Adult pocket money?

(21 Posts)
Snoreborewhoreee Thu 09-Jun-16 10:48:25

Just wondered if anyone sets aside money each week that's just for them? And if so how much/what's your situation?

My partner works so he keeps around £50-70 to himself each week.. I look after the children so just get tax credits etc so I don't get money to myself as such once bills been paid.. I do occasionally have small lunch out once in a while

mouldycheesefan Thu 09-Jun-16 10:55:46

We have an allocated amount of pocket money each per month but we both have the same regardless of earnings as all money is joint. If he has pops pending money and you dint then you need to change the way you manage finances. If there iS 50-70 per week available after all payments are made then you should both have half that.
How do you pay for clothes, haircuts, dentist, socialising, prescriptions, dry cleaning, shoe repairs, sports memberships etc if you don't have any money?

VimFuego101 Thu 09-Jun-16 10:58:11

You should get the same amount of 'pocket money' as he does.

RainbowFlower24 Thu 09-Jun-16 11:03:07

We both work full time, all income goes into a joint pot out of which everything is paid. We keep back in our private accounts the same amount of pocket money each. It was also like this when I was home on maternity leave.

Meandyouandyouandme Thu 09-Jun-16 11:03:43

Yes, my and DH each have £130 per month to spend on ourselves, clothes, going out etc. This is the amount that's left over once all expenses, savings have been accounted for.

You should get half of the disposable income, you are looking after the DC that's your job.

BathshebaDarkstone Thu 09-Jun-16 11:07:25

No, but if I need clothes I borrow some of the child tax credits, then ask my family to help. That's if my only jeans have holes in, or I need shorts for summer etc.

Grumpyoldblonde Thu 09-Jun-16 11:32:48

From what you have written in your opening post it sounds possible you have a bigger problem than 'pocket money'
What I mean is, does your partner earn enough to cover all bills and have plenty left over or is money generally tight? We have had a fluctuating income for years, so sometimes there is just no spare cash for extras, sometimes we have ample, regardless, we share all our money and when there is enough I spend what I like (within reason) sometimes I don't really need anything so my partner may have a bit more (the odd pint, extra petrol, a book)
If I had to ask family for help it would be because 'we' as a unit have no money, not that he has some and I don't.

Snoreborewhoreee Thu 09-Jun-16 13:04:10

Money is generally tight at the minute.. We are expecting third baby but struggling with what we already have.. He gets £1000 a month and I get £586 a month from tax credits/child benefit..
We live with my mom but we pay £80 for tv/bb/phone, 45 each for mobile phone, £100 a month for his credit card debt, £120 a month gas and electric, £80 a month for saving and £30 a month for daughters saving when possible, £30 a month for bus fair so he can get to work, roughly around £160 a month of food etc and usually end up giving my mom between £50/£100 as she's struggling.. Just feel like we're struggling when we should be alright.. I guess I need to look at what's actually been spent

notagiraffe Thu 09-Jun-16 13:16:12

Hmm. Your partner needs to keep £25-35 for himself each week and give £25-35 to you each wee instead of double that amount all to himself. Because:
you both work hard - him at earning for the family, you at raising the family. you should both have equal status as adults in the family
you both need and deserve a break and some money of you own
not having either the time or money to enjoy yourself when he has both is a blatant form of oppression

Get it sorted out. That amount of money is plenty for both of you to have a bit of a break.

Grumpyoldblonde Thu 09-Jun-16 14:02:56

Whoah, £45 each for mobiles? I pay £10 and my partner £7.00 we both have Samsung smartphones and they are capped tariffs and we find it ample. Maybe shop around there. Perhaps switch his card to 0% if possible and your gas/electric is fairly high too. Food looks excellent at £160

mouldycheesefan Thu 09-Jun-16 14:18:23

The issue is that you don't both get the same spending money. Regardless of how much the spending money is you should get the same amount.
At least you aren't paying rent or mortgage.

CountryLovingGirl Thu 09-Jun-16 21:43:12

We both work full time and give ourselves £50 each, per week.

Tigerblue Fri 10-Jun-16 09:58:16

When I had DD it was a joint decision that I gave up work. Money has always gone into one pot and at that point we both agreed we could each have £150 each a month for our own personal spending, ie going out with friends, clothes, treats, buying eachother prezzies. Money became much tighter a couple of years ago, and we reduced this sum to £100. It's not a massive amount, but it saves each of us having to fill guilty if we want a treat and we both stick to our amount. I'm now working part-time and my money goes into the same pot. For now we're sticking to £100 a month as we want to try and save for a rainy day, holiday, car etc.

LyndaNotLinda Fri 10-Jun-16 10:06:22

Why is he giving himself £240 a month 'pocket money' when he's paying off credit card debt?

And WTF £90 on mobile and £80 on telly? You can't afford that! You need to pay your mum first.

You're never going to stand on your own two feet financially unless the pair of you start behaving like adults, not a couple of teenagers.

PrincessWizard Sun 12-Jun-16 14:18:37

DH works, i'm a SAHM. We each get £100 per month spending money after all bills/food/kids activities and savings are put aside. There have been times in the past where we didn't have spending money some months due to unexpected expenses but NEITHER of us got it, not just one.

annielostit Tue 14-Jun-16 17:43:49

If your getting 1580 between you where's the £500 left going after bills & oh "pocket money"?? I think you need a word together. How would you manage if mom wasn't around??

Mrsw28 Fri 17-Jun-16 16:43:35

This is something that we are going to do in our house. I went through all our expenses yesterday as for a while I've noticed that we've been running at a loss as a household (not into debt, into money I have in my account).

I basically spelled it out for my husband that he needs to maintain his average income (£400/week after tax - goes into joint account), £1200 of that goes on bills, I've allocated myself £75/week for groceries, fuel (any leftovers is my spending money) and DH will get £20/week pocket money (if there is any left over), that should leave us with a grand total of £20 to leave in the joint account to build up over time for unexpected expenses/birthdays.

Yes, my DH will get more pocket money than me, it's not really an issue as if I needed money I would tell him and he would give me it. I am very aware that DH earns the money and that the pressure is on him to keep up his work (his overtime every week is what keeps us on top of things) and that I am a SAHM. He doesn't rub it in or remind me but I am conscious of it. We are a team though, we don't really have His & Hers money, it's all our money.

maggiethemagpie Sat 06-Aug-16 15:35:48

I give myself £50 spending money per week. Goes in five minutes though.

LadyLapsang Tue 09-Aug-16 19:16:08

No, I don't give myself pocket money. I earn a salary and buy what I like out of that. When money was more restricted we had a budget and agreed ballpark personal spending. Looking at your outgoings, unless your mother is well off, which doesn't sound likely as you say she is struggling, I would be ashamed to spend almost the same on mobile phones as you contribute to her in lieu of rental. Once your baby is a few months old could you not get some part-time work at times when your DP is not working so you can give your mother a bit more?

Cabrinha Sat 13-Aug-16 10:22:28

You live with your mother, only giving her £50/£100 sporadically when she's struggling...
And you've decided to have a third baby hmm

Calling it "pocket money" is a good indicator that you are still approaching money like a child.

Time to grow up, cut the luxuries (£45 on a mobile???!) start paying your mother proper rent. Your local college may run a free money management course. If not, try the moneysavingexpert website.

Your poor mother, struggling and housing you all when you spend more on your joint mobiles than you do on RENT! That's ridiculous.

TroubleinDaFamily Sat 13-Aug-16 11:47:46

What Cabrinha said, word for word.

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