Housemates been totally floating the lockdown

[Flowersinthewindowstill]

Two random people recently moved into my flat, M (30), F (22) and I'm F (28.) He's a bar manager and she works in a clothing store, so both are furloughed. From the beginning of the lockdown she's been having friends over/going to gatherings. Our immediate neighbour has noticed and commented. I'm WFH full-time.

I would have possibly let it go if it had been one person, but this was numerous people. On top of this she's smoking in the flat and doing drugs constantly. She's very touchy feely and obsessive about me and has kissed me on the lips numerous times, always trying to hug me and hold hands with me. In pre-corona times, I'm happy to be affectionate with friends, but kissing on the lips etc is something I've never done and feel particularly uncomfortable with, as I don't kiss anyone on the lips, even in a friendly way, other than a romantic partner.

A lot of friends say just tell her, but it's easier said than done. She's a very, very friendly, hyper girl. After the neighbours complained about her having people around and being noisy at all hours, I did mention to her that I think she needs to be more careful as there's the possibility of fines. All this would be fine in normal circumstances, but she's done/said things at times that make me feel she's quite unhinged. She thinks we're the best of friends, but I actually feel uncomfortable with all her behaviour.

Some would say report her, but I feel like it would be obvious who had done it and I've got to live here until at least January. Whilst I'm not overly worried that Covid would kill me, if I have to isolate or got ill it could mean I couldn't work, might not be able to go home for Christmas (assuming we're allowed), won't be able to see boyfriend once lockdown ends. I'm not living under a shell by any means and have seen a few people pre-lockdown, gone to restaurants but I feel these have all been measured risks. I worked out I've had more contacts via her in the last 9 days than the previous nine months.

The guy generally hasn't been having anyone over, but did go to a party with work colleagues the other night.

Summary: 22-year-old girl who acts obsessive about me is flouting the lockdown, smooching me and generally not acting too Covid-friendly. Can be aggressive and mentally unstable, so not sure how to express my discomfort without causing an explosion.

[Flowersinthewindowstill]

When I say my flat - the flat I rent a room in - I don't own it, so it's 'my flat' really. But I've lived here alone since March so got quite territorial haha.

[Feenie]

I think you probably meant flouting.

[Flowersinthewindowstill]

I would edit the title for people's comfort, but I'm not sure MN allows it.

[Defenbaker]

OP, that all sounds pretty disconcerting, especially the female who sounds like an unstable loon. She's probably overfriendly once she's high, which is a concern during a pandemic.

You mention a possible move in January - not long to wait then. If you move out over Christmas to stay with your parents make sure you have a lock on your room door - the female one with a drug habit might not be above pinching something to sell for drugs, if she's desperate enough.

How old are your parents? Are they vulnerable? Is there any way you could just move out earlier, to live with your parents? Even if it means still paying the rent until January (when your contract expires?), maybe it's better to move out now than continue to run an increased risk then perhaps take the virus home to your parents at Christmas? You would need to be careful - perhaps isolate in one room at your parents' home for a week or so, certainly avoid hugs and kisses with them, as female flatmate has been so determined to spread her germs to you.

Otherwise, perhaps consider renting a small studio flat in January (if not sooner). A tiny flat of your own is a far better choice right now.

[Flowersinthewindowstill]

Thanks for the response. My mum's 62 and my Dad 53. My Dad has sleep apnea, though I don't think either would be classed as high risk. To add to the complications, my Mum has a pretty severe mental health issue (though not dangerous) that makes working from home impossible and the whole environment is not great. The house is also very cluttered as she hoarders things.

The potential plan is for my boyfriend to possibly relocate to London early next year and we'd get a place together, which would hopefully put an end to this.

The housemate has also tried to pressurise me to take drugs, stripped off in front of me with no warning and lied about random things. All very concerning.

I'll probably stay at home at least a few weeks over Christmas (my company has a shutdown, so WFH less of an issue.) Thankfully I got a lock on my door when I moved in a year ago!

[Ilikewinter]

I would be complaining to the landlord and if he doesnt shift her out asap then id be giving notice and going to live with parents (as youre already planning on staying there for a few weeks anyway) ....no way would i be living with her, she sounds seriously unhinged.

[Defenbaker]

That's tricky... no easy solutions. Does your mother used your old room to hoard stuff? Would she understand if you explain the situation, and allow you to clear the room and move back in? If your employer is shut down in December and there's no need to work from home, maybe a cluttered room at your parents' house would not be too bad for a few weeks.

Could you speak to your employer and explain why WFH is no longer an option, if you need to decamp to your parents' house? Could you ask work colleagues if they know anyone with a spare room, or even an empty holiday home? You might have to break lockdown rules to move out, but as your unstable druggie flatmate is putting you at risk, breaking the rules to protect yourself seems reasonable. But please keep your distance from your parents as you could unknowingly be carrying the virus.

Meanwhile, perhaps you could spend a lot more time in your room, with the door locked, pretending to be on conference calls or working to a deadline. Just say anything to keep druggie flatmate from invading your space. That might get you through the next 2 weeks of lockdown.

[OpheliasCrayon]

At this point I would be less worried about covid and fines and more worried about the fact that I lived with someone who was acting like that towards me. She sounds unhinged. I would be looking to find somewhere else to live that would make me hideously uncomfortable and not anything to do with corona!

[nimbuscloud]

😳

[GreyishDays]

@Feenie

I think you probably meant flouting.

If you read the whole post you can see that she did mean flouting.

[Morgan12]

What drugs does she take to cause this behaviour? Is she on them every day? I'd be trying to move earlier.

[Flowersinthewindowstill]

@Morgan12

What drugs does she take to cause this behaviour? Is she on them every day? I'd be trying to move earlier.

Weed, MDMA (for sure) and (possibly) coke.

[reefedsail]

You definitely just need to focus on being out of there ASAP. Tell the landlord why, too.

[Flowersinthewindowstill]

Unfortunately the landlord lives abroad and the house is run by an agency (who generally don't give a crap about anything) 😒

[2bazookas]

contact your landlord and tell him about the flatmats use of drugs, frequent male visitors, inappropriate sexual behaviour , complaints from neighbour etc. Say you can;t live like this and he must get rid of her or you leave.

[2bazookas]

@Flowersinthewindowstill

Unfortunately the landlord lives abroad and the house is run by an agency (who generally don't give a crap about anything) 😒

well, maybe the local police will get a tipoff about her dealing drugs, frequent male visitors etc

[HumanFemale1]

WTF, the kissing on the lips is quite odd and she seems like she's a drug addict. I'd stick it out until January (it's only 2 months) and then I would move out.