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I don't know how we're going to cope financially

(63 Posts)
TeapotsInJune Tue 30-Oct-12 08:42:07

Does anyone else get this mad sense of panic just build up and overwhelm them completely? In utterly dire financial mess at the moment and trying to sell the house but no one wants it.

The ridiculous thing is, on paper, we both are well-paid!

OpheliaPayneAgain Tue 30-Oct-12 08:45:40

Can you take a mortgage break? afford to drop the house price? Go through absolutely everything - all the insurances - and look for cheaper cover? Suspend your pension contributions.

TheLateMrPamuk Tue 30-Oct-12 08:46:57

Yep we are the same. We are making cuts everywhere ATM.

sixlostmonkeys Tue 30-Oct-12 08:47:23

That's the problem with financial troubles - they overwhelm you. It's a horrible feeling and actually makes things worse as you don't know where to start and so actually don't 'start' to deal with it.

Sit down and 'deal' with as much as you can. cancel what you don't 'need', change energy suppliers etc, or go to the CAB for help. Once you start to deal with it you start to feel good (and wonder why you didn't do it sooner)
Don't just wait for the house to sell.

samandi Tue 30-Oct-12 08:51:34

No idea if you're being unreasonable or not based on your post.

CailinDana Tue 30-Oct-12 08:53:53

There are always things you can do.

Why isn't the house selling? Do you need to drop the price? Take care of problems that are putting buyers off?

Can you downgrade your mobiles, sell a few things on ebay, cut off a monthly expense?

It's easy to get overwhelmed by money problems, but money problems are fixable. Even if you lose every penny you have, you will still be alive and (hopefully) healthy. It is stressful, but life is still there for living.

What's the main issue at the moment?

CogitoEerilySpooky Tue 30-Oct-12 08:55:10

If you're in a financial mess that involves excessive debts have you tried one of the free debt advisory services such as CAB, CCCS or National Debtline? Otherwise, is it more of a case of getting in a lot of money but not knowing where it all goes?

TeapotsInJune Tue 30-Oct-12 08:56:31

Thanks. It's just that I was in a car accident back in the summer and wrote a car off. Then another car was written off. We can't afford to replace them but we can't afford to not have cars, either. Nursery costs through the roof. Mortgage providers not hugely sympathetic (like I say because we both have well paid jobs) but even before the cars it cost DH in excess of £100 p/w to get to work. Then I got a parking ticket and I completely forgot about it and it ended up costing over £200 because I forgot. We couldn't afford to pay it and took out a payday loan (I know!!!) and that's crippling us.

I know they are my own fault (well writing thecar off wasn't, it was awful and so scary) but all the same it doesn't help when you've no idea how to cope.

Whoknowswhocares Tue 30-Oct-12 08:59:12

There is absolutely no financial problem which cannot be solved but overwhelming panic has the effect of freezing you into inaction. Doing something other than worrying is the key

I would compile a full Statement of Affairs on Take care to do it very honestly and accurately. Then post it on the Debt Free Wanabee forum at
You will then get loads of advice as to the next steps for your individual situation

MissKeithLemon Tue 30-Oct-12 09:00:14

Teapots - have you been on to the money saving expert forums at all?

Lots of fab, very specific, advice over there. lots of posters in the same boat too.

It WILL get better eventually (nursery not forever, house will sell eventually) but in the meantime the hand holding and information over there is fantastic I found when I was in your position.

Good luck!

TeapotsInJune Tue 30-Oct-12 09:00:22

I think it's a bit of both to be honest, we do have a bank loan (for a car) and a mortgage. These together come to £1000 per month. Then DDs nursery is another £1000. That's my take home salary.

Then we both have very high commutng costs, groceries, utilities, council tax, a fine [oops] (DH was speeding) insurance, basically everything else.

We used to balance out as there was some left from DHs after the above came out but lately we've had the most awful run of bad luck. The house does need stuff doing to it as we then at least could rent it out and cover the mortgage but we just haveNO spare money!

MissKeithLemon Tue 30-Oct-12 09:01:01

Ha ha, x-post with Whoknows.

TeapotsInJune Tue 30-Oct-12 09:02:07

Thanks ladies but I really can't face the moneysaving boards again, I had a horrible experience on there when I had just lost a parent which still annoys me when I think about it even though it was months ago now!

PickledFanjoCat Tue 30-Oct-12 09:06:03

Where would you live when you sell it teapots?

Whoknowswhocares Tue 30-Oct-12 09:06:14

Does it cost you money to work then? Nursery costs your take home pay, plus commuting and other costs? Plus any additional benefits you lose by having the higher income if applicable

MissKeithLemon Tue 30-Oct-12 09:07:14

But the advice on money matters is excellent Teapot.

I agree that perhaps a little harsh at times - but ignore all that, its only a forum after all. (MN can be harsh too, its the nature of the beast I'm afraid.)

The posters on the debt free wannabe forum are not usually so harsh, and they are all in the same position as you. The advice, most importantly, is free! Debt comapnies are overloaded with cases these days, and getting any free meaningful advice to help in your specific situation would be almost impossible via CAB/CCCS etc.

I urge you to try it once more and ignore any arses.

TeapotsInJune Tue 30-Oct-12 09:09:14

Hi pickled, we're not actually living in it at the moment, we're living in my parents house who are no longer with us sadly. When/if it sells depending how much money we have 'left' we will probably try to buy somewhere closer to work to cut down on the costs!

Who knows, difficult one, I'd estimate it costs me around £300 p/m in commuting costs to get to work, then £1000 for nursery, so I do still make around £900 'profit' which pays our mortgage and bank loan.

Whoknowswhocares Tue 30-Oct-12 09:10:01

What is better Teapot? Suffering the occasional forum nutter or not being able to sleep tonight yet again because you are so worried about money? I'd say you we're unlucky before, most people over there (like here) are fine albeit a bit blunt at times

Catkinsthecatinthehat Tue 30-Oct-12 09:10:43

If you pop over to Moneysavingexpert they have a 'dealing with debt' board and the people there are always happy to help as they've been in your position.

Do you have close relatives such as parents who could pay off the payday loan and allow you to repay them with lower or no interest? Otherwise it's the usual advice - ebay, flog stuff in car boot sales, do a meal planner and take packed lunch (this really does save money). If you can bear to take on additional work on top of your current jobs the Royal Mail is currently taking applications for Christmas temps and you may be able to obtain weekend retail jobs in the run up to Christmas. I have a friend who brings in a bit of extra money every month through renting a room on Airbnb.

If it's possible can you post a rightmove link to your house, so we can see if there's anything obviously amiss?

TeapotsInJune Tue 30-Oct-12 09:11:05

Thanks MissKeith I might brave it later - sorry, I know it sounds ridiculous but I was obviously very raw and they really did make me cry my eyes out! At least on MN I have usually found that if you say "look you are upsetting me now, please stop it" most posters will be nice, especially if they know the OP is particularly fragile for whatever reason but it was just incessant on there! grin

QueenofDreams Tue 30-Oct-12 09:13:14

Oh I know the feeling you mean. A couple of years ago our situation was really dire (marginally better now, but I guess I've just got used to being broke) It got to the point that every time I thought about money I felt sick and anxious.

TeapotsInJune Tue 30-Oct-12 09:13:38

Thank you smile I'm a bit anxious about identifying myself, otherwise I'd do that. It's a very scruffy house though, no one's lived in it for some time and it shows to be honest.

Catkinsthecatinthehat Tue 30-Oct-12 09:13:40

Sorry, crosspost, I mentioned your parents helping and you've now posted that they've passed away. Apologies.

Can you work from home one or two days a week and save on nursery and commuting costs?

TeapotsInJune Tue 30-Oct-12 09:16:29

Oh don't worry catkins you weren't to know but thank you. I'm a teacher unfortunately so that isn't an option.

I suppose in a way it could be worse as we're surviving day to day but how we're going to find the money to sort out my car I don't know.

cupcake78 Tue 30-Oct-12 09:17:34

We're not in a financial mess but things are very very tight. Both well educated working hard and doing our best but getting everything taken from us and having to continually pay for increases.

There has been some great advice on here for you today. Things have to turn around at some point wink

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