Before I start moaning, I know in the grand scheme of things, I don't have too much to worry about, and my situation isn't unusual, but I'm having a bad few days.
Two days now since my children had covid tests, and still waiting for results. This is the second time in four weeks, and if the results don't come through in the next three hours, a total of a week off school for each of them since September, not to mention three other days for one of them with a tummy bug. So nearly two weeks off school. While waiting for results, both adults in the house are trying to combine work and some level of home schooling.
I'm on the verge of resigning from my job, a job that I love and have been doing for 12 years. But I'm not doing my job properly (and it's being noticed) and I'm not doing my parenting job properly, as when they should be learning, they're having to sit watching a film most of the day so as not to disturb mummy and daddy. Neither of us can change our hours to work early mornings and evenings (one of us is a teacher, the other has a workplace only open 9-5, and the work cannot be done outside those hours) and there's just constant stress and tension. My employers have been sympathetic so far, but it's becoming less. First lockdown we didn't have this issue - both keyworkers so kids went to school.
On top of that, my mum is alone, vulnerable, would potentially suffer really bad effects if she caught covid. She's also a couple of hundred miles away, so I'm trying to care for her as best I can over the phone. She's hardly seen anybody for months, and I can sense her mental state deteriorating somewhat.
I keep reading threads on here where people are getting test results back in 12 hours. Where do you people live and can I move there?!!! I follow the rules, but my kids coughs were better yesterday, next time I'm half tempted to lie and tell school they're off with colds and just send them back once the cough is gone. I won't do it, I'll do what I'm supposed to, but I'll be tempted.
Despite all this, I know I'm lucky that nobody I know has been really ill (or worse) with this, and lucky that we're both still employed, for the moment at least. But I've always been prone to a level of depression if life isn't going well. I'm a person who needs predictability and stability, and I just kind of feel like I can't control anything right now. Maybe I need some help, or at least find ways to relax and calm my mind a bit.
Oh yes, and it's my birthday on Wednesday. It's my day off and I was planning a day at home alone with my favourite treats and movies. Keep your fingers crossed that I'm able to get that!
Sorry for my moaning, I just needed a bit of a rant.
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Covid
Struggling today...
9 replies
CastIron · 17/11/2020 04:19
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