Re addressing our equal share.

[Solongtoshort]

I am trying to make our household bills more equal. I took a new job last January less stress less pay. I was always the higher earner and didn’t rebalance our spend.

Currently we put 600 each into a joint account which covers bills such as mortgage, water, gas and electricity, council tax and virgin. Anything left over pays for our summer holiday and a weekend away.

We could save a lot on our virgin as we pay 106 a month which is awful l think. Which lm going to look at today.

Currently my dh gives me £100 towards food per month, he hasn’t got a clue about how much food cost because l spend about £75 a week and this is shopping at Aldi and Home Bargains for “luxuries”. He does get bread and milk if lm in work, this however doesn’t cost him the amount lm spending. So l am going to suggest £40 per week each which will also cover our sons activities which is £5 per week and the window cleaner which is £7 a month. This will help me out greatly especially in 5 week months. Any extra can stay in the pot for special occasions such as Christmas /Easter and birthdays.

I am also going to be asking him for the cash every Monday as when he transfers it to me in my bank account l don’t really feel like l see it.

I want to stop taking my cards out with me so l stop using them l will take the cash out shopping with me and l will have an ermegency £20 in my car if l need it.

In November my contract is up on my phone so l can save £35 a month more.

I need to rebalance our childcare as well some howl pay more than him and l pay breakfast club too.

I have just potty trained my little girl so now l don’t need to buy nappies.

I do meal plan already but weekly as l found when doing it monthly it was all prossed food and very little fresh food. We eat much better now.

There are 4 of us me, dh, ds 6yo and dd nearly 3.

I am down to my last £100 in my savings account, l don’t think dh knows how much lm stressing out about this. I don’t really know what lm asking. How do the finances at your house balance out.

[Solongtoshort]

I’m so annoyed l have just worked out how much more a curated l am paying.

[Solongtoshort]

Month

[Katescurios]

You need to work out what the total costs are each month then split it so that you each have the same disposable income left over.

Eg i f you bring home 1000, he brings home 2000 and bills/savings/food etc a re 1500 then there will be 1500 left which should be split equally.

[Notamorningperson84]

From what you've said you've been organising the finances and covering any extra without as far as I can tell mentioning it to him. I think you need to sit down and have a chat about the finances. He'll probably be mortified he hasn't been paying his share.

Do you have a joint account for household stuff? Ours sends texts to us both when we go into the buffer overdraft. It means we both know when we need to top it up and we sort that out together.

[Raver84]

I work part time and sahm to 4 children. dh is working full time he earns more than me but pays the majority of bills. I pay the smaller bills like water, kids activities, car service plans life insurances. We both save. After all our bills and saving come out we don't have a lot left perhaps 50-100 each. If we both do overtime we take that into account and decide how to spend it like pay off a bit of credit card, put towards holiday whatever. it's our moeny and there for us both . Savings are used together generally for Christmas, holidays etc. We just sat down and went through the bills and sorted who would pay what.

[Solongtoshort]

Notamorningperson

You are right this is exactly what happened.

I just said over lunch when the kids go to bed we need to look at our finances because of my savings, he said l have it all written out.

Even about a fire stick to save us £60 and the fact we are changing energy suppliers.

[rainingcatsanddog]

It sounds like this is a much needed chat. Make sure he does 50% of the work sorting out new suppliers etc

[Solongtoshort]

He said yes,

It’s me who has it all written down.

[excitedbutconfused]

All our money gets pooled - we then get equal spending money each that we can do what we like. The rest of the money is for all expenses (including DC), bills coming out of one account and anything left over gets topped up into my pension (as I work P/T to suit the family needs) and / or split between us in ISA's. We have on credit card which we both put spending on.

I do all the bills and sorting out the money side of stuff and he trusts that I am getting us the best deal (and I am as he CBA ever to switch things!!)

I used to earn double DH, and now I work P/T as it was easier for me to do this than him career wise an wasn't too much of a hit and suits us as a family and earn about 2/3 of what he does. Because we have always split it this way there are no issues or stresses when I went P/T as I knew that any reduction in salary was a reduction in our family salary.