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Really struggling to care for my baby while having covid

(50 Posts)
HL123 Sun 25-Oct-20 19:01:49

I tested positive 6 days ago and have progressively been feeling worse. I'm a single mum to a 4 month old, and I'm just so exhausted with getting up in the night to feed her and generally caring for her while trying to get better - I don't feel my body is getting a chance to recover.
I feel so stuck as no one can help care for her in case she has it and passes it on (thankfully she isn't showing any symptoms but not worth the risk to others).
I guess I'm just posting to vent, as I know there aren't really any options for me that could help, but feeling very down about it this evening.

OP’s posts: |
Layladylay234 Sun 25-Oct-20 19:03:58

That sucks,as a mum of an almost 5 month old (and previous single parent),you have my sympathies. Is there anyone who can come and help you? Maybe take the baby out for a day whilst keeping their distance from you?

Bluewavescrashing Sun 25-Oct-20 19:07:00

Get well soon. It's so hard with a little baby. Is there a friend who could cook you a meal and leave it on your doorstep so that's one less thing to do?

Meuniere Sun 25-Oct-20 19:08:22

Can someone come or can you go somewhere else whilst you recover?

bookish83 Sun 25-Oct-20 19:08:30

I really feel for you. That is tough thanks

Could anyone take baby for a walk for you? You put in pram and then really there is no contact xx

sausagerole Sun 25-Oct-20 19:14:06

That's really tough, OP. Really hope you feel better soon. Could some friends plan your snacks and drinks and meals and drop them off - that way you don't need to cook or even think about what you need. Could a friend take baby for a walk in the pram (perhaps with raincover on -will she nap in the pram? I'm so sorry, what a difficult situation. Do you have someone checking up on you in case you take a turn for the worse?

BabyLlamaZen Sun 25-Oct-20 19:15:24

oh you poor thing! Please can you get in touch with someone for help? Flu is bad enough and be quite dangerous if you're out of it as need to look after your baby. Can you talk to your health visitor for advice?

OnlyFoolsnMothers Sun 25-Oct-20 19:16:14

I’m so sorry OP, I only had d&v bug with a 6month old alone and that was hard enough. Surely someone could take her for a walk in the buggy with a bottle of formula wearing gloves and mask etc?

Lindy2 Sun 25-Oct-20 19:16:19

That must be so tough.

Is there anyone checking on you? I know you need to isolate but hopefully you have someone making sure you have enough food, the medicines you need etc.

As a previous poster said some nice home cooked meals left for you on the doorstep would be one less thing for you to need to do for yourself.

I would suggest just snuggling up in bed with your baby. Concentrate on nothing else other than resting and nutritious food and plenty of fluids.

everythingisginandroses Sun 25-Oct-20 19:16:47

Sorry to hear this, the exhaustion of Covid is really tough I know. The night of lockdown, DH and I were both sick and self-isolating, day 6 for me, and I had to get up every hour through the night to bail out water from a bathroom leak that decided to spring that night. DH was too unwell to get up, I felt atrocious, but if I didn't do it the house would have flooded!

My DS was 11 at the time, so I can only try to imagine doing this with a tiny baby on my own. Please take care of yourself as best as you can, get plenty of fluids and paracetomol, if you are feeling breathless try the Queens Hospital Breathing Exercises and if you have to ask for help do it. Hope you feel better soon. flowers

AdoraBell Sun 25-Oct-20 19:23:13

Is your baby bottle fed? If so, could a friend or relative prepare the bottles for you and wash the bottles. And also buy you some ready meals you could microwave instead of actually cooking food for a few days? Plus fruit and veg/salad for snacks if you don’t have enough appetite for a meal?

I really hope you get better very soon.

Sunshinegirl82 Sun 25-Oct-20 19:29:27

That's beyond tough OP. There will be some exceptions to the need to completely self isolate for these type of situations. Call your GP and health visitor in the morning to see if they can suggest anything. I'm low risk and to be honest if you were my sister/friend I would just come and help you!

JenniferSantoro Sun 25-Oct-20 19:31:32

I have no idea how you are managing. I have Covid currently and there’s no way I could get up and care for little ones. I really hope you’re feeling better soon 💐💐

WingingIt101 Sun 25-Oct-20 19:38:14

Hi op

I had to isolate recently whilst my baby (6m) and I tested negative but we love with dh who tested positive.
I know first hand how hard isolation is with a baby is, and not wanting to risk passing on the virus to others (I shouted at my poor brother who kindly suggested my mum who lives down the road come and take the baby for an hour, that If we passed it to her and it killed her id not survive the grief!) so please let me tell you how incredible you are managing everything whilst you are ill with the virus yourself.

Little things that helped us -
Meals from cook.
Disposable plates and cutlery (we got recyclable to ease my eco-guilt)
Cans of dettol hard and soft surface spray - 1 per room so you can wipe down as you go.
Looking at the day in chunks - take it one hour at a time if you need.

Now is not the time to try and do everything, your baby will be absolutely fine without loads of playing or stimulation for a week or so, and you’ll get better faster if you are well rested.
Keep your paracetamol up to control any fevers/aches etc (obviously in line with any doctors advice you’ve been given!)
Accept help. I’m terrible for this but some lovely friends forced it on me early on and my god it saved us. They dropped off toys their kids were fed up with so dd wasn’t too bored, food, medicine etc.
If getting to the kitchen feels too much effort for you can someone drop off bottles of water / lucozade etc - you can just shove the pack by the bed / sofa to minimise you getting up.

Wishing you well very soon x

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 Sun 25-Oct-20 19:39:56

I really feel for you, my 18 year old ds had Covid end of March and only managed to walk between the bathroom and his bed for 13 days. Is there nobody who can cook you some meals, get shopping and leave on your doorstep? If baby is bottle fed can someone get you those ready prepared formula cartons?

sausagerole Sun 25-Oct-20 19:47:49

Just to echo what other PP have said, if I had a friend in your situation I think I'd risk it to help you out! Do you have anyone you could ask to help out overnight even, with feeding and resettling baby?

HL123 Sun 25-Oct-20 19:50:50

Thankyou all so much for your lovely and encouraging replies.
I did speak to my GP a few days ago who pretty much said there's nothing I can do, and that as it's very likely DD has caught covid from me it'd be too risky for anyone else to care for her. I think I'll give my HV a call tomorrow to see if she's any suggestions.
My mum was in contact with me just before my positive so she is isolating herself. She is very helpful but there's little she can do at the moment unfortunately.
Luckily I've got a shopping delivery slot for tomorrow so I'll be stocked up on medicine and ready meals (as much as I hate to rely on those!).

OP’s posts: |
Bagelsandbrie Sun 25-Oct-20 19:51:05

I feel so sorry for you. If you really have no one else to help you and you cannot cope please make contact with your social services department and ask for foster care respite. It sounds extreme but they will provide temporary care if necessary- they will be used to these sorts of situations where single parents need help due to extreme ill health / surgery / hospital care etc. These things happen and I know foster carers who provide this type of care and they are lovely people who just want to help.

HL123 Sun 25-Oct-20 19:53:28

My best friend has offered to come and help however her step dad is in the vulnerable category and not well, so I just wouldn't feel comfortable with that, as much as I appreciate her offer.

OP’s posts: |
onedayinthefuture Sun 25-Oct-20 20:11:58

That sounds really tough OP but this time will pass. Once you're better and out of isolation could you not arrange to stay with family for a little while? It will give you something to look forward to knowing you'll be able to catch a break.

Msmcc1212 Sun 25-Oct-20 20:20:05

Really feel for you OP. That sounds so tough.

I think PP idea of your friend taking the baby out in the pram with the raincover on is a brilliant idea. It would give you small breaks at least. You could pop the pram outside and step right back. As long as they disinfect the handle and their hands there would be very little risk. They needn’t go far. Just up and down the road.

Hope you feel better really soon flowers

WizWoz Sun 25-Oct-20 20:28:05

Parenting when you’re ill is incredibly hard. I remember having a tummy bug and sitting on the bathroom floor breastfeeding, occasionally leaning over to vomit while the baby was still latched on. It doesn’t get any easier I’m afraid, for the first few years it’s utterly miserable because you can’t rest no matter how ill you are. Then it takes longer to recover because you can’t rest.

Trainchoose Sun 25-Oct-20 20:28:39

Not quite the same, but DH was away when I had flu when DS was 3 months old, it was savage AF. My tips:

If FF buy the ready made if you can afford it, just a few days worth but made all the difference. It was still an epic mission to clean and sterilise bottles, but I did it once a day and at least didn't have to make the milk up.

Playpen! In honesty the first day I felt so rough I put the playpen in my room, chucked some toys in and left him to it. I know that sounds bad, but we were in the same room, he was safe and occupied. It was hell getting up to feed, but I had bought the bottles up, the milk was fine out of the fridge as was the individual ones, and just fed him in my bed.

Stick hey mama baby sensory videos on YouTube, don't feel bad about putting the TV on if you need a break.

Easy meals for yourself, and any tidying etc can wait.

Keep nappy changed etc, but water and cotton wool wash is fine if he needs a wash rather than a bath just for a few days until you feel better.

If you need something dropping off that will make things easier, ask a friend who can leave it outside for you.

Postmysecret Sun 25-Oct-20 20:47:06

Since your mum has contact with you before you tested positive I would say the risk is no different for her to come and help with the baby for a few hours or the full day, give you chance to rest.

Sandyjag Sun 25-Oct-20 20:53:17

I’m not sure it is ‘very likely’ your daughter has contracted covid. Transmission is far from 100% and was even as low as 14% in one study in married couples I believe. You need help. Doctors and nurses work with people with covid, they’re not just left to fend because they have it. So there is a level where the appropriate person could help you at home, whether that’s a carer, a health visitor, a friend or whoever. I hope someone can provide the correct info on this. Your Gp should be ashamed saying you have to cope alone. I hope you can find a better source of info and some help. The above ideas sound good with meals and baby walks but if you need more help than that you must be able to get it. Sending strength.

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