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What to do about OH with bad spending habits?

(11 Posts)
Loobieloo27 Mon 19-Nov-18 18:17:47

Hey, anyone got any advice?
Me and OH been married 4 years together for 8, 2 kids.

My husband has always had bad spending habits, he works full time but not earning lots, i work 24 hours a week and our money goes into one big pot and bills come out as and when they are due.

I hate spending money and would rather save and be comfortable, him on the other hand spends money on gaming, football bets and todays find was radio competetions at the price of £86! I'm mad because we are struggling for money as i've just changed jobs and wont get paid before christmas so we need to be careful.

Feel like his mother i just don't know what to do! Thanks smile

OP’s posts: |
sparklepops123 Mon 19-Nov-18 18:21:48

I’d put what you earn plus any benefits into your own account and only transfer the minimum you need to into the joint account

Loobieloo27 Tue 20-Nov-18 08:17:58

Thank you yes id thought about doing this and using separate account for food

OP’s posts: |
ShatnersBassoon Tue 20-Nov-18 08:25:00

How does he justify the gambling? How does he behave when you talk about the situation?

Fluffycloudland77 Tue 20-Nov-18 08:40:18

We do what what sparkle advises. We pay half of all bills into a joint account incl food.

I wouldn’t bail him out if he comes unstuck, £86 is a lot to just piss away.

Loobieloo27 Tue 20-Nov-18 09:16:32

@shatners he's always had the habit of gambling from the whole time i've known him whether that be bandits which he now doesn't do, now its more often then not football bets, he only does £5 but throughout the week soon mounts up.

He doesnt see the issue, he gets defensive and annoyed that i nag him about money.

OP’s posts: |
Oblomov18 Tue 20-Nov-18 09:52:07

Dh and I only have one joint account. But Most people don't do it this way.

for you I suggest getting one joint account, and one single account for you, and one single account for him.

His wages and your wages go into joint account. Out goes all mortgage/bills/food.

And from the joint account, also goes out a set Amount of 'play money' goes into his account and also your account. Say £100-£200. Or whatever amount. You will sit down and work out how much he gets/how much you as a family can afford, them tell him so!

If you choose to spend £100 and put the other £100 into a separate savings account. That's your choice.

If he decides to piss his £200 up the wall on betting on football predictions etc, that's his choice.

once he's spent it he's spent it. no one touches the joint account.

This will make him responsible for his own spending and will mean that you and the family don't get into any sort of trouble.

Santaispolishinghissleigh Tue 20-Nov-18 09:57:16

Exh was like this. For a month every time he spent I took the same. We struggled and he went mad. Pointed out his golf membership, pool money +lunch out every day adds up. Told him I had bought handbag and shoes!! I hadn't, saved the cash as it had gotten to where I was borrowing to pay bills.
Got divorced over his spending tbh.

Loobieloo27 Tue 20-Nov-18 10:08:13

This is my issue, i wouldn't mind if we could afford to waste but right now we just haven't got it. We have a big overdraft that we go in and out of through the month, i'd like to get out of it but he see's it as his money.

I like the idea of a set amount of fun money every month!

OP’s posts: |
Notreallyhappy Tue 20-Nov-18 13:44:13

As oblovmor says...
If a person says they're being nagged they must be doing something wrong or they'd listen to your opinion, give you a good reason why they're actions are so and understand your feelings on the matter.
Your DH needs to wake up to how easy it is to slip majorly into gambling.

MessySurfaces Fri 23-Nov-18 23:17:54

If you go the spending money route- make sure your spending money doesn't end up being what pays for kids' clubs, haircuts, school wanting money for things etc.

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