Relationships with widowers - help for a novelist

[maleauthor]

I'm a writer (six published non-fiction books and one published novel). I'm working on a novel in which the main male character is a widower aged about 52, having lost his wife in an accident about three years before the main story begins. He was happily married for about 25 years, his children are adults, and he feels at sea in trying to form a new relationship - something he badly wants. He craves physical and emotional intimacy, but has little idea how to go about achieving it. Sadly, I have a couple of friends who've been in the position. I feel I know this man. What I have more difficulty in imagining is how women might relate to him: the issues my main female character might have in starting such a relationship, and then in sustaining it. My idea about the female character is that she is also somewhat shut down emotionally, having been divorced in her early thirties, and then bruised by an affair with a man during a work assignment abroad in a war zone with a man who hid the fact he was married with kids back home. She's a highly skilled professional woman aged about 45. I think before my man meets her, he's going to have a relationship with someone else that ends badly. Is there anyone out there who would like to give me some thoughts?

[BeccaMumsnet]

Hi there maleauthor - we're just going to move this into a more appropriate topic for you.

[JohnFarleysRuskin]

How's it going?

If your main female character has had an issue with an ex-wife previously eg. a relationship with a divorced man who is, eg. at the beck and call of his ex, then the appeal of a man without any real/living baggage would be enormous (initially!)

So you could do a trajectory where she is thrilled - there is no rival - before gradually realizing that the situation is far more complex.

[BurntSugar]

There is a LiveJournal community called which is specifically aimed at writers researching novels. Tbh, when I used to be a member it was slanted more in favour of figuring out how far a horse carrying a knight in armour could travel in half an hour, or which part of the body someone could least riskily be shot in and still be able to walk ten miles, but it might be worth a shot.

[BurntSugar]

Have just reread yours. Ignore me - this isn't a research issue, this is a knowing your character issue, really, isn't it?