Support bubble - the theory and the practice

[WorriedMummy2020]

I have one surviving parent who Iives alone, is 80 and who has mobility issues (arthritis), type 2 diabetes (controlled) and takes warfarin for a heart condition.
Where in live the rules allow me to form a support bubble with them but I have not done so as yet as am still too worried to meet them indoors. Over the summer we visited each other gardens or met at other outdoor locations and kept a social distance at all times. I have childen of primary school age. They have not touched my parent since March. We all live in two areas with high covid infection rates.
Looking ahead to the long, dark and for my parent, lonely, winter days, what would you do? Bubble with them and meet indoors while social distancing or not take the risk, only meet outdoors and resign yourself to the fact this means you'll hardly ever see them?

[Racoonworld]

What area do you live in? It would make a difference if it was a tier 1 or tier 3 area. Also how much you have been doing. If your out in restaurants, kids in school, public facing work then no I wouldn’t. Working from home, staying outdoors, tier 1 area then yes.

[WorriedMummy2020]

I'm not in England but rolling 14 day count is over 600 cases per 100,000 / almost 20% test positivity where I live and is more or less the same where my parent is. I think we'd be Tier 3 in England but we're in Wales so under national lockdown anyway.

[WorriedMummy2020]

Me and DP work from home. Kids do a fair few activities outside school (or did, until lockdown). We do a bare minimum of visits to shops for food and essentials and the school run but nothing more.

[Scarby9]

I live in a Tier 1 area, work in a Tier 2 area, and my parents live almost 3 hours away in another Tier 2 area which is in consultation about becoming Tier 3.

I am technically and officially in a support bubble with them, so like you I could sit in their house without social distancing. In practice, like you, I am keeping my distance as my job means I am meeting a lot of people and I don't want to put them at increased risk.

I visit them fortnightly, agonising over the weather forecasts to pick the driest, least windy and warmest available day so I can get them out in the garden. But it is getting harder and harder as autumn sets in.

Today we had coffee in the garden when I arrived with them in full fleeces, scarves and gloves. Then I went into the kitchen to reheat the meal I had brought. My parents then sat at the far side of the living room for lunch while I sat in the doorway to the garden. In the afternoon we drove out (separate cars) and went for a short socially distanced walk. This is basically the pattern of all my pandemic visits since shielding paused.

It works because it has to, but I know I can't make them sit outside in driving rain, snow or freezing temperatures. And I will be no less likely to bring them the virus in those conditions than I am now.

I have formed the bubble so that my parents feel okay about me popping into their kitchen and in case they go into Tier 3, so they know they will continue to see me.

[purpleme12]

I would ask your mum what she wants to do.
If she's ok with it then I would be too

[purpleme12]

Is it your mum? Or ask your dad if it's your dad!

[SirSamuelVimes]

@purpleme12

I would ask your mum what she wants to do.
If she's ok with it then I would be too

I would have done this months ago.

[Torvean32]

I think if you both work at home and the kids dont have a mass of activities, if your mum wants too i would visit indoors. You can still distance. It's better than her spending dark evenings always on her own.

[Nettleskeins]

My parents found it less stressful to bubble with elderly people who were like them, seeing no outside contacts? Is that a possibility, does your mum have a friend or neighbour she could meet without distancing, indoors, who is also single? It could be a couple. My mum also has diabetes and arthritis and is overweight poor mobility, so it was really important to keep her in good spirits and keep moving. And socialisingvwas a v v important part of that, getting up to make simeone cup of tea etc.

[Nettleskeins]

Petsonally I would visit indoors, cos that is what my mum wanted, as well as her own "bubble," but due to geographical distance I have only seen my mum v occasionally. Another relative my age gave up distancing v quickly and decided she was in my parents" household, as she was constantly caring for them, with two primary kids. The kids kept away though, it was just the relative who visited/cared for them regularily. For example the kids will come over in halloween outfits and show her from a distance, not sit on her lap. But mostly outdoors, no meals etc.

[yahyahs22]

Its up to you but my dad has cancer and although my area is one of the lowest rates in the country, that hasn't stopped him being cautious. So I hug him when he's comfortable, he hugs my son and I make sure I won't have any regrets in a few years time when he possibly won't be here anymore