Child access

(14 Posts)
iamtheoneandonlyyy Wed 18-Nov-20 14:25:36

I need to figure out if I'm being over cautious, petty or biased.
I live with 3 small children
My single adult bubble is my mums house. She's disabled and also vulnerable
Ex lives with his mum. Has kids there twice/ three times a week.
Have had a letter from gov health people (sorry I have forgotten the title)
Our area is bad for COVID at the moment.
I have recently found out ex is secretly living with a woman and presumably her family but coming back to his mums to have the kids. He believes the virus is a scam.
Should I send them as normal or what do I do?
Background is he's nasty to me and wouldn't care less about my mum being exposed.
Recently his teen son had COVID and he told me he was going to go round and kick his face to prove he wouldn't catch it
My heads very muddled as this break up is fairly recent and ongoing disagreements

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iamtheoneandonlyyy Wed 18-Nov-20 14:26:22

Nor does he go by isolation rules etc

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slidingdrawers Wed 18-Nov-20 14:35:21

I would withhold contact based on his threats of aggression to his teen DC, unless that was a typo. If not a typo, back to your solicitor to amend the contact order urgently. His behaviour over Covid is, I agree, highly irresponsible.

Hayeahnobut Wed 18-Nov-20 14:40:02

Whilst his behaviour is irresponsible, you don't appear to have any evidence that he is putting the children he has with you. Most people are still going to work, education etc through this, so his risk level may not be any higher than the next person. Plus unfortunately we can't deny people access to their children because they believe conspiracy theories.

I'm assuming the teen child is not yours, and that he wasn't serious about assaulting the child? There's an issue there that needs to be addressed, but it is not yours.

Hayeahnobut Wed 18-Nov-20 14:40:53

* the children he has with you at particular risk.

iamtheoneandonlyyy Wed 18-Nov-20 14:43:02


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TMIincoming Wed 18-Nov-20 14:43:30

You can’t stop him seeing his own children due to covid. It’s explicitly mentioned in every set of lockdown rules and regs.

If you have bigger concerns take them to court, but you can’t use COVID as an excuse to stop the children having time with their dad.


iamtheoneandonlyyy Wed 18-Nov-20 14:44:27

It's not the conspiracy theory stuff that bothers me, it s that he's not following guidelines/ laws so I can't work out if I need to stop seeing my family etc so the kids can see him.

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slidingdrawers Wed 18-Nov-20 14:49:40

Okay so no evidence of aggression. How does your Mum feel about the situation? I'd personally be led by her.

iamtheoneandonlyyy Wed 18-Nov-20 15:23:20

@TMIincoming no I never have, if I didn't try he wouldn't bother
I'd never stop them seeing him unless I had to, despite it coming close. And it's not what I asked

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iamtheoneandonlyyy Wed 18-Nov-20 15:24:58

No, aggression at me but not the kids. The point I'm asking is an I supposed to end my bubble because he's too selfish to go by the rules?
The rules are all over the place I know but they are what they are and I'm careful for my family

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StatisticalSense Wed 18-Nov-20 15:44:07

If you don't feel safe seeing your mother if he continues to have contact with the kids then yes you will have to end your bubble. Whatever you think of his behaviour it is more important that children are able to see their father than you are able to see your mother.

iamtheoneandonlyyy Wed 18-Nov-20 16:17:17

Hmm debatable I'm afraid but that's what I was thinking anyway.
I've never stopped them seeing him, we are only still local here for that reason. It's just wrong that he cares so little for others that he can still hold power over me and cause my family to suffer.
Disgusting man. I won't drop feed, I just wanted to know what the thinking was in general

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iamtheoneandonlyyy Wed 18-Nov-20 16:17:31

Thanks for replies

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