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Creative writing

Can you give me some feedback on this please and whether you get it?

3 replies

IceniMist · 19/12/2014 22:49

I can't promise you tomorrow, but I can give to you yesterday.
And I'd love to spend more time with you, but I can't promise you i'll stay.
I can't tell you why I think the things or do the things I do;
Even I do not understand, but I know that I love you.
I'm afraid that I can't give you the world or capture you a star;
But my dreams I give to you, and I know you'll take them far.
I know that I am going somewhere, a place that is meant for me,
Please do not fear or worry, it is the place I am meant to be.
You will not becoming with me, no, somewhere else awaits for you;
Because you are strong and brave my dear, loving, gracious and true.
My blood is running through your veins, my light is in your eye;
So keep them dry and steady when I wish you my final goodbye.

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LostTeacher · 20/12/2014 00:32

A poem from a dying (or possibly suicidal) parent to their child?

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Angelto5 · 20/12/2014 00:36

Beautiful Smile & very movingThanks

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IceniMist · 20/12/2014 08:35

Thank you. Suicide is correct and from parent to child. Just trying to get it right. Based on experience, thankfully not my parents though.

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