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Elderly Dad and his elderly nighbour

(18 Posts)
OverTheRainbowLiesOz Sat 31-Oct-20 22:28:14

I've been driving to see elderly Dad once a week to take supplies. I pick up very lonely elderly neighbour in my car (wearing mask) and we all have coffee. In garden mostly but with me at top of stairs with window open during bad weather. Only social contact and both lonely.

Is this still allowed for support / supplies / company? As part of my bubble? I'm not clear.

OP’s posts: |
BackforGood Sat 31-Oct-20 23:42:52

I think it is something that would fall under 'carer', so I would carry on. Very difficult to challenge in the confusion of all the directions, and certainly not something the police will be tailing you about town to pick up on. The gain from it is a health and wellbeing / carer responsibility as far as I can see.

TweeBree Sun 01-Nov-20 08:09:59

This is definitely caring for vulnerable people. Keep on, keeping on.

OverTheRainbowLiesOz Sun 01-Nov-20 15:09:22

Thanks for your help. I'm comfortable with dropping off Dad's stuff and having a chat with him.

It's the elderly neighbour bit I'm much less sure about.

OP’s posts: |
Treatscatscrave Sun 01-Nov-20 16:23:22

Just do it. It is arguably an act of care not a social call.
To be blunt, I don't think the police will care.
It's really important to distinguish between an act of care and socialising. This in my view is not socialising.
I think 99 % would agree.
Please don't worry about it.

StatisticalSense Sun 01-Nov-20 16:28:30

No. Having coffee with neighbours is not permitted however old you may be. It is permitted for you to drop off shopping at the doorstep but visits should go no further.

alexdgr8 Sun 01-Nov-20 16:31:43

i have to agree with statistical.
it is an unwarranted risk.
can you ring the lonely neighbour instead.

nevergoingoutagain Sun 01-Nov-20 16:33:33

I think you just need to use common sense around the rules. I'm assuming that elderly neighbour and your elderly dad don't go out really so as long as they're happy with the risk and you are sticking to the rest of lockdown as best you can I think it's ok.

Also I couldn't leave someone lonely.

JamieLeeCurtains Sun 01-Nov-20 16:38:11

Personally, I'd up the precautions and carry on.

So, extra PPE, lots of Dettol spray in the car, hand washing, fastidious washing up and bathroom cleaning, wiping and spraying, and separate hand towels that you take away and wash.

This is my life with visiting physios, OT's etc at the moment, and you are just as much a lifeline to your father's elderly neighbour.

msbevvy Sun 01-Nov-20 16:45:59

I don't quite understand. Why does your Dad's neighbour need picking up in a car? Is it very remote and far from your Dad's?
It is the car journey part that is risky for him unless you aren't coming into contact with others.

Whoooootaminute Sun 01-Nov-20 16:48:17

I would continue. As said upthread just be on top of any cleaning of yourself/them andhands/car interior etc.

It must be bloody awful being an older person isolated at home.

Treatscatscrave Sun 01-Nov-20 18:02:55

It IS permitted for compassionate reasons. This is arguably a compassionate reason.
You'd have to have a pretty warped view to view this as socialising.
I'd do it. What I would NOT do right now is meet friends, family purely for social reasons.
Just do it, op. No policeman is going to arrest you for it.

You would be acting within the law AND could justify it morally.

MereDintofPandiculation Sun 01-Nov-20 18:38:14

People living alone are more vulnerable because no-one is looking out for them, for their state of health, prompting them to seek medical attention. It's difficult to see if someone is their normal self if all you do is drop groceries on their doorstep and wave at them from a distance.

OverTheRainbowLiesOz Mon 02-Nov-20 11:55:02

don't quite understand. Why does your Dad's neighbour need picking up in a car? Is it very remote and far from your Dad's?

She is at the bottom of his steep road and is too frail to walk up it - hence the compromise with the mask & car.

OP’s posts: |
OverTheRainbowLiesOz Mon 02-Nov-20 11:58:24

Her family (who live hours away) want me to continue but when you look at the rules it doesn't fit.

When I ask people in real life they are also split 50/50 as to whether I should continue. Morally - yes. Rules - no. I'm going down early this week and need to make a decision.

Her daughter said that my visit is the highlight of the week.

The only compromise that I can think of is for me to spend double the time and visit them separately in their own homes.

OP’s posts: |
OverTheRainbowLiesOz Mon 02-Nov-20 12:01:39

Definitely going to continue with the groceries but it is her mental health I'm worried about. She needs a tiny bit of company to get her through the week.

I'm assuming that elderly neighbour and your elderly dad don't go out really

No they don't go out. They are reliant on people dropping off groceries.

OP’s posts: |
ChristmasCantComeSoonEnough Mon 02-Nov-20 12:07:55

This is against the rules but if I am understanding the situation as they are both single households they can form a bubble. It’s just the car journey that breaks the rules, if you were a taxi driver it would be allowed. I think what I’m saying is try to take the precautions a taxi driver would, masks, open windows, clean car before she gets in etc.

DownThePlath Mon 02-Nov-20 12:09:02

Carry on.

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