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toddler has to self-isolate. Again.

(17 Posts)
mumtobe9 Mon 26-Oct-20 09:41:52

In march i had 2 weeks of self-isolation due to my baby developing a fever and cough and being send in from nursery. A month ago he got a temperature on Friday. Following the guidelines, i took carers leave at work and child was well on saturday so he returned to nursery on Monday and i went to work. 1 week ago the nursery called me as he got a temperature over 38 and that it was now their policy that he had to be tested before He could return. i got him tested and by the time i returned to work i had taken 3 days off. he started a course of antibiotics as he has been having phlegm for the last 3 weeks.
Now they rang me over the weekend, one of the toddlers in his class tested positive and my lo has to self-isolate for 14 days (not me). He spend last night coughing, just after he was doing so well after finishing his antibiotics on Thursday!

Putting this in context i work in the NHS in a very short staffed ward. My manager was less than pleased to hear that im going to be off again. i have spend too many carers leave and self isolation days lately and i'll probably have to take some of my annual leave days i have left. i haven't even mentioned the cough to my manager as i am afraid she thinks im taking the piss and i just want the paid self-isolation days. i dont want to get him tested again, im hoping it is the cold and not corona, since my GP has refused to see my baby in person a few times.

AIBU to be feeling so bad? its not even november and i dont even want to count all the days i have been off so far! i know my employer cannot sack me but this will probably affect my ability to progress since i appear to be so unreliable lately... :-(

anyone else on the same boat? Now i understand people who send their kids in sick. If i didn't have a permanent job i would probably lost it already.

OP’s posts: |
Frazzled2207 Mon 26-Oct-20 09:47:42

That does sound like a rubbish situation. You could ask your manager what she expects you to do- the whole 14 day thing is a somewhat arbitrary rule that I’m not sure is that effective at stopping the spread of the virus.

Is your child’s df around to share the burden?

Also call the nursery and clarify the 14 days. It should be from when the actual child and yours last had contact. So quite commonly by the time a child has a positive test it’s often 10 or 11 days left not the whole 14.

Hugosmugo Mon 26-Oct-20 09:49:16

I'm really sorry that you are going through this. I can understand why you are frustrated honestly. You've been really unlucky to have had to take so many days off work.
The rules are there though and employers need to be supportive of that.
Also, sorry to be a pain, but your child has been in contact with a positive case and has now developed a cough. Go and get him tested. It is the responsible thing to do.

Frazzled2207 Mon 26-Oct-20 09:49:23

Ps also write to your MP. There should be financial help available for people like you I.e not isolating yourself but having to take 2 weeks off work to look after a child who is.

NoSquirrels Mon 26-Oct-20 09:52:53

Do you have a partner?

I’m afraid you do need to test your toddler again (and I know it’s unpleasant and inconvenient) because he’s coughing and has a positive case at nursery. If he’s positive you will need to isolate so get it done.

ShowOfHands Mon 26-Oct-20 09:56:58

I'm 4 days into my second period of 14 days. My eldest tested positive first and 17 days later, my youngest.

My work are understanding but 28 days out is a bloody nightmare. DH is a copper with a lot of responsibility and he needs to be at work right now.

Thing is, even though both of my children have now had it, it makes no difference. As soon as they get another virus with a temp or a friend is confirmed as having it, we willl do this again. And again. And again.

We followed the rules because we have to but the small voice wishing we hadn't is there. We are missing out on money, the children on their education and it is miserable.

boarboar Mon 26-Oct-20 09:58:54

I feel your pain.

We had just completed a self isolation period last Tuesday and then on Friday I had a ping on the app to self isolate again for another 10 days. I could honestly cry, I dont understand how we can have been been exposed when we were at home. I keep having to WFH while the TV babysits my toddler. Work are patient, DH booked some AL but this is getting ridiculous now and I'm dreading telling them about this week (luckily have some AL booked for part of this week). There's no solution, I'm just fed up and I have no advice beyond just tell your ward manager what you've said here, document these conversations via email. This is going to go on and on.

TheMagicDeckchair Mon 26-Oct-20 10:02:42

Similar here. 2 weeks isolation in March due to DD having fever. No nursery in April or May. Now in week 2 of DD isolation from nursery due to 2 x positive cases the previous week. That’s 3 months out of 10 this year I haven’t been able to go into work because of all this. I can do most of my job from home but boss wants office staffed- sorting post, taking phone calls, taking deliveries etc. I wasn’t furloughed so worked throughout.

I only work 3 days so easier to cover than full time but this is how I’ve covered it- DH taken a few days leave so I can go in, working evenings and weekends and popping into the office some evenings to sort out paperwork after DH has finished. DD has just tested negative so she will go to my parent’s one day this week. I won’t take all my annual leave this year so a 2/3 days of that will cover the times I couldn’t work.

It’s a crappy situation and totally out of your control but if you show willing to work around the issues then I think that will be favourable to your employer.

mumtobe9 Mon 26-Oct-20 10:09:55

Thank you for your support. His father works on a contractual basis with a timeframe. he will help me for a couple of days but this is limited by the nature of his job.
My DS was in contact with the child on friday and we got the news on Saturday which sounds very confusing to me (unless they were tested in the hospital it usually takes 24 hours to get the results!).
Im just sitting here not knowing what to do. I dont want to get him tested again yet as i know it might take a few days for cover to show on a test. GP have refused to see him for the last month and he has been in a constant chest infection, but he is not as bed to be send to a hospital. Sick of this whole cover situation :-(

OP’s posts: |
mumtobe9 Mon 26-Oct-20 10:10:07


OP’s posts: |
PinkDaffodil2 Mon 26-Oct-20 10:18:57

It’s up to you if you get him tested of course, but as he now has symptoms you have to isolate the whole household not just him if you don’t get a test which might be a pain, whereas if you have a negative test it’s just him needs to finish isolating as a contact.
Please contact your GP if you’re worried and think he might need antibiotics (they can do video assessment and remote prescription) or if you think he might be poorly enough for hospital.
Otherwise if he’s been poorly for over a month I think you ought to wait until his isolation period is up before asking for a face to face assessment as he quite likely has Covid and I understand why the GP doesn’t want I examine face to face right now.

BumDiggyDiggyDiggyBumDiggyBum Mon 26-Oct-20 10:25:00

@mumtobe9 we have the same situation as you. DD having to self isolate, close contact with a child at school on Friday who got a positive test result Saturday.

She has no symptoms (yet!) so I’m not overly concerned. I’m just angry that the other child’s parent has possibly sent their child to school after a test and/or with symptoms. I’m also ECV so it’s a bit worrying that way but not much I can do about it now.

BumDiggyDiggyDiggyBumDiggyBum Mon 26-Oct-20 10:26:46

I’m lucky that I’m permanent wfh anyway so not making too much of a difference that way, my DP works away so he can’t come home until after her isolation period at least (self employed, if he can’t work, were pretty much fucked) I feel for those having numerous isolation periods and having to take time off work, must be really hard flowers

Hugosmugo Mon 26-Oct-20 13:14:45

But you know your child has been in contact. You don't want to get him tested because a positive results may mean you all isolating but think of the impact that it would have if you don't get him tested and then you spread it. Selfish.
I really do sympathise, but not getting him tested is really not on.

Hugosmugo Mon 26-Oct-20 13:15:17

Also, did the child's parents tell you themselves? Only wondering as obviously I assume the nursery wouldn't disclose that.

VeggieSausageRoll Mon 26-Oct-20 13:19:05

If his cough is covid, then it'd show on a test now as he has symptoms. He really does need to be tested. If he's negative then you don't need to isolate, you can share the childcare with his father, but if he is positive you obviously have to isolate with him.

He really needs testing before you go anywhere.

Devilesko Mon 26-Oct-20 13:21:53

I think you just have to suck it up, I suppose on the bright side you both get to take time off and keep your jobs.
It is awful atm, managed terribly from the start.
You need to get tested, you of course should know this working in the NHS, you could contaminate the whole place.

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