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Creative writing

Poetry text.

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BINAH · 21/11/2008 21:53

I would like to ask if someone could give me some feedback on this poems.They were written by a friend of mine and i really can't help her because my english is not that good.Sorry if it is not the right place to post and for the lengh of this thread.
TThe inner child:

The inner child:

Against the wind,
weakness struggles.
Underneath the skin,
sharp glass shattering
the flesh in flames.
Self - centered,
embracing the world,
the barefoot child is dancing,
streams of tears rolling down her infant face.
Her eyes are now widely enlarged.
With the innocence of her vigilant soul,
staring at the woman I am.
Today.
At the grief of loving.
The incidious, smooth voice that brings you to love.
To anger.
To hurt.
To redemption.
To forgiveness.
The chilling breeze that comes from within and leaves you numb,
Unknown, the infancy.
Love that tears you apart when you grow captive.
Like butterflies in an alegoric tale of lust and deceive.
Together, embodied, as one.
Their voices echoing endlessly among the tears.
Their eyes gazing in my surreal face.
My inner child.

Morgana Ray,

Fertility dance:

Alone,

she dances.

she offers her body

and opens the eyes

of her naked soul

to the tenderness of the first touch

and the wilderness of love.

solemnly to the Earth,

she returns.

There.

Where bleeding lovers layed embraced

reached to touch her inner glow.

She receives the promise of a new beginning.

Inside her a new being is growing,

cherished by this vital force blown by the lovers against her naked soul,

before she embodies the Earth.

And two become one.

Morgana Ray

thanks in advance. : )

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