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Poems for my daughter

(12 Posts)
RidingOn Sat 02-Nov-19 12:01:27

My daughter died aged 40, leaving two children, 7 and 5.

I've written some poems for her. Would you have a quick read and give me some honest feedback, please? If you like them, I might send them to Roy Castle's Lung Cancer Federation. If not, I shall leave them quietly on my computer.

I've never shared any poems before, and I'd really appreciate some honest reactions. Thank you.

RidingOn Sat 02-Nov-19 12:05:31

Er ... not sure how to attach them, so here they are.

I give you this day
I give you this day,
And all my days -
Oh my daughter, if only I could!
But your days are gone.
And I live your life,
Day by day.

And you would take it,
We both know, rightfully yours.
To see their brave faces,
To hug their small bodies.
You would take it,
This precious day,
With both hands.

If only I could give it
To you, my darling.
This day, tomorrow,
And all of my days.

Ride on
As you rode on the shoreline together,
Bright sunshine, cool breezes, vast ocean,
Did you look behind you to see
That the waves took your prints from the sand?

No, you looked ahead, to your future
The wedding, the children, sweet life,
With all that you had to be glad for
With the man who you loved by your side.

Now we have to ride on without you
Cruel time, cruel tide, cruel sea -
All traces have gone from the sands,
But you are and will stay in our lives.

She sits and plays
She sits and plays, as you sat and played
The day you came back to us,
Safe, we thought, at last.
I heard your music through the open window
As I sat in the garden in the April sunshine.

You will not hear your daughter, playing as you played,
Sitting, straight-backed, staring at the score,
Small hands stretching to the highest notes.
She plays her life sweetly, as you played yours,
Trembling notes slipping through her fingers,
But still trusting, that her life and your life will run on.
Hers through yours and yours through hers.

[Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata]

Were you there?
When I walked in the hallway,
Were you there, were you there?
When I walked in the hallway,
Were you there?

Chorus
And the tears and the smiles
And the hugs don’t matter -
Were you there?

When they put on their helmets,
Were you there, were you there?
When they put on their helmets,
Were you there?

Chorus

When they rode off to school,
Were you there, were you there?
When they rode off to school,
Were you there, were you there?

Chorus

When they struggled with their reading,
Were you there, were you there?
When they struggled with their reading,
Were you there?

Chorus

When they lay on their pillows
Were you there, were you there?
When they lay on their pillows,
Were you there?

Chorus

When we all wept together,
Were you there, were you there?
When we all wept together,
Were you there?

Chorus

[To the tune of ‘When I needed a neighbour, were you there?’, a hymn by Sydney Carter. See www.youtube.com/watch?v=fExR7eOhJO0 ]

Thank you for your time!

KTD27 Sat 02-Nov-19 12:07:36

I think they’re beautiful. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. flowers

RidingOn Sat 02-Nov-19 12:14:09

Thank you, KTD27. I've put them on the Bereavement thread too, in case they strike a chord with someone there.

TheBitchOfTheVicar Sat 02-Nov-19 12:25:06

I think they are beautiful too x

TrafalgarSquare Sat 02-Nov-19 12:28:04

Heart rending. Please send them off. x

RidingOn Sat 02-Nov-19 15:09:13

Thank you for your comments. smile

LivStylesFire Mon 04-Nov-19 06:43:33

They brought tears to my eyes! Beautiful and incredibly sad! Keep writing it is an amazing outlet. Love to you! XO

Somebodystired Fri 22-Nov-19 16:42:58

These are incredible, I really felt the emotion behind them please do send them off.

I am so sorry for your loss and for your grand children's loss.

ClashCityRocker Fri 22-Nov-19 16:45:11

I love them all, but she sits and plays really hit me.

xkcdknowsmybrain Fri 22-Nov-19 16:47:36

so sorry for your loss

theseaisbrightfromhere Fri 22-Nov-19 17:24:58

I'm so so sorry for your loss. These poems of love are very special - I really hope that you get comfort from your writing, and I'm sure that others will too.

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