Massive debt and don't know where to start

[hayser33]

As the new year is coming I'm really keen to have a but of an overhaul of our life in general bit my main concern is money.
We are in alot of debt ( £ 26000 to be exact ) we have enough to cover paying it off but we always overspend every single month and any excess gets put on credit card . For example last 2 weeks before payday the food shop any petrol etc getso put on there.
I'm trying to budget with the food shop we are doing dry january so hopefully that will last save 200+ a month
Also my daughter has a big school trip that we are commitied to so that is 500 pound we have to find by end of January.we have moved house and have been stuck with key meters for gas and electric for last few weeks and they are costing a small fortune..I have rang up the supplier and they are taking them out so that should cut that bill in half.
Has anyone been in this much debt before and managed to get out of it? ..it just feels so overwhelming

[festiveleadballoon]

£200+ a month on alcohol? Could you not start by going dry every month instead of just January?

[LIZS]

If you always need to overspend you don't have the means to pay it off. Try stepchange to help you address this spending pattern, budget and pay off the debt.

[80sWaistcoat]

Go to moneysavingexpert.com website - there's a whole section on how to start budgeting, to save money and pay off debt. It is possible. But you have to make some really tough decisions about what you spend your money on.

Stepchange is good too.

[hayser33]

Yes I know 200 (well its between me and my boyfriend)is far too much I'm really aware of that and wines not the cheapest of drinks . I'm not an alcoholic by any means and i just wanted advice on paying off debt and how i could budget in other areas. This board always seemed helpful with people who had got into a pickle and lived beyond the right means and I'm working hard to try and sort out a budget.
We do alot of entertaining indoors as we don't ever go out (I'm sure if we went out every week it would come to alot more than that) but we need to stop that aswell or not do it so much .
I've read all the threads on food shop budgeting etc .
Thanks for the advice anyway

[Mum4Fergus]

Have you made a proper budget for starters? List everything that comes and then go back over 3-6 months bank/cc statements and list all your outgoings.

Next I'd organise all the debt in order of value...make me minimum payments on everything but the smallest debt but have everything else in SO/DD while you whittle down first debt. When that is cleared start on the next one and so on.

You should really think about your outgoings-£200pm on alcohol when you are so much in debt does seem a bit excessive. I find a weekly cash budget works well for me, just my boy and I so I take out £60pw to do us for everything not paid by SO/DD.

[hayser33]

I've said to boyfriend we need to sit and sort a plan out for the new year and what we are going to do .
I think we have plodded along (and we have moved house twice this year ) and have buried our head into he sand..nothing worries him either !
It's been difficult merging finances and we both had separate debt so I think we need a plan . 200 pounds does sound really bad and I've said that to him ..I think he sees it as 25 pound a week each and that we would spend more than that on a night out.
Thanks for advice I'll make a start on it all tonight when I get in from work and I'll definitely try Martin Lewis website

[Lorelei76]

When you list your outgoings, keep in mind anything you might spend in cash, you might not use cash but if you use cash to buy coffees etc then you need to keep receipts.

You say you have enough to pay off the debt which is great. So when you do your budget, it's key to find out where the nonsense money is going.

Also can't recommend Aldi highly enough if you have one near.

[hayser33]

I like Aldi and lidls I go through phases of going there I still tend to spend a lot in there tho (think I get tempted by the deluxe ranges) . Going to write a list every week aswell I'm wondering how much most people spend in a weekly shop there's 5 of us in the household (I'm thinking at least 100 )

[Mummyreindeerlegz]

Four of us and my food shop is always under £50.
The last two weeks of the month is up to half the time you are living on the credit card. That really isn't a great way of living, you need to set a budget and stick to it. It doesn't really matter how much other people spend, you can't afford to budget £200 a month for booze and £4-500 for food.

[ImYourMama]

I feed 3 of us, all meat and veg and made from scratch for £30 a week in Aldi. Meal plan, don't have an expensive meat like steak or beef joint unless it's a special occasion and take cash so you can't overspend. The deluxe range is just the same stuff in different packaging!

[specialsubject]

People can and do pay off that much. If you want to join them it starts now.

No adult presents
No magazines or books - use the library
Cut the entertaining down or out
Hammer down all bills - make sure you are on best tariffs and use less. Shop around for insurance.
Transport costs - minimise car use, look to driving technique
Fripperies - sky? Tech addiction? Coffees? Clothes? Make up?

And stop the boozing, one bottle of wine a week.

[hayser33]

All good tips thankyou

[SouthWestmom]

Hi have you found the debt support threads? Really really helpful. I owed way more than that and am now down to £18k from about £40k.
Honestly most of it is attitude. Just not buying things. Paying for boring stuff - I fill my car with petrol on payday, I meal plan and get it delivered every Sunday (much cheaper than doing it in store and randomly). I drink weekends only. I don't buy makeup anymore unless I am replacing something.

[Tinklebinkle]

Ooh i was in loads more debt! Totally my own fault and it took me 4 1/2 years to pay it off. I had a rubbish credit score for about 8 years and I spent years doing car boot sales to get enough money for petrol and sometimes food. nights out were non existent and I was so ashamed of my stupidity. Strangely I don't regret it. I avoided any serious consequences and I paid every penny back. I have a sparkling credit rating now but I tend to avoid credit like the plague. Keep your head up, don't get into any more debt and just bite the bullet and get on with it. You won't regret it. The first year is awful but after that every year is easier. I used payplan who were free and fab. Good luck!

[hayser33]

Feel bit more positive now ..had a chat with the other half I'm going to take some time tomorrow when the baby is sleeping to write a plan of action out.
I think we will do an online shop every Saturday night now as I'm not very good in shops I get too tempted by stuff I don't need ie candles and crap

[hayser33]

Oh and I'm going to have a look through debt support threads now thanks

[SouthWestmom]

Online shop is so much cheaper. I've tried Lidl (great, £30, then run out of milk, pop to Tesco and blow £50 on exciting yoghurt), tried shopping with a list and the only way I can do £80 incl fabric conditioner, household stuff is a weekly plan. We don't run out of milk or bread or butter so I can't have an excuse to shop.
I do money in a card for presents for parties - saves going shopping, parking money, temptation etc.

[hayser33]

Yes I need to stay out of the shops !! I need a hobby and to find free things to do with the baby(I don't like baby groups) and the older children on the weekends. Altho weekends are taken up with sons football mainly !and having friends/family round for dinner (which I can't afford to do anymore lol)

[welshgirlwannabe]

When you're skint (or heavily in debt) you just have to go without. It's boring and sometimes depressing but you get used to it soon enough.

Do your food shopping with cash so you're not tempted by candles etc. I did a massive week's shop today in aldi for £42. I would have liked port and pate but not at the expense of food for the family so it didn't go in!

Tbh you probably need to cut up your credit cards otherwise how will you ever get out of this?

I'm not being sanctimonious btw, I'm crap with money too, but that is an awful lot of debt. Dont let it get any bigger. Good luck

[hayser33]

I think food shopping is a big part of my problem I've always spent too much even when I was on my own with the children I'd spend alot .
I never used to be this bad with money -I've spent most of my adult life living on my own with the children and not struggled this much.

[hayser33]

Well not struggled that's wrong work lol ..overspent is more apt

[Notreallyhappy]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2465435-Drowning-in-debt-and-cannot-talk-to-people-in-Real-Life-A-problem-shared-is-a-problem-brought-into-perspective-come-and-join-the-lens

This link in money matters can help.
You need to do a statement of affairs. List your incoming funds, all essential bills, then you can create a budget for debt repayment food & non essential spends including wine. Aldi do a nice limit group if your in need
Shift as much debt to 0% if possible. Set up standing orders about the minimum payment & pay off highest interest first.
As others have said meal plan, no coffees out and random spends on shite. Cancel Christmas presents for grown ups. Good luck.

[Notreallyhappy]

You can still have mates around. Make a big chilli type meal and tell them bring a couple of bottles, it'd not all down to you.
It will be tedious if you can't do anything.

[Fairylea]

I was in 26k of debt some years ago. I think that was the time I stopped drinking (at all, ever!) and stopped buying lunch out at work etc. It sounds ridiculous but it made such a massive difference, health wise as well! I can't ever imagine spending £3 upwards or whatever on alcohol anymore. I don't even like buying it for anyone else, seems such a waste of money now (and I was a very heavy drinker before).

I managed to get out of it and so will you. You really do need to sit down and do a proper budget though. You need to know exactly what's going in and out and what you have to spend.

Make sure your debt is as cheap as possible - switch to 0% deals if possible or consider a personal loan at cheap % if it's cheaper than the interest on cards.

[hayser33]

Does anyone else agree with the saying the more you warm the more you spend. Years ago when my eldest were small and their rather left I was on income support but I had no debt ..things were tight but I managed. Then when I got back into work I had more disposable income and I guess I went spending mad on myself and the children. I dont spoil them but every school residential trip I let the go on. My eldest trip next year for example is costing a fortune and she had her heart set on going..she's such a good person aswell I just can't let her down and say that she can't go. We will scrap the money together if we are sensible it should be OK