DH has been made redundant...I am now the sole bread winner, I'm up for the challenge, but nervous, any advice ??(4 Posts)
It has been on the cards since before the Olympics, but he came home yesterday and said he has been made redundant. He will get a year's salary, but taxed at 40%, so about £25000 ish. (we have debts etc )
I have my own business, I offer a service in people's own homes, and travel throughout England and wales. I have only ever been able to work at weekends because of the children. When I advertise, the demand is so high that I can't keep up. I have always longed for a free reign to be able to go for it ...now I have my chance. i am up for it, and have reassured DH, and asked him to stay at home and look after the family stuff.
I think I was putting on a front to make him feel secure, but whilst driving tonight I suddenly shat myself and realised the responsibility of it all.
Good luck (and poor DH). I am sure you have done this but make a good business plan with a budget. Think about all the costs of expansion and project how much more income you are going to bring in. Set goals for the next 3, 6 and 12 months. Decide how you will use the pay-out.
Is it possible for DH to work in your business at all? Otherwise, make sure he really knows all the detail of what goes on the house/DC etc and accept that he may do things differently from you. I would set a date every month to have a bottle of wine and an honest discussion about how it is going for each of you. Think about the impact on you of working full-time and make sure there is some time for you somehere in there.
Sudden changes of circumstances are always scarey - but this may end up being a good one.
Yes I think Saffron is very right in that you must accept your DH may do things differently - he may not meet your standards re cleaning for example - or he may do them better. We are in a similar situation in that I have a huge commute and work full time and DH works part time and does most of the childcare although our DS is 14 now and DD is at Uni. We've done this for quite a while though.
Of vital importance to both of us is that our roles within the family are valued equally and that the biggest credit is not given to the highest earner. We are equal partners and make sure that we and the children both understand this.
Time out for yourself is important but also appreciate that your DH needs it too.
thank you both so much. DH can't do my actual work, but is keen to organise me and do my books etc, i have ADD, and struggle with the admin. The children are 5, 3 and 2, so pretty intense with school/pre school runs at the moment. I think that most of the wives of his colleagues who have also been made redundant are upset, yet my initial response was pure joy, I feel like we get him back for us. During holidays and at weekends he is so much fun and lovely to be around, I am hoping that this is how he will be now, allowing for the stress of the daily grind.
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