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Family breaking lockdown rules

(234 Posts)
PandemicPalava Tue 17-Nov-20 15:53:25

My family are not following the guidelines as they've had enough of it. I'm finding it really difficult.

Mum and sister plus family live together so are in a bubble with my Nan. However my Nan and mum have both had my other sister and cousins in their houses.

I'm so worried for them all. Walks outside would be fine but they're popping round for a cup of tea like there is no lockdown.

I broached it with my Nan earlier and she said her mental health and my cousins are more important than Covid and she'll suffer any consequences, health, legal or financial.

I'm so torn as I don't want anyone falling apart buy equally don't want anyone to fall ill. Nan is 82 and mum has asthma.

I don't know what to do or say. Probably nothing will make any difference and they're all adults. I just think it's insulting to all those struggling that they've just chosen not to bother and are being flippant about it all.

Urgh. Just needed to rant.

What would you all do / say if anything?

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OffredOfjune Tue 17-Nov-20 15:55:06

I'd do nothing. It's up to them. I hardly know anyone following the rules this time round.

lughnasadh Tue 17-Nov-20 15:57:01

You've already said plenty, and you know what they think.

Covid kills a miniscule minority of people. They know their own minds, and their choices are their own.

I think the majority of us are behaving as your family are.

SummerHouse Tue 17-Nov-20 15:58:18

I don't blame them. I think it's best to leave others to their own decisions. I wouldn't say anything but I wouldn't join in with them.

Tfoot75 Tue 17-Nov-20 16:00:11

I think the concern for health is just nonsense really as its no riskier than it was 3 weeks ago when you (presumably) wouldn't have had a problem with it. For every 100,000 people at least 99,000 of them doesn't have covid (or 99%), so the chances of them getting it from one rule break are tiny and always have been.

Stick to it if you want to but don't judge what other people are doing, the price is just far too high for many people.

Remmy123 Tue 17-Nov-20 16:01:03

They know that covid is blown out of all proportion and want to live their life. It's up to them and nothing to do with you.

SaveWaterDrinkGin Tue 17-Nov-20 16:02:45

This does my head in. Stop concerning yourself with other people’s business.

Do what you feel comfortable doing and don’t worry what everyone else is doing. It has no bearing on you.

PandemicPalava Tue 17-Nov-20 16:03:06

Thanks all. I also know lots of people not following the rules but am not going to join in with my family as I don't want to add to the mix which could potentially impact their health.

The thing which gets me is that they are very poor at dealing with consequences, and I think if anyone was to fall ill they wouldn't be able to deal with the guilt and would wish they had done different.

It's true they are adults and I have said enough. My Nan was telling me on the phone last week that she hates how she can't hug the kids but I just can't do it. Id never forgive myself if she fell ill

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PandemicPalava Tue 17-Nov-20 16:05:59

I can't believe how many of you think this is no concern of mine. I'm not judging, I'm concerned. Yes a few weeks ago I would have been round there too but it's the push back like I'm in the wrong for wanting to abide by the advice which gets to me.

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OffredOfjune Tue 17-Nov-20 16:07:00

Well they're not concerned, so there's nothing that can be done.

PandemicPalava Tue 17-Nov-20 16:08:51

Also I do realise the mental health implications are horrible. My Nan is lonely and my cousin is an alcoholic who is struggling so yes, this will have benefited them both mentally. My family aren't particularly robust mental health wise which is also why I am concerned as any illness which comes as a result will floor them.

Choosing between the shit or the more shit

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Jroseforever Tue 17-Nov-20 16:11:23

I would say nothing at all

PandemicPalava Tue 17-Nov-20 16:11:31

@SaveWaterDrinkGin it does have bearing on me as I am trying to understand the different reactions to this. It has surprised me as my family are usually so straight laced, not risk takers so it's come as something of a surprise. Saying that I'd be equally concerned if they went too far the other way and locked themselves inside. I work in social studies and politics so I can't help look at what other people are doing and why.

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Hayeahnobut Tue 17-Nov-20 16:11:38

You need to make your own risk assessment of what is safest for you. The government aren't following their own rules, which is why five of them are now in self isolation, and as this has now happened too many times to count, people are making up their own minds.

It's ok to care, but keep in mind that the rules don't always reflect what is best for everybody.

Jroseforever Tue 17-Nov-20 16:12:29


I can't believe how many of you think this is no concern of mine. I'm not judging, I'm concerned. Yes a few weeks ago I would have been round there too but it's the push back like I'm in the wrong for wanting to abide by the advice which gets to me.

But I don’t get what your dilemma is.

You said something and they put you straight.

So what’s the dilemma?

DesireAs Tue 17-Nov-20 16:13:17

You have a very wise nan.

cakewitch Tue 17-Nov-20 16:14:09

An awful lot of people have more, immediate things to worry about in life other than a miniscule risk from covid. I refuse to see my parents mental health deteriorate over this.

PandemicPalava Tue 17-Nov-20 16:15:48

@Hayeahnobut yes that's a god point I think, it's difficult to pick it apart. I suppose that's added to the lack of interest in the rules. It feels messy

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SaveWaterDrinkGin Tue 17-Nov-20 16:16:36

But you can’t control what other people choose to do. You’ve told them your concerns, it’s not changed their behaviour. I’m not really sure what you want people to say here?

Passthecake30 Tue 17-Nov-20 16:17:05

My mum is 82 and the isolation of living alone even with a support bubble of my sisters house does get to her. She is obviously so much happier when she gets to see other people. We made it down before this lockdown and she was just SO pleased to see us, when she usually is a bit grumbly ifykwim. She’s seeing more people than she should too, but for her own mental health, when she has health issues, I choose to turn a blind eye.

PandemicPalava Tue 17-Nov-20 16:17:28

@Jroseforever I don't know really. I suppose it's that I'm the black sheep as I'm not doing it too and I feel like they think I'm unreasonable. They haven't said that but I do know they think I'm a goody two shoes generally. They're not wrong about that to be honest! Just feel conflicted and out of control

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PandemicPalava Tue 17-Nov-20 16:18:12

@DesireAs yes sort of, sometimes. I have a very pliable Nan who will likely have a different take on it next week

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PandemicPalava Tue 17-Nov-20 16:18:41

@cakewitch maybe this is the approach I need to take. It's hard

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PandemicPalava Tue 17-Nov-20 16:19:26

@SaveWaterDrinkGin nor do I, I'm confused but you're all helping me un pick it with different perspectives, so I appreciate that

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PandemicPalava Tue 17-Nov-20 16:20:59

@Passthecake30 maybe I need to do just that myself. I find that hard but yes, they are adults and I can't control them. I can't help but worry though. Can you turn a blind eye and still be terrified?

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