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Moving back to England from Ireland

(10 Posts)
ballym Mon 19-Oct-20 21:32:51

So we moved home to ireland over 2years ago . I've got all my family here but my husband is English and all his live there . I've got a job and he's been unable to get one in his type of work so he's been minding our two school aged boys. This year with covid has been so isolating for him and he has tried to fit in and do stuff but it's just not worked out for him . He found meeting new people very hard , not being able to visit his family and overall missing his job which he can't do here so very difficult. Overall he want to move back to England and as u can imagine I'm not keen . My mum has been unwell this year and is still recovering and will always need help now , I've a big family which my boys loved being around. It's a massive decision going back but I can't see him be unhappy all the time but if we move back I could be unhappy ... Just don't know what to do. We did not take the decision to move to Ireland likely it took years but I just don't know what to do . Has anyone moved back ?

OP’s posts: |
Radyward Tue 20-Oct-20 23:08:26

He has made a sacrifice for you which has not worked out well job wise for him - that's life. For his happiness and future job prospects. Its move back time .At least ye know after living there how hard / easy it will be to move again. Basically you moved and it hasn't worked out at all for one of you sadly

3littlerabbits Tue 20-Oct-20 23:19:28

Moving to England isn’t going to work for you though, by the sounds of it. Maybe he needs to look for different work? Good luck, sounds tough x

LadyWithLapdog Tue 20-Oct-20 23:25:06

I don’t think this is a good time to move back. Maybe give yourselves another couple of years to make things work there and for the after effects of Covid and Brexit. It’s not going to be nice.

BuffaloMozzerella Tue 20-Oct-20 23:49:21

2 years isn't that long. Especially with 6 months of C19 to consider.

I wonder if relocating within Ireland could help? For example if you are currently living in a small town where everyone knows and grew up with everyone else, this could be much harder to integrate into than if you were living in Dublin where there is more going on and greater diversity.

GingerAndTheBiscuits Tue 20-Oct-20 23:57:57

I wouldn’t do it now, at least the next 6-12 months here are going to be miserable with the uncertainty over no-deal Brexit. Depending on his profession there’s no guarantees he’ll pick up work back in the U.K. either. At least see out the school year for your kids and then see where you stand.

MarDhea Wed 21-Oct-20 12:57:06

It sounds like he's unhappy in Ireland and you'd be unhappy in the UK, so what would be best for the kids?

Have you experience of schools in the UK? Their poor-to-mediocre quality and attitude to education (even in co-called "outstanding" schools) was a huge issue for me when we still lived in the UK, and my experiences matched the various international reports that put schooling in Ireland ahead of England/Wales on almost every measure. Related to schools but more broadly, I found kids in the UK to be far more stressed about all sorts of things than kids here of the same age, which tallies with the recent UNICEF report on child wellbeing that ranked Ireland well above the UK (not that it's a paradise here - move to the Netherlands for the happiest young people, apparently! - but there's a big Ireland/UK difference on nearly all measures).

Your mileage may vary, of course. But it wouldn't be right to uproot the kids again if they're better off where they are. Would have have the same support structure and opportunities to flourish wherever you're considering in the UK?

kittykat35 Wed 21-Oct-20 13:08:12

What is your dh's job OP? Would he not like to try something new? He could look at some local springboard courses to try something new maybe? Whereabouts are you? What kind of industries are in your area? Would a move elsewhere in Ireland be better?

kittykat35 Wed 21-Oct-20 13:12:47

Also what ages are your boys? If they are exam years it will be very difficult? If they in 5th class then they could technically be going into secondary school next year instead of remaining in primary. If you only started them say this year at age 5 then they could be made to hop from junior infants to year 1 which would be a HUGE jump as the system is so different. Just from an education perspective it requires a bit of thinking!

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Mon 26-Oct-20 21:11:30

Job market here in the UK is atrocious right now. 100 applicants for one role is not unusual. In every market even those which were niche/lucrative 12 months ago. It's completely a buyers market. And then there's sodding Brexit.....

Most if not all interviews are online too. You could be anywhere! A lot of employers are advertising roles as "usually based in x" on the basis that they can stipulate later that you show your face in the office occasionally at your own expense. Many companies are closing offices almost permanently and having a complete rethink.

Tax is an issue if it's a UK based company without an international resource pool but I'd suggest he starts by looking for the dream job and you discuss further if he gets it? I have a family member domiciled in the UK for tax purposes who used to be in the UK Mon-Thurs but he's been "working from home" since Covid started.

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