Ds is 17 and in 5th year. He has severe dyslexia and since he started secondary he has struggled with anxiety. He had CBT in first year which helped him and he found TY fairly relaxed and he managed well.
I was nervous about 5th year and the LC stress, and although he started well his anxiety has been getting progressively worse since Christmas. Through our GP we found a psychologist, and miraculously he agreed to see her, but we had a 3 month wait to get a regular appointment. He started about a month ago and is finding the process very stressful. He missed one appointment because he had such a severe panic attack that he vomited in the car while outside her office. He is really trying and desperately wants to have a 'normal' life.
The school have always been very supportive and I've always kept them informed of how things are going. Since Christmas his attendance has not been great, but I try to get him in every day even if it's only at lunchtime. At least 2 days a week he is in all day, the other 3 he is in at either break or lunch. Sometimes I bring him in at break but he has an anxiety attack so we go home and I bring him back at lunchtime. Getting DS to school has become my life's work and it is exhausting.
Yesterday I had a meeting and the year head told me that unless his attendance improved he would not be allowed back for 6th year. I was stunned. I reiterated how he is doing his best to overcome the anxiety, we are all doing our best, my life revolves around it. I was so upset, I am doing everything I can to help him, now we are faced with the threat that if we don't do more, if he doesn't 'make is anxiety go away' (oh if only it were that simple') they will expel him and he will not be able to do his Leaving cert.
It seems to me that effectively they are saying that unless DS' mental health improves he will be expelled, surely that can't be legal? They also said that even if his attendance improves and he is allowed to stay that they will remove the learning supports he has in place due to his dyslexia and give them to another, more deserving pupil.
I'm really shocked by this total turnaround in the schools attitude, they had previously been very supportive and encouraging. I'm not sure what to do now, I didn't tell DS what they said, he would be devastated. He already feels a total failure (his words) for not being able to go in every day, piling on the additional pressure could be catastrophic to his mental state. He is a lovely boy, and between anxiety and dyslexia he has enough to deal with. They kept saying during the meeting how well liked he is by all his teachers but they clearly feel he's not trying hard enough. I'm absolutely baffled at their attitude to his mental health. They said there are so many in his year suffering from mental health issues, they seem to think expelling them is a good way to deal with the issue, as another friend of DS was told the same.
Any thoughts on how to handle this? Thanks
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School threatening to expel because of poor attendance due to severe anxiety
20 replies
chartreuse · 26/04/2018 08:31
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26/06/2018 14:45
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