Am I wrong for following this rule?

(13 Posts)
Lockdown2worry Wed 18-Nov-20 17:27:34

When lockdown 2 was announced, my dad asked if he and my mum could come round to see us and my children (as they normally would) as he had heard from someone that grandparent bubbles were allowed.

When I looked into it, I realised he was referring to childcare bubbles. However they wouldn't be providing childcare as both myself and partner are at home. I explained this and suggested meeting outside within the guidelines but this has been turned down and, to cut a long story short, it is clear he isn't happy with me and thinks we have a different interpretation of the rules and that I'm being unreasonable.

AIBU to stick to my guns or am I a horrible daughter for keeping them from their grandchildren? Feeling quite upset about it as have only tried to follow the guidance and have now had a bit of a backlash.

OP’s posts: |
SingANewSongChickenTikka Wed 18-Nov-20 18:16:52

No, you’re not unreasonable for following the rules, and shouldn’t be made to feel bad for doing so.

Hayeahnobut Wed 18-Nov-20 18:20:40

Your interpretation is correct, and strictly speaking you shouldn't be meeting outdoors even.

Is it the right thing to do? Make your own risk assessment. If you all WFH, no other contacts, then meeting up carries minimal risk. If any of you are working in a high risk environment, then meeting up is very high risk.

Frazzled13 Wed 18-Nov-20 18:24:05

Reading the legislation the childcare bubble allows for contact between the children and the household providing care (so you can’t socialise with your parents as part of it) however there is no restriction given on the reason for the childcare. So it could be because you wanted a break, for example.

That’s the legislation, obviously many people would want to go beyond that and only use childcare if required for work, medical appointments, emergencies etc.

joystir59 Wed 18-Nov-20 18:26:29

I think you need to assess the he risks for yourself- risks of grandparents getting covid versus effects on their mental health caused by being isolated

Finfintytint Wed 18-Nov-20 18:33:19

Make your own assessment as an intelligent adult. If you can distance within the home, have a clean toilet available and maintain distancing with no hugs or licking of faces then crack on.

Hurryupbaby11 Wed 18-Nov-20 18:53:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.


tappitytaptap Wed 18-Nov-20 19:10:08

My parents are similar to yours, under 70, healthy etc and they look after our DC two days a week. They would in no way want to stop this, and were upset when we wouldn’t let them have DC2 when DC1 was isolated. They come into our house to do childcare part of the day due to practicalities and we only have one bathroom so we all use the same loo and my house isn’t that big we could keep 2 metres away. Their view (which I share to some degree, though I am not breaking any rules or anything) is that covid is not the only thing in life that needs to be considered. Some people are basing every single decision on it but I personally believe it’s a balance and we have to factor in other things such as mental health and family relationships.

Quartz2208 Wed 18-Nov-20 19:14:41

are you at home working? We both work from home but my parents come round 3-5:30 every day so we can finish work when the kids are home from school within work hours freeing up the evenings we did not have during lockdown.

They have always done this (been my childcare for nearly 11 years now)

Lockdown2worry Wed 18-Nov-20 19:21:55

@tappitytaptap it sounds very similar to my situation and that's very much how my parents think too which I understand.

My husband is working from home - I'm at home but not working so childcare isn't needed. I suppose I've always been a rule follower so have gone along with what's been asked.

It's very difficult as my dad won't outright speak to me about it so we can't have an open conversation but he will give me the cold shoulder and pass comments about it when we speak on the phone.

OP’s posts: |
Calmandmeasured1 Wed 18-Nov-20 21:23:06

Your interpretation is correct, and strictly speaking you shouldn't be meeting outdoors even.
You can meet up outdoors (not in a garden though) at a social distance with one other person, even outside of your household or support bubble.

Lockdown2worry Wed 18-Nov-20 21:28:51

Thanks @Calmandmeasured1 - I've suggested we do this but I don't think it will happen as suspect my dad will dig his heels in.

OP’s posts: |
Delatron Wed 18-Nov-20 21:59:19

Well they can provide childcare and are clearly desperate to see their grandchildren and you.

You, of course can say no. Are you doing to to protect them though or to follow the rules? Technically a childcare bubble is allowed.

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