sounds totally stupid but my overall concern is that the daughter is going to use her mothers credit card supposedly to buy a new safe for her but obviously for more than that- should I mind my own business or am I right to be worried daughter is jus fleecing her mother
ok I can see I should ignore and am stupid to be so worried so sorry to waste your time

swapsicles Sun 09-Jul-17 21:57:16

Sounds like extortion by the daughter, im not sure who you should speak to really.
101 might guide you to the right place or a least revord your concerns. Social services or carers might be useful if they are involved already too.

OnlyAQuickNC Sun 09-Jul-17 21:58:36

hmm Op have you been at the wine? grin

YogiYoni Sun 09-Jul-17 21:58:53

You overheard next door neighbour's daughter coercing her into handing over her credit card? And suspect daughter may be planning to use it fraudulently?

How well do you know NDN? Could you pop round to chat with her about it when daughter's not there?

venys Sun 09-Jul-17 21:59:54

Hmm not sure you can do anything to be honest. You could call CAB and see if they know what to do in this situation?

MadMags Sun 09-Jul-17 22:03:10


SpongeBobJudgeyPants Sun 09-Jul-17 22:06:44

Sounds like your NDN may be a vulnerable adult, and as such it is a safe-guarding issue. Maybe give social services a ring, as they deal with these issues.

user1499630311 Sun 09-Jul-17 22:08:58

Thanks for all your replies and sorry it sounds like I have been on the wine lol - She is elderly and has helpers to bathe her etc everyday - we have no contact at all so cannot speak to her but what worried me is the daughter sounded loud and overbearing (which she is) and was telling her in the end that she was going to buy her a new safe even though we actually live in a low crime area etc and it was to me obvious she wanted her credit card. But anyway I don't think I will do anything about it now as seems a bit silly and none of my business but thanks anyway

Steph999999 Sun 09-Jul-17 22:26:41

Could you talk to one of her carers who come in to bathe her? They would probably have a good idea of your NDN's family set up and could maybe talk to your NDN to get an idea if anything untoward is going on. They may even have a few concerns of their own. They may have also come across similar situations before in their work and have some advice for you.

There is also no harm in calling 101 and logging your concerns and you can do that anonymously too if you want.

user1499630311 Mon 10-Jul-17 08:52:52

Thanks for your help I may do

Desmondo2016 Mon 10-Jul-17 21:55:29

Why would daughter need to ask. If ndn is that frail and immobile then I'm pretty sure mouth could just take it and ndn wouldn't know.

LovingLola Mon 10-Jul-17 22:02:13

Financial abuse of the elderly is widespread and very serious. Maybe google for charities who help the aged - they often have helplines that you could call and outline your concerns and they may be able to advise you on what you can do next. Your NDN is lucky to have you! (even though you don't get on!)>

user1499630311 Tue 11-Jul-17 08:52:44

Thanks for your help - After peoples comments here I took the plunge and spoke to one of her carers as she was leaving yesterday - had to do it very covertly lol as mouth was there - did not give all the details but feel at least I have passed on my concerns about what I overheard - don't know why but later that day mouth seemed a bit quieter - usually you can hear her a mile off but she seemed a little subdued and to be honest if they have said something to her and said I had reported it I wouldn't mind as she really was being quite nasty and bullying to her mother and it was wrong.- luckily I had recorded some of the conversation as I was so shocked about what was being said so if she denies it I have evidence,
Thanks to all

Jay1990 Sat 30-Dec-17 13:33:29

Hi. Just got back from Holiday for a Post-it note on my front door on Christmas Day. Saying - (Glad you are away, most of the neighbours think so. Merry Christmas Losers). I'm so upset that this was practically inviting someone to rob my house. The police are useless. I have no idea who put this on my front door for anybody passing to see. Fuming at the coward but no idea who did it.

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