When your student dcs come home will they be going out with local mates or having boyfriends etc to stay?

(24 Posts)
MrsMiaWallis Thu 19-Nov-20 13:15:21

If lockdown is lifted?

OP’s posts: |
jasjas1973 Thu 19-Nov-20 13:21:34

I don't think any of that has stopped has it?

MrsMiaWallis Thu 19-Nov-20 13:33:41

What do you mean? Boyfriends staying over aren't 'allowed' at the moment

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MrsMiaWallis Thu 19-Nov-20 13:35:36

I'm probably not explaining very well sorry blush

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jasjas1973 Thu 19-Nov-20 13:39:50

whats allowed and whats happening are two very different things.

yr 2 and 3 students tend to live in private digs and are doing pretty much what they want, certainly based on what my 3rd year uni student DD tells me.
their education has been xxxxxx up, i don't want their limited social lives to be too.

onyourway Thu 19-Nov-20 13:47:13

I think we will need to see what the restrictions are at the time, depending on where you live.

Assuming the halls are emptied by the 9th Dec and they come home, they will have a very long time at home, not seeing local friends if that is still restricted.

yeOldeTrout Thu 19-Nov-20 14:05:03

Adult DC are adults. They don't tell me what to do, either.
I imagine the adult DC will each try to meet up with friends somewhere.

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Blobby10 Thu 19-Nov-20 14:25:40

My DC never meet up with others when they are home in 'normal' times apart from their dad and his new wife, and possibly their cousins on my side. They have all grown apart from the pre uni friends around here.

Tyzz Thu 19-Nov-20 15:08:32

Lots of young adult DC are not students. Mine are single early 20s.
They normally come home for a few days and meet up with old school friends.
This year I hardly dare think about it I am ECV and DH is over 70. DD is a teacher and lives about 40 minutes away but I haven't hugged her since March. I don't know if it will be safe for her to even come in the house.
DS is going to isolate before he comes home but I don't think he can go out to the pub with old friends even if it's allowed as the risk to me is too great.

TickTickClock Thu 19-Nov-20 17:04:54

We're a normally healthy family and I think fresher DD has been through enough this term to be honest. It's been a very tumultuous ten weeks and we haven't been able to see her once since she left for uni in Sept. I have played 100% by the rules and am extremely cautious in my everyday life but frankly I am willing to bend the rules a little for her to see one or two close friends and her boyfriend (who she's not been able to see since September) over Xmas. I think she really needs it.

cologne4711 Thu 19-Nov-20 17:11:39

My ds is still at 6th form college but if he came home from uni I would be happy for him to go out and meet friends in line with whatever the restrictions are at the time in our area: outside only, rule of 6, only two households, whatever. Unless we suddenly go back to the rules we had in lockdown one we can see people to some extent.

I let him stay overnight with a friend during Oct half term when we were in tier one.

MrsMiaWallis Thu 19-Nov-20 17:18:55

Yeah, i do want dd to come home and have a good time bless her. Just worried as i have an asthmatic dd2 doing mock a levels after xmas. I'll try and chill out a bit. She's seen her boyfriend every day at uni but I don't particularly want him to come and stay (he lives a long way away so would have to stay here if they met up)

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OffredOfjune Thu 19-Nov-20 17:38:10

MrsMiaWallis

What do you mean? Boyfriends staying over aren't 'allowed' at the moment

I think it's very obvious though that it has still been carrying on.

But yes, I would allow partner's round, and would allow them to see friends. They are adults.

MrsMiaWallis Thu 19-Nov-20 17:45:09

Well, most of us are adults, that doesn't mean we should just do what we want if we live with others. I'll see what the guidelines are by then.

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OffredOfjune Thu 19-Nov-20 17:46:05

MrsMiaWallis

Well, most of us are adults, that doesn't mean we should just do what we want if we live with others. I'll see what the guidelines are by then.

Did I say that?

IceCreamAndCandyfloss Thu 19-Nov-20 17:48:48

Mine aren’t away but if they were and came home I’d expect them to follow the law so no overnights and SD when meeting friends and no indoors if not allowed.

MrsMiaWallis Thu 19-Nov-20 17:48:51

I'm assuming the social mixing will carry on being "forbidden" after lockdown. Of course I could be wrong

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user1487194234 Thu 19-Nov-20 18:57:27

No mine will stay home and do crafts and play board games
Not smile

MrsMiaWallis Thu 19-Nov-20 19:21:38

user1487194234

No mine will stay home and do crafts and play board games
Not smile

Ha ha - but seriously, if social mixing isn't "allowed" will you just let them do whatever?

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cantkeepawayforever Thu 19-Nov-20 19:25:32

DS will do what is allowed, but no more, and almost certainly less (including not coming home at all) as he is worried about us.

That is normal for him and his very close group of friends. If he is allowed to meet for a socially distanced walk with a mate, he will go for a walk with that mate, but he would not seek to do any more.

When he is at uni, living exclusively with young, healthy students, he may be more risk-taking (and has in fact had Covid, as have 7/9 of his accommodation bubble, all asymptomatic), but at home with us? No.

user1487194234 Thu 19-Nov-20 22:11:21

* Ha ha - but seriously, if social mixing isn't "allowed" will you just let them do whatever?*
They are adults,so I won't be forbidding anything

cantkeepawayforever Thu 19-Nov-20 22:17:00

user1487194234

* Ha ha - but seriously, if social mixing isn't "allowed" will you just let them do whatever?*
They are adults,so I won't be forbidding anything

Exactly. DS is an adult, and will make sensible, thoughtful adult choices within the legal framework and guidelines we are all living within, bearing in mind the needs of others and his community.

I wouldn't have done my job if he still needed ME to make the rules and point out the issues at this point in his life.

Etinox Thu 19-Nov-20 22:28:42

Mine- students, and in their 20s will not be socialising in others’ houses. I’d rather see them than elderly relatives but they’re definitely not coming home, socialising them having christmas lunch with 80yos
Amazed that other parents aren’t able to do what’s right.

MajesticWhine Thu 19-Nov-20 22:37:48

DDs are coming home soon. They will definitely be socialising with friends. That hasn't really stopped and they have not been observant of rules at all. In fact DD2 seems to have met a new boyfriend. I'm not super keen on overnights, so not at our house. DD1s boyfriend is more long term, and she goes to his place a lot.

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